Armed Polite Society

Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: MechAg94 on October 02, 2019, 04:54:08 AM



Title: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 02, 2019, 04:54:08 AM
I saw a few stories on Babylon Bee that didn't fit any current discussion. 

https://babylonbee.com/news/survey-10-out-of-10-nazi-scientists-do-not-recommend-opening-the-ark-of-the-covenant
Survey: 10 Out Of 10 Nazi Scientists Do Not Recommend Opening The Ark Of The Covenant

Quote
At publishing time, they had also recommended against watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 02, 2019, 04:55:18 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/nations-civil-war-reenactors-been-waiting-for-this-moment-their-entire-lives
Nation's Civil War Reenactors Have Been Preparing For This Moment Their Entire Lives

Quote
U.S.ŚAfter Trump tweeted about a civil war, the nation's Civil War reenactors excitedly began mobilizing, reporting that they have been waiting for this exact moment their entire lives.

Quote
Unfortunately, Trump then tweeted, "Lol jk," making the reenactors sad. They say their time will still come at some point in the future however, and when it does, they'll be ready.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 02, 2019, 04:57:04 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-opens-first-restaurant-in-megachurch-foyer-still-closed-sundays
Chick-Fil-A Opens First Restaurant In Megachurch Foyer, Still Closed Sundays



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 02, 2019, 04:58:23 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-warn-we-have-only-12-years-left-until-they-change-the-dates-on-global-warming-again
Experts Warn We Have Only 12 Years Left Until They Change The Timeline On Global Warming Again


Quote
"Should we not change our ways, our old predictions will melt, dangerously raising the chance of us having to move the goalposts again," said Al Gore. "Do you really want me to write another book, film another movie, and go on another tour in my private jet just because you dingbats couldn't be bothered to alter your lifestyles? I don't think so. Let's all get on board with this 12-year figure, or we'll have to push back the date again."


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Mike Irwin on October 02, 2019, 05:27:30 AM
Opening chick filet stores in church lobbies would work  For them as a business move if they opened and 7th day Adventist churches.

O, waitů

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Fly320s on October 02, 2019, 05:29:15 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-warn-we-have-only-12-years-left-until-they-change-the-dates-on-global-warming-again
Experts Warn We Have Only 12 Years Left Until They Change The Timeline On Global Warming Again



That is a winner.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 02, 2019, 06:29:05 AM
Opening chick filet stores in church lobbies would work  For them as a business move if they opened and 7th day Adventist churches.

O, waitů

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
The larger Churches would have better parking.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on October 02, 2019, 07:01:29 AM
The larger Churches would have better parking.

Two words: drive through.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 02, 2019, 07:33:27 AM
Two words: drive through.

Have you seen the Chick-fil-A drive through?  They disrupt traffic all around them due to the number cars in line or those waiting to get in line.  That is the case down here at least.  Even at off times like mid-afternoon, the lines can be long.  They often are efficient and move the cars through pretty fast, but the lines are still long.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: cordex on October 02, 2019, 07:37:42 AM
Have you seen the Chick-fil-A drive through?  They disrupt traffic all around them due to the number cars in line or those waiting to get in line.  That is the case down here at least.  Even at off times like mid-afternoon, the lines can be long.  They often are efficient and move the cars through pretty fast, but the lines are still long.
Yep.  They added a second drive through line at the local store, plus have four people outside taking orders on tablets, and another person outside the window handing things over faster.

Still a long line.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on October 02, 2019, 09:46:35 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/saudi-arabia-closes-down-new-chick-fil-a-location-for-disappointing-lack-of-homophobia

Since I joined their headline forum, I can't always remember which ones made it to the public side. Somewhere there was a line about one of the pres. candidates promising, if elected president, they'd impeach Trump.   :lol:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: 230RN on October 02, 2019, 10:03:06 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-opens-first-restaurant-in-megachurch-foyer-still-closed-sundays
Chick-Fil-A Opens First Restaurant In Megachurch Foyer, Still Closed Sundays

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Mike Irwin on October 03, 2019, 05:17:29 PM
The larger Churches would have better parking.

7th Day Adventists hold their services on Saturdays.

The problem with this particular business model is, however, that many 7th Day Adventists are vegetarians/vegans.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Doggy Daddy on October 03, 2019, 06:20:05 PM
7th Day Adventists hold their services on Saturdays.

The problem with this particular business model is, however, that many 7th Day Adventists are vegetarians/vegans.

So, tofucken sammiches.  (pronounced toe foo kin, oh ye of filthy minds)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 06, 2019, 06:41:32 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/unable-to-compete-with-reality-babylon-bee-founder-starts-real-news-site
Unable To Compete With Reality, Babylon Bee Founder Starts Real News Site




Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Hawkmoon on October 06, 2019, 06:51:56 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-registry-allows-engaged-sex-couples-choose-christian-florist-put-business


https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-it-may-be-too-late-to-halt-climate-change-town-hall-on-cnn


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 06, 2019, 01:11:08 PM
Quote
At publishing time, experts were revising their predictions, claiming that future climate change town halls could still be avoided if everyone followed the climate change advocatesĺ advice to ôdo as we say, not as we do.ö


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: French G. on October 06, 2019, 06:35:06 PM
I couldn't figure out why I liked the Bee so much, took me a long time to realize the guy behind it was Frank Fleming of imao.us nuke the moon fame. I loved that site.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Hawkmoon on October 07, 2019, 01:09:06 AM
I couldn't figure out why I liked the Bee so much, took me a long time to realize the guy behind it was Frank Fleming of imao.us nuke the moon fame. I loved that site.

 ???

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Babylon_Bee

Quote
The Babylon Bee was created by Adam Ford and was launched on March 1, 2016. In 2018, Ford sold the website to Seth Dillon, ôa successful businessman who uses his resources for Kingdom purposes." In a public announcement published on his personal website, Ford cited several reasons for the sale, including his discomfort with the power wielded by social media companies like Facebook over creators and their perceived anti-conservative and anti-Christian bias. He wrote that "Facebook has the power to kill publishers, and they do, not only based on publishing techniques, but based on worldview. Just think about that.ö

At the time of the website's sale, Kyle Mann, who had been head writer since September 2016, became editor in chief. In 2019, Ethan Nicolle, creator of Axe Cop, was brought on as Creative Director.

