Author Topic: Lost a friend.  (Read 5176 times)

Thefumegator

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Lost a friend.
« on: November 08, 2005, 02:09:01 PM »
A week ago today my dog Sally died.

I knew it was going to happen. She was a purebred English Springer Spaniel, and she was 11 years old (which is very old for the breed). She had congestive heart failure, and her lungs were filling with fluid. I knew it was imminent when she started having trouble catching her breath and began collapsing -- nearly passing out, really. On October 30th, Sally came to visit me in my bedroom in the basement, and collapsed at the top of the stairs. She tumbled to the bottom, which scared her so bad she urinated when she hit the bottom. Once she was okay again, we cleaned her up, carried her upstairs, and bathed her. She collapsed two or three more times that day.

The day was difficult emotionally, as my Mother and I discussed that we might need to consider putting her to sleep.

Halloween passed without incident, but that night, she couldn't catch her breath, and was panting all night. She couldn't lay down for more than a minute or so before she had to get up and pant again... In the morning, as I got up and got ready for work, I noticed that she was panting so hard that she didn't seem to really be concerned with anything else -- just breathing.

When I got home from work, the first thing anyone said to me was from my sister: "Do you know?"
"Know what?"
"Sally died. She's in the garage."

She was laid on the workbench with a sheet covering her. Her fur still felt soft and fine, but it just didn't feel the same without the warmth and her personality. It took my Dad and I about an hour to dig her grave in the garden in the backyard, after which we wrapped her in her favorite blanket, I took her collar off, and we laid her in her grave and covered her up. That was one of the hardest times I've ever had.

I guess it's that moral struggle that most people go through: I hated to see her struggle and suffer, but I hate not having her here. She was 11, I am 21. She was there for more than half of my life, and most of the lucent, pleasant memories include her. She was well-trained, obedient, and downright intelligent. When she was hungry, she brought her bowl to you and waited for you to take it. If you were ignoring her, she dropped it on your feet. cheesy When you had that situation where you ran out of "supplies" in the restroom, you could tell her... she knew right where it was and would retrieve a roll for you. Just pointing at something and saying, "Give it to me!" would have it in your hand in a moment. In many of the hard times of my life where I was in a bad mood or had broken down crying, she was the one who came to console me.

She really was my best friend.


Sally
October 17, 1994 - November 1, 2005
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Iain

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« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2005, 02:24:26 PM »
I'm sorry.

I have a springer. Picked him up from my aunt, he'd been babied and was going to be no good as a gundog/beater. I've not regretted it for one moment. He's my first dog, so I've never lost one. It can't be easy.
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Larry Ashcraft

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« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2005, 02:36:28 PM »
Sorry for your loss, I know how hard it can be.

I had two Springers a few years ago.  Daisy Mae and her son Brutus.  Daisy was a fine hunting dog and had a sweet personality.  Brutus was a klutz.  We loved them both and they were very protective of us and our property.

Brutus had to be put down with a bad heart at the age of 14.  Daisy lived to be 17 years old.  One morning her heart just stopped.

They are both buried about 1/4 mile from the house, in a small meadow just for that purpose, with laser engraved redwood headstones.

I still miss them and have a picture of Daisy on the bedroom wall.

Again, I know how you feel.

Larry

Larry Ashcraft

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« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2005, 02:39:16 PM »
A DOG'S PRAYER
by Beth Norman Harris

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in the world is more grateful than the loving heart of me.  Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the worlds sweetest music, as you know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside . . . For I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to the bitter elements . . . And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth  . . . Though had you no home, I would rather follow you through the ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land . . . For you are my god . . . And I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I would not reproach you if it were dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.  Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able  to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health and sight, do not turn me away from you.  Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest . . . And I will leave knowing that with the last breath I drew,
My fate was always safest in your hands.

Thefumegator

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« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2005, 03:06:32 PM »
That's beautiful, Larry. Thanks.

Wow, 14 and 17? Perhaps I was misinformed about the life expectancy of Springers.

Wes
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garyk/nm

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« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2005, 03:14:01 PM »
I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time seeing the keyboard at present. Have lost pets (family members) similarly and I understand what you are feeling. My best wishes to you and your family.

Larry Ashcraft

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« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2005, 03:22:00 PM »
Quote from: Thefumegator
Wow, 14 and 17? Perhaps I was misinformed about the life expectancy of Springers.

Wes
No, I don't think so.  I've heard the same numbers.  Maybe Daisy was exceptional, she was out of English stock (her father was an English field trial champion).

The Americans have bred a lot of the "field" traits out of Springers, trying to make show dogs out of them.  The English strains have longer legs and shorter hair and ears, good traits for a hunting dog.  Part of Brutus' 'klutziness' came from his father "Odie" who was a typical American show dog, short legs, long curly hair and ears.

I don't have a scanner here at home but maybe I can post a picture of Daisy tomorrow (she looked a lot like your dog).

USP45usp

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« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2005, 05:30:03 PM »
Thank you for sharing.

I haven't had a dog in awhile, but I do have the devil incarnate (as a cat) laying on my lap at the moment.  I estimate her to be about 14 and she still acts like a kitten, but I know that most likely I am going to outlive her and I'm not looking forward to it.

You and she sound like you both had some great times, that she was loved, and that's all she wanted and it was given from your heart.

I would say that I am a man and doesn't cry, but each time I read about a great friend going onto the next world, I am not ashamed to say, the tears in  my eyes are there because my heart has been touched by such a beautiful story of a friends life and the joy they brought to the ones they loved.

Wayne

Bob F.

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« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2005, 05:32:46 PM »
Sorry, man. Dakota, my lab/GSD mix is 11 and has seizures (not real often as far as we know). I'm dreading the day....................
"I always have my primary weapon, it's right between my ears."

P95Carry

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« Reply #9 on: November 08, 2005, 06:32:39 PM »
Wes my friend - I share your sorrow - in as much as a devoted friend such as your Sally is indeed a very painful loss to bear.

I identify even more because of the period of your life she shared with you.  I know some might think this insignificant but - I grew up (from earliest memories) with a black cat ''Felix" - he was my buddy and he died when I was away from home age IIRC about age 16 - he was I guess 13 or 14..  I had always had the feeling - well, he'll always be around - silly of course.

Not that it helps much Wes but - remember her with affection and be thankful for all the loyalty and friendship she gave.  That means I guess like with any departed, honor their memory but with joy as well as grief.
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Silver Bullet

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« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2005, 04:33:25 AM »
Losing an only dog is terrible.  Theyre your friend, they trust you, they give so much and ask so little.

When my dog died, I was grateful for the time I had with him, but I was overwhelmed with grief that I couldnt do for him as much as he had done for me.

Unisaw

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« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2005, 07:36:51 AM »
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.  We lost our first dog, a Bernese Mountain Dog, about two years ago.  Remember the good times.
Well, if you have the sudden urge to lick your balls you'll know you got the veterinary version... K Frame

Thefumegator

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« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2005, 10:35:22 AM »
Chris,

Yes, you're right -- I will remember the good times... it's just going to take some time to get used to the newfound emptiness. I unconciously find myself expecting her to be waiting at the door when I get home from work, and when I open the door every day, I get another wake-up call.

Silver Bullet, she was an only dog for many years, but about 2 years ago my younger brother got a purebred Black Labrador, Molly. Molly is still here, and she is a sweet, loving soul herself.

The biggest adjustment at this point is that I accidentally call Molly by Sally's name, and I am having a hard time calling only one dog -- and getting the right name when I do!

I guess it will just take time. I miss her, but I'm happy that she's not suffering anymore.

Thanks for your support, guys.
Wes
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Monkeyleg

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« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2005, 11:35:26 AM »
I'm sorry, Wes. Anyone who's been through that experience knows how painful it is. It's almost as bad as losing a family member, because dogs are like family.

grampster

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« Reply #14 on: November 09, 2005, 12:39:46 PM »
Sorry too, Wes.  I had to put down a Schnauzer named Quincy over 13 years ago.  We keep his ashes in a little wooden house with his name over the door.  I still think about that pooch and call one of the cats Quincy by mistake once in awhile.  The best part is that dog is always in your memory and that forms the solid good part of your heart.
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Robert Sears

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« Reply #15 on: November 09, 2005, 01:04:40 PM »
Sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend to cancer4 1/2 yrs ago. I have another Collie who is now 13 and a Shiloh Shepherd who is 3 but I still miss my friend. Remember the good time and forget the bad. Sally will be waqiting at the Bridge.

