Armed Polite Society

Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: HankB on March 29, 2012, 04:54:18 PM

Title: What a way to go!
Post by: HankB on March 29, 2012, 04:54:18 PM
A coffin for bacon lovers.

(http://media.king5.com/images/470*264/bacon_coffin.jpg)

Should this be the subject of a group buy for APS members concerned about the (hopefully) distant future?

http://store.baconsalt.com/Bacon-Coffin_p_118.html

http://www.king5.com/news/local/Bacon-Coffin-lets-bacon-lovers-die-AND-go-to-Heaven-144915135.html
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: charby on April 05, 2012, 11:40:05 AM
A guy in the pork capital, aka Iowa bought one

http://blogs.desmoinesregister.com/dmr/index.php/2012/04/04/des-moines-area-man-buys-bacon-coffin/
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: HankB on April 05, 2012, 01:27:43 PM
Would it be wrong of me to say that these should be used for any Gitmo detainees that happen to expire?
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: RevDisk on April 05, 2012, 01:35:31 PM
Would it be wrong of me to say that these should be used for any Gitmo detainees that happen to expire?

Yes, because a very large number of Gitmo detainees are released without any charges. Some of our allies are (gasp) not great folks and often sell us some random guy to get paid.

Basically, it wouldn't be wrong, as long as you wouldn't mind if I bashed you over the head, sold you to DurkaDurkaStan, said you were an evil filthy terrorist or enemy combatant or telemarketer, collected a nice bounty while you tried telling the DurkaDurkaStani soldiers (in English, which they don't speak) that you're certainly not a telemarketer, and you got buried in ... I dunno, a Hi Point themed casket.

Detained != guilty of squat.

Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: HankB on April 05, 2012, 01:48:29 PM
Yes, because a very large number of Gitmo detainees are released without any charges.
What about released detainees we catch later on because they're attacking us again? Can I put those in a bacon coffin?
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: Perd Hapley on April 05, 2012, 06:39:40 PM
Yes, because a very large number of Gitmo detainees are released without any charges. Some of our allies are (gasp) not great folks and often sell us some random guy to get paid.


Wrong. The detainees at Gitmo were all rounded up by Halliburton squads, who simply snatch any Muslim or brown-skinned person they see. They are never released; simply held indefinitely without charges. Plus, we burn their Korans.
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: seeker_two on April 05, 2012, 06:56:00 PM
Terrorists.....telemarketers....I'm not seeing a downside to this plan....
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: MechAg94 on April 05, 2012, 07:30:14 PM

Wrong. The detainees at Gitmo were all rounded up by Halliburton squads, who simply snatch any Muslim or brown-skinned person they see. They are never released; simply held indefinitely without charges. Plus, we burn their Korans.
Wow, those guys must be real lazy.  I see more of those people around Houston than they have in Gitmo, must less overseas.   =D
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: coppertales on April 05, 2012, 10:15:26 PM
When I get cremated, the wife agreed to throw in a pound of bacon......chris3
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: Fly320s on April 05, 2012, 10:43:35 PM
When I get cremated, the wife agreed to throw in a pound of bacon......chris3

Cooked, I hope, so you can enjoy it.
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: Tallpine on April 06, 2012, 02:13:45 AM
Terrorists.....telemarketers....I'm not seeing a downside to this plan....

... and people who talk in the theater.   :lol:
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: HankB on April 06, 2012, 09:31:22 AM
Wow, those guys must be real lazy.  I see more of those people around Houston than they have in Gitmo, must less overseas.   =D
They're crafty - they've learned that the best way to avoid being picked up is to pretend they only speak Spanish.
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: AJ Dual on April 06, 2012, 10:22:45 AM
I want my corpse to be saponified with lye.

And then have the resulting slurry be explosively distributed over the next/nearest congregation of leftists by a cold-gas bursting charge.
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: RevDisk on April 06, 2012, 10:25:49 AM
I want my corpse to be saponified with lye.

And then have the resulting slurry be explosively distributed over the next/nearest congregation of leftists by a cold-gas bursting charge.

No problem. Except "cold gas" might unfortunately be "insanely hot gas". And "leftists" might unfortunately be "hippies". 
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: seeker_two on April 06, 2012, 01:33:52 PM
I want my corpse to be saponified with lye.

And then have the resulting slurry be explosively distributed over the next/nearest congregation of leftists by a cold-gas bursting charge.

Crop duster would be more dramatic....
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: Fly320s on April 06, 2012, 04:46:56 PM
I want my corpse to be saponified with lye.

And then have the resulting slurry be explosively distributed over the next/nearest congregation of leftists by a cold-gas bursting charge.

Would you settle for being mixed into water and shot out of a firehouse at hippies during a Occupy Whatever event?
Title: Re: What a way to go!
Post by: AJ Dual on April 06, 2012, 04:59:05 PM
Would you settle for being mixed into water and shot out of a firehouse at hippies during a Occupy Whatever event?

If the main plan can't be realized. These are all relatively acceptable alternatives.

Although I've been thinking along the lines of making the whole thing more "personal". Each of my heirs get a photo and dossier of an intended target, a water balloon filled with my rendered remains, and the must successfully pelt and soak the target to inherit.