I don't see any mention of Frank Fleming.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Hawkmoon on October 07, 2019, 01:17:34 AM
Speaking of the Babylon Bee ...

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-gun-debate-flash-cards-get-you-through-arguments-with-speed-and-efficiency

Order your cards now so you'll be sure to have them when the anti-gun relatives come over for Thanksgiving dinner.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: brimic on October 07, 2019, 03:22:15 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/unable-to-compete-with-reality-babylon-bee-founder-starts-real-news-site


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 07, 2019, 05:55:54 AM
Speaking of the Babylon Bee ...

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-gun-debate-flash-cards-get-you-through-arguments-with-speed-and-efficiency

Order your cards now so you'll be sure to have them when the anti-gun relatives come over for Thanksgiving dinner.
They should print those on playing cards so we can have gun debate poker night.  

Or put the gun debate for/against on two suites and the abortion debate on the other two.  Guaranteed to liven up a party and make sure everyone goes home friends.   =D


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 07, 2019, 12:44:20 PM
This one may just deserve its own thread.

https://babylonbee.com/news/un-warns-climate-change-will-destroy-earth-by-2005
UN Warns Climate Change Will Destroy Earth By 2005

Quote
When several scientific researchers pointed out that 2005 came and went 13 years ago, they were informed that the earth was actually destroyed, everybody was killed, and we are all actually ghosts.

"Every person on the planet is now a spirit who was killed over a decade ago by climate change," said a UN spokesperson. "And anyone who does not believe this will be labeled a ghost science denier."


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on October 07, 2019, 04:17:19 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-worried-if-impeachment-fails-theyll-have-to-nominate-electable-candidate

Nah . . . it'll never happen . . .


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 08, 2019, 04:58:25 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-criticized-for-breaking-longstanding-american-tradition-of-remaining-in-middle-eastern-countries-indefinitely
Trump Criticized For Breaking With Longstanding American Tradition Of Remaining In Middle Eastern Countries Indefinitely

Quote
"Occupying a country on the other side of the globe and staying there forever is an American pastime," said a CNN host. "For Trump to pull out when we haven't even been there a decade yet is a disgusting display of his selfishness and unwillingness to conform to the standards of presidential decorum."

"Has he no respect for our ways of life?" the host concluded gravely.

Quote
In a rare moment of unity, pundits on Fox News agreed. "We just need another 20 or 30 years in Syria, and we can accomplish our goals," said a morning host on the right-leaning news station. "He didn't even really give our soldiers a chance to settle in."

Quote
"This is America, for goodness' sakeŚland of the free and home of messing with other countries' affairs. I don't like criticizing the president, but he's way off on this one," he added.

:laugh:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 08, 2019, 11:16:36 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/al-gore-predicts-massive-apocalypse-if-billions-are-not-spent-on-his-books-films

Al Gore Predicts Massive Apocalypse If Billions Are Not Spent On His Books, Films

Quote
Several scientists on the panel agreed wholeheartedly with Goreĺs assessment. ôThe evidence is irrefutable,ö said Dr. Sufjan Swami of Johns Hopkins University. ôTo not buy Alĺs books and movies at a time like this is tantamount to treason.ö Various experts on the panel all agreed that it was time for all countries and communities to come together and commit all of their resources to the purchase of Al Goreĺs books and movies.

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-3161-art5bbf9ca885e10.jpg)
Here is a graph so you know it is sciency.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on October 08, 2019, 11:46:06 AM
I can just see Gavin Newsom reading this and thinking, "Hmmm . . . ."

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-law-would-force-drivers-to-listen-to-greta-thunberg-lecture-before-filling-up-their-cars


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on October 08, 2019, 11:51:19 AM
???

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Babylon_Bee

I don't see any mention of Frank Fleming.


Frank Fleming writes a lot of their stuff. If you people would listen to the BB podcast, you'd know this.  ;/  :P


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Ben on October 08, 2019, 12:40:07 PM
I can just see Gavin Newsom reading this and thinking, "Hmmm . . . ."

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-law-would-force-drivers-to-listen-to-greta-thunberg-lecture-before-filling-up-their-cars


I would normally insert an LOL emoticon here, but sadly, it is too close to potential reality. Much like with pollution controls, CA could insist all cars must come with a screeching Greta Thunberg recording that runs every time you start your car. The transmission is locked out until the recording finishes.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 08, 2019, 01:33:35 PM
I would normally insert an LOL emoticon here, but sadly, it is too close to potential reality. Much like with pollution controls, CA could insist all cars must come with a screeching Greta Thunberg recording that runs every time you start your car. The transmission is locked out until the recording finishes.
The Cali DMV may require you to listen to a Greta sermon before leaving you alone.   =)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Ben on October 08, 2019, 02:19:19 PM
The Cali DMV may require you to listen to a Greta sermon before leaving you alone.   =)

 :lol:

I think they finally got the hint. I haven't received any more notices. Though I guess the test will be when the vehicles would have come up for renewal next year.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on October 08, 2019, 03:39:46 PM
This has the potential to become a very long thread:

https://babylonbee.com/news/radical-far-right-library-just-has-books-no-drag-queens



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 08, 2019, 04:33:07 PM
This has the potential to become a very long thread:

https://babylonbee.com/news/radical-far-right-library-just-has-books-no-drag-queens


:laugh:

I think you may be right. 


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 09, 2019, 05:29:04 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/hilary-clinton-announces-she-will-seek-re-election-as-president-of-the-united-states
Hillary Clinton Announces She Will Seek Reelection As President Of The United States

Quote
"After much deliberation, consultation, and prayer to Moloch, I have decided that I will seek a second term," she said to a crowd gathered at a local Wendy's restaurant. "I feel I haven't accomplished everything I wanted to in my first term, and I really need a full eight years to implement my final solution to all of America's problems."



