Post by: Ex-MA Hole on April 22, 2008, 03:14:15 AM
I have a thought&.ALL MEN NEED TO CUT YOUR PENISES OFF&.this makes perfect sense if you think about it...
1. Its for the children. If men didnt have a penis, the small percentage children being raped and molested would go to zilch. Disregard the other ways of forcibly violating someone, its not prudent to this conversation.
2. It would cut down on global warming. Since we couldnt reproduce naturally, there would be less children. Less children = less people. Less people = less global climate change.
3. Only the high class and wealthy would be able to afford to have their wives artificially inseminated. Therefore, the common person couldnt afford it. This would stop the average person from reproducing. We would have a much better caliber (like the pun?) of people. You know, the wealthy, the ones that could afford to have children, the average could not. Wait a minute- youd need a special license to have children. Yeah, then the Government could regulate it for us. You could charge a fee for this right/ license to generate revenue. That way the common person couldnt afford it. We don't need the average citizen having children.
4. Since only a few select people would have children, they would lock in the future for the world. They would (obviously) control the world in short time, since they were to only ones that would be around.
5. Rape and sexual assaults would decline across the board&No one would have a penis, so no one would be raped. Again, disregard dildos, broom sticks, hamsters, fists, etc. We all know that there are no dildos in the world, so that would cease to be a problem.
6. The pornography industry would come to a grinding halt. No penis, no sex. After all, since the religious groups all (just go with this for the sake of my theory ) dictate that sex is for procreation only, sex is only had via missionary position. Everyone knows that the penis is the cause of love. Love = sex, since people only have it with their significant others.
7. It would be easy to accomplish this. You simply make it a law, and men worldwide would just voluntarily, without any fight, cut their penises off. After all, if it is a law, everyone would be on board. Then you can send special teams door to door to hold an inspection to make sure that all penises are gone.
What say you, the fine members of APS?
Post by: bedlamite on April 22, 2008, 03:31:04 AM
Quote
THE GUN IS GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL! THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS TO PRODUCE THE HATED HUMANS! WHILE THE GUN SHOOTS DEATH TO CLEANSE THE EARTH!
Post by: cassandra and sara's daddy on April 22, 2008, 03:33:25 AM
Post by: geronimotwo on April 22, 2008, 03:36:33 AM
oakland ca had a sterilization program in the mid 90's. they put up a billboard offering $600 to ladies willing to go through the process. i thought it was a great idea, being voluntary as it was. if someone needed the money that badly, then they should be allowed the choice.
nice photo, maybe i should reconsider.
Post by: LadySmith on April 22, 2008, 03:46:53 AM
...and 
....and 
I know I don't have a (weenie) dog in this, but I cringe nevertheless.
However, I do get your points (I hope).
1. Rape and molestation isn't about the penis, although the penis could be used as a weapon. Similar to how banning guns doesn't stop murder.
2. If people start equating global warming with penectomies, it might drive home the point how misanthropic the whole concept is.
3. Elitism.
4. Elitism at its worst.
5. Oh no! Hamster abuse!!! But again, it's not the weapon. It's the warped mind behind it.
6. Everyone would become atheist lesbians, including castrated men.
7. How gun and penis banners everywhere imagine things would go.
Post by: grampster on April 22, 2008, 04:09:10 AM
Post by: Ezekiel on April 22, 2008, 04:23:53 AM
Loads of "concealed" wood doesn't make anyone -- nearby -- less likely to be injured by wood. Further, the presence of such, even if you are Peter North, does not allow for an ability to main/injure dozens at a time, unless you take into account the potential waste of millions in live ammo.
Still a cute model, though.
Post by: Dntsycnt on April 22, 2008, 04:38:38 AM
These are serious questions that must be addressed before this program begins.
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on April 22, 2008, 04:40:27 AM
Post by: Sindawe on April 22, 2008, 04:42:41 AM
Quote
It would cut down on global warming. Since we couldn’t reproduce naturally, there would be less children. Less children = less people. Less people = less global climate change.
Being childfree, I already have that base covered.
Quote
The pornography industry would come to a grinding halt. No penis, no sex.
Oh, how LITTLE you know of porn, you poor missguided soul.
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on April 22, 2008, 04:58:17 AM
Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.
Post by: Antibubba on April 22, 2008, 06:12:53 AM
Post by: charby on April 22, 2008, 06:32:46 AM
Post by: Ezekiel on April 22, 2008, 06:34:57 AM
Sindawe- Ah, no.
Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.
Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.
You mean like the movement that everyone should have a penis and it just makes everything swell?
Post by: 280plus on April 22, 2008, 06:55:45 AM
Post by: The Annoyed Man on April 22, 2008, 07:28:00 AM
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on April 22, 2008, 07:39:59 AM
Post by: Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas on April 22, 2008, 07:48:36 AM
Quote
You simply make it a law, and men worldwide would just voluntarily, without any fight, cut their penises off.
Do I get paid for this bit of community service?
Post by: Lennyjoe on April 22, 2008, 07:52:45 AM
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on April 22, 2008, 07:53:56 AM
Quote
You simply make it a law, and men worldwide would just voluntarily, without any fight, cut their penises off.
Do I get paid for this bit of community service?
You shouldn't need to. It's for the betterment of society. And it's the LAW.
Post by: Perd Hapley on April 22, 2008, 08:38:56 AM
Post by: 280plus on April 22, 2008, 08:57:22 AM
Post by: The Annoyed Man on April 22, 2008, 09:28:20 AM
"...from my cold, dead fingers!"