Bob

LIVING LOVE

If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life
you will always remember....

The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring
home your young new friend.
You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have
asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in
finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may
have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter--simple
because something in its eyes reached your heart. But when you
bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim
its special place in your hall or front room--and when you
feel it brush against you for the first time--it instills a
feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many
years to come.

The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later.
It will be a day like any other.
Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you
will look at your longtime friend and see age where you once
saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once
saw energy. And you will see sleep when you once saw
activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet--and
you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may feel a
growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming
emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off,
until the third day finally arrives.

And on this day--if your friend and God have not decided for
you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own--on behalf of your lifelong friend,and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you--you will feel as long as a single star in the dark night.

If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as
often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you.

But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished
through the many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul--a bit smaller in size than your own--seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come.

And at moments when you least expect anything out of the
ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg--very very lightly.

And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps
dearest, friend used to lay--you will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely to be painful, and leave an ache in your heart--As time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of its own. You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when--along
with the memory of your pet--and piercing through the heaviness in your heart--there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love--like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this Love will remain and grow--and be there for us to remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a Love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our Beloved Pets--it is a Love we will always possess.

(by Martin Scot Kosins)



Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Ektarr Dragonwycke

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Lost a friend.
« Reply #16 on: November 09, 2005, 04:38:10 PM »
So sorry for your loss.  It's hard to lose a treasured pet and I shudder to think how I'm going to fare when my Emily Pearl (Chocolate Lab, born on Pearl Harbor Day!) goes.

I'm reminded of what they say about cats and dogs:  A cat will live with the one who feeds it; a dog will die for the one who Loves it.

P95Carry

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« Reply #17 on: November 09, 2005, 07:07:55 PM »
Bob41081 - that is a great piece of prose - says so much. Smiley
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Lo.Com.Denom

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« Reply #18 on: November 10, 2005, 12:08:43 PM »
Really sorry for your loss, Thefumigator. A few years ago we had to put our Collie mongrel down, just shy of his 19th birthday. We'd had him since I was 5 years old and his absence left a gaping hole. I'm ashamed to admit it, but it affected me more than when my Grandmother died, whom I was very close to - simply because he was there every day, rain or shine and I couldn't really remember a time when he wasn't.

Well, you can't replace an animal like that, but after a while, getting another dog is just about the only thing you can do to fill the hole. We got two, because he was one hell of a dog and left one hell of a hole. (Tip: Never get two from the same litter, unless you have an older dog to put them on the right path. Makes training, er, "interesting" Smiley )
So now we have two 6-month-old lunatics racing around, displaying every bad (and disgusting) habit that my old friend never had, completely different in every way, but just as loyal and loving.

You'll know when the time is right to get another - there's no set time limit and it doesn't say anything about how much you loved Sally as to when you do. Xavierbreath (of THR and TFL fame) wrote in his blog that he got his new dog just a few days after his last one. Didn't intend to, of course, but the time (and the dog) was right.

Regards, Denom.

Guest

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« Reply #19 on: November 10, 2005, 04:17:54 PM »
Sad

280plus

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« Reply #20 on: November 10, 2005, 06:21:09 PM »
I held my last dog "Tasha" as the Vet pumped her full of the pink stuff and put her down. She was having seizures too. Probably one of the toughest things I've evr had to do. Sorry for your loss...

Sad
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SalukiFan

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« Reply #21 on: November 11, 2005, 04:23:37 AM »
My condolences.  It's incredibly hard to lose a pet, especially one you grew up with.  Dogs really are man's best friend.

Thefumegator

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« Reply #22 on: November 13, 2005, 07:09:01 PM »
Sorry -- been busy at work... mandatory overtime and all.

I really appreciate everyone's support. Thanks so much.
Wes
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brimic

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« Reply #23 on: November 13, 2005, 08:31:31 PM »
Sorry about your loss. Dogs are tough ones to lose. The only time I ever seen my old man cry is when he had to have his Springer put down.
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Leatherneck

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« Reply #24 on: November 14, 2005, 05:32:06 AM »
Wes,
I feel your pain. Gunnerthegreatestlabofalltime passed on three months ago, and I still miss him. The other Lab, the Dobie and the Cocker just don't quite fill the void. Sorry for your loss.
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