And the final punch line.
Quote
"Orange man bad! Orange man bad!" she chanted at one heckler, though the heckler turned out to be a Wendy's worker asking if she wanted the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger 4 for $4 or the chicken sandwich one.

Aides then gently ushered her back onto the bus to take her back to Bright Sunrise Home For Seniors


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 09, 2019, 05:30:45 AM
https://summit.news/2019/10/09/hillary-teases-2020-run-obviously-i-can-beat-him-again/
Hillary Teases 2020 Run: ôObviously I Can Beat Him Againö

This is not fake news as far as I can tell.



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: TommyGunn on October 09, 2019, 09:12:18 AM
Hillary seems more deluded than usual. 


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 10, 2019, 07:26:46 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/progressive-parents-sit-their-kids-down-for-talk-about-the-birds-and-the-bees-and-the-birds-who-want-to-become-bees-and-the-bees-who-identify-as-birds-and-buckle-up-kids-this-might-take-a-while
Progressive Parents Sit Their Kid Down For Talk About The Birds And The Bees And The Birds Who Want To Become Bees And The Bees Who Identify As Birds And Buckle Up, This Might Take A While

Quote
Molly Harper patted their daughter on the back. "What your father's trying to say is that, well, the birds and the bees... and, well, let's not leave out the birds who want to become bees, and the bees who identify as birds! Maybe we'd better start there and then we'll circle back to the cisspecies birds and bees."

Quote
16 hours later, they'd gotten a good halfway through "the talk" and decided to leave the discussion about birds having surgeries when they're still hatchlings to become bees until the following day.
:laugh:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 10, 2019, 11:48:58 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-declares-clocks-will-fall-back-to-2017-this-year-granting-him-extra-time-in-office
Trump Declares Clocks Will Fall Back To 2017 This Year Granting Him Extra Time In Office

If only we could get Trump to retweet this.  The left's reaction would be so much fun. 

Quote
As Trump made the announcement, protesters gathered outside the White House to scream at the sky. Again.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 15, 2019, 05:25:01 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/was-that-video-of-trump-shooting-various-news-outlets-in-the-face-doctored-an-in-depth-analysis
Was That Video Of Trump Shooting His Political Foes In The Face Doctored? An In-Depth Analysis

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4966-art5da4f79d35dd8.jpg)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: brimic on October 15, 2019, 09:06:08 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/was-that-video-of-trump-shooting-various-news-outlets-in-the-face-doctored-an-in-depth-analysis
Was That Video Of Trump Shooting His Political Foes In The Face Doctored? An In-Depth Analysis

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4966-art5da4f79d35dd8.jpg)


Its almost as if they made it their mission to mock snopes. :rofl:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 15, 2019, 10:11:00 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/we-are-living-in-a-totalitarian-nightmare-says-protester-freely-without-any-fear-of-government-retribution
'We Are Living In A Totalitarian Nightmare,' Says Protester Freely Without Any Fear Of Government Retribution

Quote
The woman drew on her guaranteed free speech rights to state that "this government is like something out of a totalitarian dystopia," as police stood by guarding to ensure her and her fellow protesters' right to protest was protected.

Quote
At publishing time, she told reporters she would love to draw further comparisons to dystopian fiction novels other than The Handmaid's Tale, but she hadn't read any.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 16, 2019, 07:17:36 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-smart-doorbell-will-argue-with-jehovahs-witnesses-for-you
New Smart Doorbell Will Argue With Jehovah's Witnesses, LDS Missionaries For You

Quote
The device can also be set to Evangelist Mode, which explains the ôRomans Roadö to visitors and leads food delivery drivers in the sinnerĺs prayer before payment is made.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on October 18, 2019, 07:00:15 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/police-keep-antifa-away-columbus-statues-taping-job-applications-onto



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on October 18, 2019, 12:12:13 PM
(https://i.redd.it/ff30pdx483t31.jpg)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 18, 2019, 04:53:47 PM
 :laugh:


Title: Open-Minded Programmer Only Works In Non-Binary Code
Post by: MechAg94 on October 20, 2019, 01:34:47 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/open-minded-programmer-works-non-binary-code
Open-Minded Programmer Only Works In Non-Binary Code

Quote
ôI can no longer in good conscience turn a blind eye to the oppressive systemic abuse of power that excludes bits who donĺt identify as either Ĺ1ĺ or Ĺ0ĺ,ö he said. ôTo demand that a marginalized digital bit identify with a number foisted upon it by a harmful system created by white males is extremely problematic. Code is a social construct.ö

Notice that this story is 2 years old.  I am not sure if that is a good or bad sign of where we are headed. 


Title: Trump Vows To Cut Foreign Aid To California
Post by: MechAg94 on October 20, 2019, 01:51:37 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-vows-to-cut-foreign-aid-to-california
Trump Vows To Cut Foreign Aid To California

Quote
Though this means no money for California for now, Trump has earmarked some money for California to help any pro-democracy movement within the state. So far none has emerged.


Title: Re: Trump Vows To Cut Foreign Aid To California
Post by: RocketMan on October 20, 2019, 03:30:19 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-vows-to-cut-foreign-aid-to-california
Trump Vows To Cut Foreign Aid To California

Quote
Though this means no money for California for now, Trump has earmarked some money for California to help any pro-democracy movement within the state. So far none has emerged.

 :rofl: :rofl:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 20, 2019, 06:11:42 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/american-heart-association-sued-discrimination-trans-fats
American Heart Association Sued For Discrimination Against Trans Fats

Quote
ôThe AHA frequently employs phrases such as, Ĺreducing trans fat in your diet helps reduce risk of heart disease,ĺ Ĺtrans fats raise your bad (LDL) cholesterol levels and lower your good (HDL) cholesterol levels,ĺ Ĺeating trans fats increases your risk of developing heart disease and stroke, and is also associated with a higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes,ĺ an ACLU spokesman explained. ôTheir nutritional guidelines are blatantly transphobic.ö


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 20, 2019, 07:48:02 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/washington-post-article-on-evils-of-capitalism-hidden-behind-paywall
Washington Post Article On Evils Of Capitalism Hidden Behind Paywall

No article.  Link just has that headline.   =D


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Doggy Daddy on October 20, 2019, 08:09:00 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/washington-post-article-on-evils-of-capitalism-hidden-behind-paywall
Washington Post Article On Evils Of Capitalism Hidden Behind Paywall

No article.  Link just has that headline.   =D

Pretty sure Hawkmoon is having a meltdown.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on October 21, 2019, 09:50:26 AM
Pretty sure Hawkmoon is having a meltdown.


