Please cut off your penis.

[Ex-MA Hole]

Hear me out-

I have a thought&.ALL MEN NEED TO CUT YOUR PENISES OFF&.this makes perfect sense if you think about it...

1.   Its for the children.  If men didnt have a penis, the small percentage children being raped and molested would go to zilch.  Disregard the other ways of forcibly violating someone, its not prudent to this conversation.

2.   It would cut down on global warming.  Since we couldnt reproduce naturally, there would be less children.  Less children = less people.  Less people = less global climate change.

3.   Only the high class and wealthy would be able to afford to have their wives artificially inseminated.  Therefore, the common person couldnt afford it.  This would stop the average person from reproducing.  We would have a much better caliber (like the pun?) of people.  You know, the wealthy, the ones that could afford to have children, the average could not.  Wait a minute- youd need a special license to have children.  Yeah, then the Government could regulate it for us.  You could charge a fee for this right/ license to generate revenue.  That way the common person couldnt afford it.  We don't need the average citizen having children.

4.   Since only a few select people would have children, they would lock in the future for the world.  They would (obviously) control the world in short time, since they were to only ones that would be around.

5.   Rape and sexual assaults would decline across the board&No one would have a penis, so no one would be raped.  Again, disregard dildos, broom sticks, hamsters, fists, etc.   We all know that there are no dildos in the world, so that would cease to be a problem.

6.   The pornography industry would come to a grinding halt.  No penis, no sex.  After all, since the religious groups all (just go with this for the sake of my theory) dictate that sex is for procreation only, sex is only had via missionary position.  Everyone knows that the penis is the cause of love.  Love = sex, since people only have it with their significant others. 

7.   It would be easy to accomplish this.  You simply make it a law, and men worldwide would just voluntarily, without any fight, cut their penises off.  After all, if it is a law, everyone would be on board.  Then you can send special teams door to door to hold an inspection to make sure that all penises are gone.


What say you, the fine members of APS?

[bedlamite]

THE GUN IS GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL! THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS TO PRODUCE THE HATED HUMANS! WHILE THE GUN SHOOTS DEATH TO CLEANSE THE EARTH!

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

you first.....

[geronimotwo]

sorry, i wouldn't be the first in that line tyvm.

oakland ca had a sterilization program in the mid 90's. they put up a billboard offering $600 to ladies willing to go through the process. i thought it was a great idea, being voluntary as it was. if someone needed the money that badly, then they should be allowed the choice.

nice photo, maybe i should reconsider.

[LadySmith]

Ummm... ...and  ....and
I know I don't have a (weenie) dog in this, but I cringe nevertheless.

However, I do get your points (I hope).
1. Rape and molestation isn't about the penis, although the penis could be used as a weapon. Similar to how banning guns doesn't stop murder.
2. If people start equating global warming with penectomies, it might drive home the point how misanthropic the whole concept is.
3. Elitism.
4. Elitism at its worst.
5. Oh no! Hamster abuse!!! But again, it's not the weapon. It's the warped mind behind it.
6. Everyone would become atheist lesbians, including castrated men.
7. How gun and penis banners everywhere imagine things would go.

[grampster]

Ex-MA needs a full time job and a couple of part time jobs to occupy his time and mind.

[Ezekiel]

It is an interesting metaphor, however:

Loads of "concealed" wood doesn't make anyone -- nearby -- less likely to be injured by wood.  Further, the presence of such, even if you are Peter North, does not allow for an ability to main/injure dozens at a time, unless you take into account the potential waste of millions in live ammo.

Still a cute model, though. 

[Dntsycnt]

Good sir:  I am interested in this movement, but have one question that needs answered first:  What will you do with all the severed penises?  We can't have them in landfills because those poison the earth, and we can't have people just tossing their members into the gutters because that would be unsightly and birds could choke.  Do you have a recycling program ready that can handle such a large volume of penises?  How will you sort them?

These are serious questions that must be addressed before this program begins.

[Ex-MA Hole]

I beg to differ....hypothetically, let's say you were to, oh I dunno, try to ban guns....what would happen to all of the lead?

[Sindawe]

It would cut down on global warming.  Since we couldn’t reproduce naturally, there would be less children.  Less children = less people.  Less people = less global climate change.

Being childfree, I already have that base covered.  

The pornography industry would come to a grinding halt.  No penis, no sex.

Oh, how LITTLE you know of porn, you poor missguided soul.  

[Ex-MA Hole]

Sindawe- Ah, no.

Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.

[Antibubba]

But if I cut it off then I'd have to buy a Really Big Gun to compensate.   

[charby]

I'm keeping mine, I like to pee standing up.

[Ezekiel]

Sindawe- Ah, no.

Part of my point is that this was poorly thought out with little regard to reality.

You mean like the movement that everyone should have a penis and it just makes everything swell?

[280plus]

I remember a case my uncle the cop had. Caught a couple guys peeing behind a dumpster. On the report where it asked what weapon was used in the crime he listed "penis". 

[The Annoyed Man]

How about I just tie a ribbon around it and draw a smiley face on it?  Will that make it less threatening? 

[Ex-MA Hole]

You mean like a lower capacity magazine?

[Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas]

You simply make it a law, and men worldwide would just voluntarily, without any fight, cut their penises off.

Do I get paid for this bit of community service?

[Lennyjoe]

Isn't that what happens anyway when you say "I do"?

[Ex-MA Hole]

You simply make it a law, and men worldwide would just voluntarily, without any fight, cut their penises off.

Do I get paid for this bit of community service?

You shouldn't need to.  It's for the betterment of society.  And it's the LAW.

[Perd Hapley]

Interesting.  People keep telling me to do that.  Now it's on APS, too. 

[280plus]

In the student center of Central Ct State U there is a life sized, naked, anatomically correct Blue Devil statue, them being the "Blue Devils" and all. Closer inspection will reveal that someone has put a smiley face on the Blue Devil's Li'l wiener. 

[The Annoyed Man]

Cannot believe I was the first to say it but

"...from my cold, dead fingers!"   

[Ex-MA Hole]

Well played....

[member1313]

Cannot believe I was the first to say it but

"...from my cold, dead fingers!"   

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL