Please cut off your penis.

[Balog]

Reminds me of that poster Oleg did about putting serial numbers on 'em to cut down on rape. I'd post the link but it's probably not appropriate.

[wmenorr67]

When penises are outlawed only outlaws will have penises.


And when would the severing happen?

At birth or at an age when someone will know why it is happening.

[Perd Hapley]

And will everyone get emasculated, or just the people who post pics of Sean Connery from Zardoz? 

[Mabs2]

I cut off my penis ages ago.  I don't really need it to pee (the pee tube is still there, just shorter) and I surely have never had any other need for it.  Probably never will.  Sold it on eBay for $33.21.

[Perd Hapley]

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit - oh, wait - a lot. 

[Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas]

I cut off my penis ages ago.  I don't really need it to pee (the pee tube is still there, just shorter) and I surely have never had any other need for it.  Probably never will.  Sold it on eBay for $33.21.

I love it when a catheter comes together.

[bedlamite]

Looks like they took this seriously in Congo

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSL2290323220080422

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital
Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:21pm EDT
By Joe Bavier

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.  Continued...

[LadySmith]

...sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

If I had the power to do this long distance, there are several Nigerian scammers I'd turn the tables on.

[Mabs2]

I need to learn magic.
If there's a spell to make things small, then...

[mike]

"Only the high class and wealthy would be able to afford to have their wives artificially inseminated"

Where are they going to get all this sperm if we cut all our penis off?

[Ex-MA Hole]

Mike.  Mike.  Mike.


Stop.  Stop right now.

Hypothetically, think of the US gun controls laws.  Think of the anti's thinking process.  Is that well thought out?  Do they pay attention to reality?

No.

Then why should I have to?


Just cut off your penis already.

As far as a source for sperm?  That's easy....we can import it from other countries as part of a trade agreement.  After all, we wouldn't want sperm stored in our backyard.  That would be like, oh i dunno, those people that are against the war because it is "all about oil", yet don't want beautiful Alaska or Texas dug up for oil.  Or the people that are against alternate neergy, like Nu-clear, or is that Nuke-ewe-lar, or windfarms....

I'd say that there would be a huge black market for it, but we all know that there wouldn't be.  After all, once it became law, men would just voluntarily cut them off, right?  I mean, it has worked so well in this country for everything else, and it will OBVIOUSLY work if they were to ban guns, so why not this.

I mean, look at drugs.  They banned those years ago, and poof, just like that, drugs are gone.

[RocketMan]

Sindawe- Ah, no.

Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.

You mean like the movement that everyone should have a penis and it just makes everything swell?

Zeke, did you intentionally make that bad, bad, really bad, pun? 

[El Tejon]

ALL MEN NEED TO CUT YOUR PENISES OFF

Hmmm, oddly, several ex-girlfriends have said the same thing, but addressed it to me specifically.  Hmmmm.

[SADShooter]

Too much of a good thing? 

[Desertdog]

Its for the children.  If men didnt have a penis, the small percentage children being raped and molested would go to zilch.  Disregard the other ways of forcibly violating someone, its not prudent to this conversation

Wrong, wrong, wrong.  There has been several reported cases of convicted child molesters whom had more than just the penis removed, and they continued to molestchildren.  It's all in the head, you know.

[Sawdust]

  It's all in the head, you know.

Groan...

All your penises belong to us!

Sawdust

[seeker_two]

...sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

If I had the power to do this long distance, there are several Nigerian scammers I'd turn the tables on.

If you had the power to do this long distance, this board would get awfully quiet....

[Ezekiel]

Sindawe- Ah, no.

Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.

You mean like the movement that everyone should have a penis and it just makes everything swell?

Zeke, did you intentionally make that bad, bad, really bad, pun? 

Yes.    Thanks for noticing.

[Phyphor]

...sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

If I had the power to do this long distance, there are several Nigerian scammers I'd turn the tables on.

Please, remind me to never make you angry!!! 

[LadySmith]

If you had the power to do this long distance, this board would get awfully quiet....

Please, remind me to never make you angry!!! 

Remind me never to wear my "Tactical Castration Squad" T-shirt around you guys. Might make you nervous. 

[Phyphor]

Just a lil'

[seeker_two]

If you had the power to do this long distance, this board would get awfully quiet....

Please, remind me to never make you angry!!! 

Remind me never to wear my "Tactical Castration Squad" T-shirt around you guys. Might make you nervous. 

Is it low-cut?.......


I think I just did a triple-entendre... 

[RocketMan]

Sindawe- Ah, no.

Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.

You mean like the movement that everyone should have a penis and it just makes everything swell?

Zeke, did you intentionally make that bad, bad, really bad, pun? 

Yes.    Thanks for noticing.

I'm kinda' warped that way, noticing really bad puns and all.