 :lol:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on October 21, 2019, 03:37:29 PM
Currently listening to the BB podcast while in a Chick-fil-a drive-through. I'm pretty sure that's grounds for sainthood.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: RocketMan on October 21, 2019, 04:02:08 PM
Currently listening to the BB podcast while in a Chick-fil-a drive-through. I'm pretty sure that's grounds for sainthood.

Saint Fistful.  Scary thought. :O


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on October 21, 2019, 07:10:13 PM
Or at the very least, I now know for sure I'm among the elect.  :angel:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 22, 2019, 04:45:54 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/amazing-this-mind-reader-can-instantly-guess-peoples-pronouns-with-999-accuracy
Amazing: This Mind-Reader Can Instantly Guess People's Pronouns With 99.9% Accuracy

Quote
Maybe scientists can study how he does that and make a pill or something so the rest of us have that ability. If we were all that quick and that accurate at knowing each otherĺs pronouns, almost no one would have to announce their pronouns upon first meeting someone. Think of that futuristic utopia!


Title: Groundbreaking Pew Research Study
Post by: MechAg94 on October 23, 2019, 11:28:17 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-extensive-pew-research-study-finds-100-of-pews-uncomfortable
Groundbreaking Pew Research Study Finds Pews Are Uncomfortable


Title: Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball
Post by: MechAg94 on October 23, 2019, 11:34:15 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-identifying-6-year-old-crushes-game-winning-homer-tee-ball-championship
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship


Quote
His team, the Lilĺ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.

Quote
Ripleyĺs feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.


Title: Tim Tebow Suspended For Using Performance-Enhancing Bible Verses
Post by: MechAg94 on October 23, 2019, 11:38:11 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/tim-tebow-suspended-for-using-performance-enhancing-bible-verses
Tim Tebow Suspended For Using Performance-Enhancing Bible Verses

Quote
ôThe league has a zero-tolerance policy on Bible verses that inspire and encourage a player to do his best and play for the glory of God, and thus bestow an unfair advantage,ö league investigator Mack Columbeau said in a press conference. ôWe will be looking into this matter objectively and completely before rendering a final judgment on Mr. Tebow. If he has violated league policy, heĺll be punished appropriately.ö

"Oh, Mr. Tebow I have just one more question......."   =D


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 23, 2019, 11:54:49 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/migrant-caravan-mysteriously-disappears-but-leaves-behind-cool-wooden-horse
Migrant Caravan Mysteriously Disappears But Leaves Behind Cool Wooden Horse

Quote
U.S./MEXICO BORDERŚThe migrant caravan headed for the U.S. has been the center of much controversy, but the problem seems to have solved itself, as the entire caravan has mysteriously disappeared.

In other, unrelated, good news, there's now a really cool-looking giant wooden horse sitting right at the U.S. border, fresh for the taking.

This is just funny.  You have to read the short story on this one.   :laugh:

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-3220-1.jpg)


Title: Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record
Post by: MechAg94 on October 27, 2019, 05:57:47 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/motorcycle-that-identifies-as-bicycle-sets-world-cycling-record
Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record

I wonder if this was Jamis.

Quote
Banner also said he painted the word "HUFFY" on the side of his bike, ensuring he has no advantage over the bikes that came out of the factory as bicycles.

Some critics say he needs to cut off his motor in order to make the competition fairer, but he quickly called these people bigots, and they were immediately banned from professional cycle racing.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Ben on October 28, 2019, 06:14:57 PM
Damn dog.

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-uncovers-evidence-hero-dog-sniffed-butts


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 28, 2019, 06:26:40 PM
I was just about that add that.   =D


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Hawkmoon on October 28, 2019, 06:43:31 PM
Damn dog.

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-uncovers-evidence-hero-dog-sniffed-butts

Quote
He identified as pansniffual.

I need a new keyboard, and a windscreen wiper for my monitor.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: RoadKingLarry on November 01, 2019, 04:46:53 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-surprised-to-learn-beto-orourke-was-running-for-president?fbclid=IwAR2SzhWDkojTCBxkLA7wpwA0wZtQAiBCZuFxK4z31f2kupWdi8Sm5CI4FPc (https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-surprised-to-learn-beto-orourke-was-running-for-president?fbclid=IwAR2SzhWDkojTCBxkLA7wpwA0wZtQAiBCZuFxK4z31f2kupWdi8Sm5CI4FPc)

 :rofl: :rofl:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on November 02, 2019, 07:17:08 AM

https://babylonbee.com/news/texas-luring-jobs-away-from-california-with-promises-of-electricity



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on November 05, 2019, 05:39:54 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-installs-confession-booths-so-you-can-admit-to-eating-at-popeyes
Chick-Fil-A Installs Confessionals So You Can Repent From Eating At Popeyes

Quote
"Bless me, assistant manager, for I have sinned," one contrite patron said to a smiling Chick-fil-A employee as she entered the booth. "It has been 3 weeks since my last Chick-fil-A meal and confession."



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Unisaw on November 05, 2019, 03:23:38 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/millennial-wishes-there-were-previous-examples-of-socialism-we-could-look-at-to-have-some-idea-how-it-might-turn-out

I feel like posting this on the bulletin board at work!


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on November 08, 2019, 09:21:46 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/flannelgraph-story-running-at-abysmal-1-frame-per-second


Title: Slain Trump Balloon Rises Again Three Days Later
Post by: MechAg94 on November 13, 2019, 06:22:56 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/knifed-trump-balloon-rises-again-three-days-later
Slain Trump Balloon Rises Again Three Days Later

Quote
TUSCALOOSA, ALŚThe famous big baby Trump balloon was stabbed to death in Tuscaloosa over the weekend.