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on April 22, 2008, 10:12:17 AM
Post by: member1313 on April 22, 2008, 10:13:55 AM
Cannot believe I was the first to say it but
"...from my cold, dead fingers!"
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL"...from my cold, dead fingers!"
Post by: Balog on April 22, 2008, 02:25:19 PM
Post by: wmenorr67 on April 22, 2008, 02:27:15 PM
And when would the severing happen?
At birth or at an age when someone will know why it is happening.
Post by: Perd Hapley on April 22, 2008, 02:41:39 PM
Post by: Mabs2 on April 22, 2008, 03:04:12 PM
Post by: Perd Hapley on April 22, 2008, 07:52:14 PM
Post by: Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas on April 22, 2008, 08:20:26 PM
I cut off my penis ages ago. I don't really need it to pee (the pee tube is still there, just shorter) and I surely have never had any other need for it. Probably never will. Sold it on eBay for $33.21.
I love it when a catheter comes together.
Post by: bedlamite on April 24, 2008, 03:02:56 AM
http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSL2290323220080422
Quote
Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital
Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:21pm EDT
By Joe Bavier
KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.
Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.
Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.
"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.
"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said. Continued...
Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:21pm EDT
By Joe Bavier
KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.
Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.
Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.
"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.
"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said. Continued...
Post by: LadySmith on April 24, 2008, 03:24:18 AM
Quote
...sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
If I had the power to do this long distance, there are several Nigerian scammers I'd turn the tables on.
Post by: Mabs2 on April 24, 2008, 03:54:16 AM
If there's a spell to make things small, then...
Post by: mike on April 24, 2008, 06:09:01 AM
Where are they going to get all this sperm if we cut all our penis off?
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on April 24, 2008, 06:29:27 AM
Stop. Stop right now.
Hypothetically, think of the US gun controls laws. Think of the anti's thinking process. Is that well thought out? Do they pay attention to reality?
No.
Then why should I have to?
Just cut off your penis already.
As far as a source for sperm? That's easy....we can import it from other countries as part of a trade agreement. After all, we wouldn't want sperm stored in our backyard. That would be like, oh i dunno, those people that are against the war because it is "all about oil", yet don't want beautiful Alaska or Texas dug up for oil. Or the people that are against alternate neergy, like Nu-clear, or is that Nuke-ewe-lar, or windfarms....
I'd say that there would be a huge black market for it, but we all know that there wouldn't be. After all, once it became law, men would just voluntarily cut them off, right? I mean, it has worked so well in this country for everything else, and it will OBVIOUSLY work if they were to ban guns, so why not this.
I mean, look at drugs. They banned those years ago, and poof, just like that, drugs are gone.
Post by: RocketMan on April 24, 2008, 10:10:22 AM
Sindawe- Ah, no.
Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.
Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.
You mean like the movement that everyone should have a penis and it just makes everything swell?
Zeke, did you intentionally make that bad, bad, really bad, pun?
Post by: El Tejon on April 24, 2008, 10:42:36 AM
Quote
ALL MEN NEED TO CUT YOUR PENISES OFF
Hmmm, oddly, several ex-girlfriends have said the same thing, but addressed it to me specifically. Hmmmm.
Post by: SADShooter on April 24, 2008, 11:19:30 AM
Post by: Desertdog on April 24, 2008, 11:48:53 AM
Quote
Its for the children. If men didnt have a penis, the small percentage children being raped and molested would go to zilch. Disregard the other ways of forcibly violating someone, its not prudent to this conversation
Wrong, wrong, wrong. There has been several reported cases of convicted child molesters whom had more than just the penis removed, and they continued to molestchildren. It's all in the head, you know.
Post by: Sawdust on April 24, 2008, 12:12:20 PM
Quote
It's all in the head, you know.
Groan...
All your penises belong to us!
Sawdust
Post by: seeker_two on April 24, 2008, 02:37:13 PM
Quote
...sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
If I had the power to do this long distance, there are several Nigerian scammers I'd turn the tables on.If you had the power to do this long distance, this board would get awfully quiet....
Post by: Ezekiel on April 24, 2008, 03:02:22 PM
Sindawe- Ah, no.
Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.
Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.
You mean like the movement that everyone should have a penis and it just makes everything swell?
Zeke, did you intentionally make that bad, bad, really bad, pun?
Yes.
Thanks for noticing.
Post by: Phyphor on April 24, 2008, 05:01:32 PM
Quote
...sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
If I had the power to do this long distance, there are several Nigerian scammers I'd turn the tables on.Please, remind me to never make you angry!!!
Post by: LadySmith on April 24, 2008, 09:46:35 PM
If you had the power to do this long distance, this board would get awfully quiet....
Please, remind me to never make you angry!!!
Remind me never to wear my "Tactical Castration Squad" T-shirt around you guys. Might make you nervous.
Post by: Phyphor on April 25, 2008, 01:03:53 AM
Post by: seeker_two on April 25, 2008, 08:14:18 AM
If you had the power to do this long distance, this board would get awfully quiet....
Please, remind me to never make you angry!!!
Remind me never to wear my "Tactical Castration Squad" T-shirt around you guys. Might make you nervous.
Is it low-cut?.......
I think I just did a triple-entendre...
Post by: RocketMan on April 26, 2008, 08:46:52 AM
Sindawe- Ah, no.
Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.
Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.
You mean like the movement that everyone should have a penis and it just makes everything swell?
Zeke, did you intentionally make that bad, bad, really bad, pun?
Yes.
Thanks for noticing.I'm kinda' warped that way, noticing really bad puns and all.