Followers mourned its death. But when some women came to pay their respects to the downed balloon three days later, they were shocked to find the balloon was rising again.

"It's a miracle!" cried awed onlookers as the balloon slowly began to reinflate itself and ascend into the heavens. "Just as it was prophesied!"

"Go, therefore, and make America great again," the balloon said. "And behold, I will be with you always. Or at least for another seven or eight terms."

The balloon rose and rose until it disappeared from sight, hidden by the clouds.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on November 13, 2019, 06:55:53 AM
Some days I feel like this.

https://babylonbee.com/news/church-introvert-dons-do-not-greet-medical-bracelet
Church Introvert Dons 'Do Not Greet' Medical Bracelet

Quote
LAS CRUCES, NMŚLocal church introvert Denny Patterson got dressed for church Sunday morning, grabbed his Bible, and slapped on his new "Do Not Greet" medical bracelet, a helpful visual reminder for other parishioners and members of the welcome team not to talk to him at all.

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-3332-1.jpg)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Fly320s on November 13, 2019, 07:35:28 AM
Kinda related thread veer.

I just recently learned that my airline does not follow DNR orders for passengers.  So, if you don't want to be revived, don't drop nearly-dead on my plane. 


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Mike Irwin on November 13, 2019, 07:45:12 AM
"Some days I feel like this."

Some days?

Wow, aren't you the social *expletive deleted*ing butterfly...  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on November 13, 2019, 02:28:30 PM
Some days I feel like this.

https://babylonbee.com/news/church-introvert-dons-do-not-greet-medical-bracelet
Church Introvert Dons 'Do Not Greet' Medical Bracelet

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-3332-1.jpg)

They sell "Do Not Greet" wristbands in their web store. I got one for a friend of mine at church.  :lol:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on November 13, 2019, 05:08:07 PM
"Some days I feel like this."

Some days?

Wow, aren't you the social *expletive deleted*ing butterfly...  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
What they need is "Do Not Hug" wrist bands.   =)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on December 06, 2019, 09:30:26 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/rise-of-skywalker-to-introduce-first-lesbian-at-at

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-5242-1.jpg)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on December 06, 2019, 10:53:27 AM
So what happens when a male snowspeeder tries to wrap cables around its legs?


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on December 06, 2019, 10:58:00 AM
Depends on whether it's consensual.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Doggy Daddy on December 07, 2019, 09:12:54 AM
So what happens when a male snowspeeder tries to wrap cables around its legs?

Obviously, it will scissor the cables and set itself free.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Fly320s on December 07, 2019, 10:15:14 AM
Obviously, it will scissor the cables and set itself free.

You owe me a new ipad.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on December 08, 2019, 08:13:03 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/hi-mr-kaepernick-this-is-the-detroit-lions-says-giggling-trump-on-yet-another-prank-call-to-colin-kaepernick



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Doggy Daddy on December 10, 2019, 06:06:44 AM
You owe me a new ipad.

Yeah, you just keep watching under your Christmas tree.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on December 10, 2019, 09:43:17 PM

https://babylonbee.com/news/rian-johnson-to-direct-mr-rogers-sequel-where-hes-just-bitter-old-man-who-doesnt-believe-in-all-that-be-kind-to-your-neighbor-crap-anymore



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: RoadKingLarry on December 11, 2019, 06:02:19 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/rian-johnson-to-direct-mr-rogers-sequel-where-hes-just-bitter-old-man-who-doesnt-believe-in-all-that-be-kind-to-your-neighbor-crap-anymore



It's like looking in a mirror
 :rofl:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 06, 2020, 07:04:42 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/san-franciscos-dogs-begin-bagging-people-poop
San Francisco Dogs Begin Bagging People Poop

Quote
The dogs have begun putting signs up around the city reading things like, "Please Pick Up After Your Owner" and "If Your Human Poops, You Scoop."

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-5056-1.jpg)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 06, 2020, 07:05:35 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/opinion-trump-is-doing-the-right-thing-but-hes-still-doing-it-as-trump-which-makes-it-bad
Opinion: Trump Is Doing The Right Thing, But Heĺs Doing It As Trump, Which Means Itĺs Still Bad

Quote
Itĺs clear that Trump canĺt do anything right because he will stubbornly insist on being Trump while doing it. Thatĺs why he must resignŚthough I will then criticize him for abandoning the country in our time of need.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 06, 2020, 07:06:51 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/california-robber-agrees-to-wait-10-days-for-victims-gun-purchase-to-go-through
California Robber Agrees To Come Back In 10 Days When Victim's Gun Purchase Has Gone Through

Quote
"You know what? You're right -- it's not fair for me to do this when you have to wait 10 days to protect yourself. How about this -- I'll go rob some other peeps and hit you up later once your gun is in?"

The robber also agreed that when he comes back, he will wait for the man to go get his gun, unlock it, get the separately stored ammo, and load the firearm, "just so that it's a fair fight."


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 06, 2020, 11:47:03 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/anti-wall-extremist-the-kool-aid-man-leads-campaign-against-trump
Anti-Wall Extremist The Kool-Aid Man Leads Campaign Against Trump

Quote
The Kool-Aid Man did not mince words in his new campaign against Trump, though. When asked if the president should be impeached, he had a simple response.

ôOh yeah!ö

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-3548-1.jpg)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 09, 2020, 05:50:36 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/church-greeters-stationed-at-southern-border-to-deter-immigrants
Church Greeters Stationed At Southern Border To Deter Immigrants


Quote
"Studies have shown that overzealous church greeters can prevent illegal crossings 422% more effectively than a traditional, solid barrier," said a US Border Patrol agent. "When illegal aliens see the happy church volunteers trying to chase them down and ask about their week, they're sure to flee many miles away so their personal space isn't violated by the notoriously extroverted church staffers again."

The plan will reportedly also include stations with extremely watered-down coffee to discourage the immigrants from entering any further.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 09, 2020, 05:52:02 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/more-unborn-babies-disguising-themselves-as-baby-yoda-so-their-liberal-parents-wont-abort-them
More Unborn Babies Disguising Themselves As Baby Yoda To Avoid Being Aborted
Quote
When pro-choicers saw the Baby Yodas in their sonograms, they instantly dropped their support for abortion, saying they couldn't bear to harm such an adorable little guy.

"Awwwww he's so cute!" one Portland progressive pregnant woman said. "I couldn't possibly end the beating heart of this little man."

Quote
Bounty hunters across the country also vowed to protect the unborn after the disguises were in place.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 09, 2020, 05:52:45 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/driver-allowed-access-to-carpool-lane-since-preferred-pronoun-is-they
Man Driving Alone In Carpool Lane Informs Officer His Preferred Pronoun Is 'They'




Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on January 09, 2020, 07:16:45 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/driver-allowed-access-to-carpool-lane-since-preferred-pronoun-is-they
Man Driving Alone In Carpool Lane Informs Officer His Preferred Pronoun Is 'They'

I'm just pondering whether that would work in California.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 09, 2020, 11:07:47 AM
I'm just pondering whether that would work in California.

If you get an officer with a sense of humor, it may at least get you a warning.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 10, 2020, 05:46:55 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-libertarian-convert-asks-ron-paul-into-his-heart
New Libertarian Convert Asks Ron Paul Into His Heart

Quote
At publishing time, the man had committed to tithe 10% of his cryptocurrency and precious metals to The Ron Paul Institute for Peace and Prosperity, and made a solemn vow never rest until every human being on earth had heard the good news of libertarianism.
=D


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on January 10, 2020, 07:48:42 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/journalists-caution-against-assigning-empire-all-the-blame-for-blowing-up-alderaan


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on January 22, 2020, 02:24:45 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/greta-thunberg-sent-down-garbage-chute-after-demanding-willy-wonka-end-harmful-carbon-emissions-now



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on January 24, 2020, 05:21:49 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/report-more-unborn-babies-in-new-york-identifying-as-convicted-criminals-so-they-cant-legally-be-executed
Report: More Unborn Babies In New York Identifying As Convicted Criminals So They Can't Legally Be Executed


Quote
State leaders were blindsided by the strategy and aren't sure whether they should restrict abortion or rescind the ban on capital punishment. "We're definitely in a bit of a pickle," Governor Andrew Cuomo said. "We must respect these babies' chosen identities as serial killers, and we obviously can't perform a lethal injection on a serial killer."

"That would just be inhumane," he added, shaking his head.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on January 27, 2020, 09:40:19 AM
https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bee-purchases-competing-satire-site-cnn-for-12-billion

Snopes says "mostly true"


Title: Visa Offers New Dave Ramsey Credit Card With Credit Limit Of Zero
Post by: MechAg94 on January 30, 2020, 11:57:04 AM
Visa Offers New Dave Ramsey Credit Card With Credit Limit Of Zero
https://babylonbee.com/news/visa-offers-new-dave-ramsey-credit-card-credit-limit-zero
Quote
ôWhatĺs great about the official Dave Ramsey card is that it always gets declined,ö Ramsey said on his radio program. ôTry to buy a new fishing reel? Declined. Try to book a family vacation you canĺt afford? Declined. Replace a shredded tire you failed to budget for? Yup, you guessed itŚdeclined.ö
:laugh:

Quote
According to Ramsey, the new card also offers rewards points, giving 0% back on all food and gas purchases and 0% back when used and declined for purchases at online retailers like Amazon and eBay.
:rofl:
(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-736.jpg)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on January 30, 2020, 03:41:19 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-announces-daily-two-minutes-hate-segment

(some would say it lasts a lot longer than two minutes)

Quote
"Repeat after me: Trump voters are sheep!"

"Trump voters are sheep," viewers mumbled obediently.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on February 02, 2020, 05:21:08 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/iowa-prepares-to-matter


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on February 17, 2020, 10:47:47 AM
I saw this at lunch and thought it was just hilarious for some reason.  Very sacreligious. 

New Political Bible Adds (R) Or (D) After Each Character's Name
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-political-bible-adds-r-or-d-after-each-characters-name

Quote
"Obviously, right off the bat, God is followed by an R, while the serpent is followed by a D," the project's chief editor, Dr. Gary Leyland, told reporters. "Those ones are easy. Some of the other characters are a little tougher, as we have little written evidence of their modern American political ideology. But we can usually figure it out with context. For instance, if a character works a lot and is rich, they're a Republican. If a character is poor and wears sandals, definitely Democrat. Except for Jesus."

Quote
"The weird characters no one likes are probably libertarians."


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on February 19, 2020, 08:08:35 AM
Good article attached to this one...

https://babylonbee.com/news/police-officer-claims-he-feared-for-his-life-when-he-shot-familys-roomba
Police Officer Claims He Feared For His Life After Shooting Family's Roomba To Death

Quote
Now the officer claims he feared for his life when he was "aggressively approached" by the automated vacuum device.

"I feared for my life, and that is why I unloaded approximately 11 rounds into the dangerous, aggressive robot vacuum," he said in a press conference. "You don't always have time to accurately assess all threats when you are in a life-and-death situation like that. Police officer safety is our number one priority when we're out in the field."

"Uh, I mean, other than your safety, of course," he quickly added.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on February 23, 2020, 07:27:40 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/popular-new-noah-diet-has-you-eat-two-of-every-animal-at-every-meal
Popular New 'Noah Diet' Has You Eat Two Of Every Animal At Every Meal

Quote
The diet calls for adherents to eat two of every animal at every meal. While some complain the price would add up on all that meat, Embry says, "you can't put a price on good health." Embry is also developing new Noah milkshakes that contain two of every animal blended together in one delicious, easy-to-prepare smoothie. "We're also working on a jerky line," Embry told reporters.

A link for the next time you meet a vegetarian.   =D


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Hawkmoon on February 23, 2020, 07:56:22 PM
Good article attached to this one...

https://babylonbee.com/news/police-officer-claims-he-feared-for-his-life-when-he-shot-familys-roomba
Police Officer Claims He Feared For His Life After Shooting Family's Roomba To Death


Quote

At publishing time, an investigation had revealed that Officer Nimitz was in the entirely wrong house in the first place, with the correct address being over five miles away.



Title: CNN Purchases Industrial-Sized Washing Machine To Spin News Before Publication
Post by: MechAg94 on February 24, 2020, 12:29:20 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-purchases-industrial-sized-washing-machine-spin-news-publication
CNN Purchases Industrial-Sized Washing Machine To Spin News Before Publication


Snopes actually fact checked this:
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/cnn-washing-machine/
Did CNN Purchase an Industrial-Sized Washing Machine to Spin News?
Quote
Labeled Satire

 :rofl:


Title: Re: CNN Purchases Industrial-Sized Washing Machine To Spin News Before Publication
Post by: Ben on February 24, 2020, 12:43:04 PM
Snopes actually fact checked this:



I am continually amazed at what Snopes has become. They are broken people.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: 230RN on February 24, 2020, 10:34:56 PM
Re CNN's washing machine...

I'm no fan of Snopes, but I suspect it was the dozens, if not hundreds, of broken people who hit Snopes to check out the story who made them enter it as an item.

Either that, or Snopes has a sense of humor, too.

Terry


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on February 26, 2020, 07:10:54 PM
Grizzly Bear Shatters All Pro Wrestling Records After Identifying As Human
https://babylonbee.com/news/grizzly-bear-shatters-pro-wrestling-records-after-identifying-as-a-human

Quote
ôThe Grizzly has stated that his preferred pronouns are he/him/human and so we are going to respect that,ö said A.J. Styles, wincing in pain as doctors attempted to realign his spine Ś another victim of the Grizzlyĺs punishment.

There was a link to this bear survival book with the article. 
https://www.amazon.com/Bears-Want-Kill-Ethan-Nicolle/dp/B07R9TQYT6/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/619ANKRoUML.jpg)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on March 01, 2020, 07:33:59 PM
Heroic Trump Saves Indian Woman From Sniper's Bullet Aimed Directly At Her Forehead
https://babylonbee.com/news/heroic-trump-saves-indian-woman-from-snipers-bullet-aimed-directly-at-her-forehead
Quote
While everyone else wasn't observant enough to notice the targeting dot planted right on her forehead, Trump's famed observational skills and reaction time saved the day.

(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-5654-2.jpg)

Quote
At publishing time, Trump had saved hundreds more women from would-be assassins all across the land.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on March 12, 2020, 06:25:17 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/coronavirus-passes-over-houses-with-cfa-sauce

I knew it . . . I knew it . . .


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: TommyGunn on March 12, 2020, 07:24:57 PM
Oh great .... cue massive run on Chic-fil-A   in 3 .... 2 .... 1 .....  [tinfoil]


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on March 12, 2020, 08:08:43 PM
Oh great .... cue massive run on Chic-fil-A   in 3 .... 2 .... 1 .....  [tinfoil]

That story was posted a day or 3 ago, but there's always a run at CFA.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Viking on March 12, 2020, 10:10:13 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/nations-nerds-wake-up-in-utopia-where-everyone-stays-inside-sports-canceled-social-interaction-forbidden
Finally, my time has come!


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Fly320s on March 13, 2020, 02:22:58 AM
That story was posted a day or 3 ago, but there's always a run at CFA.

For realz. 


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fifth_column on May 20, 2020, 08:20:05 AM
I got a chuckle out of this headline:

https://babylonbee.com/news/obamas-promise-to-donate-all-proceeds-from-multimillion-dollar-book-netflix-deals-to-combat-wealth-inequality (https://babylonbee.com/news/obamas-promise-to-donate-all-proceeds-from-multimillion-dollar-book-netflix-deals-to-combat-wealth-inequality)

Also the last line:
"At publishing time, the Obamas had released a video in which they committed to allowing refugees and undocumented immigrants to stay in their new mansion."


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on May 20, 2020, 08:44:40 AM
I got a chuckle out of this headline:

https://babylonbee.com/news/obamas-promise-to-donate-all-proceeds-from-multimillion-dollar-book-netflix-deals-to-combat-wealth-inequality (https://babylonbee.com/news/obamas-promise-to-donate-all-proceeds-from-multimillion-dollar-book-netflix-deals-to-combat-wealth-inequality)

Also the last line:
"At publishing time, the Obamas had released a video in which they committed to allowing refugees and undocumented immigrants to stay in their new mansion."

No doubt the refugees and illegals will turn down the cash, and ask for one of Michelle's hash-tags, instead.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: zxcvbob on May 28, 2020, 07:40:41 AM
(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-6255-1.jpg)

https://babylonbee.com/news/time-names-karen-person-of-the-year


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on May 28, 2020, 07:48:32 AM
(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-6255-1.jpg)

https://babylonbee.com/news/time-names-karen-person-of-the-year

:rofl:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: WLJ on June 20, 2020, 06:57:52 PM
The back and forth in this is [popcorn] time

Pastor dad warns that The Babylon Bee is Ĺa white supremacist rag that exploits Christians for clicksĺ
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2020/06/20/pastor-dad-warns-that-the-babylon-bee-is-a-white-supremacist-rag-that-exploits-christians-for-clicks/


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on June 20, 2020, 08:06:23 PM
It was only a matter of time before someone accused the Bee of racism.  Something near and dear to his heart got satirized.

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ea97oT0XQAE8y6m?format=png&name=small)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: 230RN on June 21, 2020, 04:42:47 AM
Glasses cleaning time.  I read it as "...exports Christians for chicks."


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: lee n. field on June 21, 2020, 06:26:54 AM
The back and forth in this is [popcorn] time

Pastor dad warns that The Babylon Bee is Ĺa white supremacist rag that exploits Christians for clicksĺ
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2020/06/20/pastor-dad-warns-that-the-babylon-bee-is-a-white-supremacist-rag-that-exploits-christians-for-clicks/

When they say "racist", it doesn't seem to mean anything in particular.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on June 21, 2020, 12:54:52 PM
When they say "racist", it doesn't seem to mean anything in particular.

Whites being racist toward blacks, at least in America, became a joke sometime around 2009. Not because a black guy was elected, but because the race card was finally so over-used, it just gave out.

Of course, that's just my opinion. When I hear that a white American has been racist, I tend to roll my eyes, or laugh. Unless, of course, the evidence shows it's true. Clearly, there are people still being fooled by the wolf-crying.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: 230RN on June 22, 2020, 01:34:44 PM
Meanings are getting badly blurred in the language, with connotative meanings being used for everything.

Racism is bad, but not everything bad is racist.  I'm surprised that nobody is using the term "racist" to describe a 30-car pileup on the highway.  

Hey, pileup bad.  Racism bad.  Therefore pileup is racist.

It may come to that sooner or later if everything is called racist.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on July 22, 2020, 05:25:32 PM
(https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-6621-art5f18ca576c73b.jpg)


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Pb on July 23, 2020, 05:53:21 AM
Racism is bad, but not everything bad is racist.


Boy, you have a lot to learn.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: bedlamite on July 31, 2020, 04:56:55 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-might-not-accept-the-results-of-the-2020-election-says-movement-that-still-hasnt-accepted-results-of-2016-election/

Quote
'Trump Might Not Accept The Results Of The 2020 Election,' Says Movement That Still Hasn't Accepted Results Of 2016 Election


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: RocketMan on July 31, 2020, 08:10:56 PM
So the Babylon Bee is reporting real news now?  When did that change?


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on July 31, 2020, 08:22:34 PM
So the Babylon Bee is reporting real news now?  When did that change?

When the Marxists decided to make satire our lived reality.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Jim147 on July 31, 2020, 08:56:10 PM
I think it was about 1984.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on August 04, 2020, 04:39:45 AM
Woke Polar Bear Apologizes For Being White
https://babylonbee.com/news/woke-polar-bear-apologizes-for-being-white?utm_content=bufferfdb34&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Quote
The bear "got woke" after a leftist protesting the zoo for keeping animals in captivity bravely leaped into the bear's exhibit. After eating the protester, the polar bear picked up the book on critical race theory the woman had in her pocket and devoured it, first figuratively, then literally.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on August 04, 2020, 04:50:45 PM
Teachers Refusing To Go Back In The Fall Launch 'Every Child Left Behind' Movement
https://babylonbee.com/news/teachers-refusing-to-go-back-in-the-fall-launch-all-kids-left-behind-movement/?utm_content=buffer34273&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Quote
Teachers across the nation expressed their utmost thanks to the taxpayers and assured them that this was money well spent. ôI am much more productive as a teacher thanks to the Every Child Left Behind movement. Now I can go run errands as I please and instead of grading papers I can binge Netflix!ö

At publishing time, the teacherĺs union was planning a series of strikes to continue the Every Child Left Behind movement until a cure for all sickness and death was found.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: bedlamite on September 16, 2020, 02:30:56 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-criticizes-israel-arab-leaders-for-shaking-hands-in-the-middle-of-a-pandemic

That was funny, right up until it actually happened:

https://www.foxnews.com/media/cnn-shames-trumps-large-crowd-little-social-distancing-at-wh-event-marking-middle-east-peace-deal


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: kgbsquirrel on September 16, 2020, 07:36:49 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-criticizes-israel-arab-leaders-for-shaking-hands-in-the-middle-of-a-pandemic

That was funny, right up until it actually happened:

https://www.foxnews.com/media/cnn-shames-trumps-large-crowd-little-social-distancing-at-wh-event-marking-middle-east-peace-deal

Here's yer sign.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on September 17, 2020, 12:10:12 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/u-haul-introduces-armored-war-rigs-for-californians-trying-to-flee-states-post-apocalyptic-wasteland


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on September 24, 2020, 01:44:54 PM
https://babylonbee.com/news/fisher-price-introduces-supreme-court-protest-playhouse-that-can-be-vandalized-and-burned-down



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Angel Eyes on October 16, 2020, 07:29:31 PM
For those who haven't seen it yet, the Bee has its own YouTube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/thebabylonbee



Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Mike Irwin on October 17, 2020, 03:45:28 AM
I'd never considered this...

How the hell do they know if the tear gas was working?

https://babylonbee.com/news/riot-police-unsure-if-their-tear-gas-worked-since-libs-were-already-crying-anyway


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: 230RN on October 17, 2020, 06:12:49 AM
The Cali DMV may require you to listen to a Greta sermon before leaving you alone.   =)

BEN:
I was just about to ask about that.  Apparently, they're almost done with you, but time will tell.

And IIRC, because of interstate agreements, they can still zing you on your new State's licensing and registration, yes?  No?


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: Ben on October 17, 2020, 06:34:16 AM
BEN:
I was just about to ask about that.  Apparently, they're almost done with you, but time will tell.

And IIRC, because of interstate agreements, they can still zing you on your new State's licensing and registration, yes?  No?

 :laugh:

From what I can tell, they are done with me. It took a couple of letters fore each vehicle, but I think it's done. If I don't get a demand to renew registration in FEB, then I should be in the clear.


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: MechAg94 on October 17, 2020, 04:17:20 PM
:laugh:

From what I can tell, they are done with me. It took a couple of letters fore each vehicle, but I think it's done. If I don't get a demand to renew registration in FEB, then I should be in the clear.
Did you get a ballot?


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: 230RN on October 17, 2020, 05:17:28 PM
^ "ballot"

Heh-heh.

"representation"

"taxes"

Verrry good.

:rofl:


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: fistful on October 20, 2020, 02:48:34 PM
Offered without comment.  :facepalm:

https://thefederalist.com/2020/10/20/facebook-demonetizes-satire-site-babylon-bee-claims-monty-python-spoof-incites-violence/


Title: Re: Babylon Bee
Post by: kgbsquirrel on October 20, 2020, 03:23:26 PM
Offered without comment.  :facepalm:

https://thefederalist.com/2020/10/20/facebook-demonetizes-satire-site-babylon-bee-claims-monty-python-spoof-incites-violence/


Gas lighting and financial blackballing a satire publication.  Tells you what they consider a threat.


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