Author Topic: Witnessed a double fatality this morning  (Read 4682 times)

grampster

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« on: November 12, 2005, 12:54:01 PM »
SWMBO and I were heading out to pick up the grandkids.  We were driving a stretch of road that is flat, crosses a large muck farm, then a little upgrade with a cross street.  A car pulled out of the cross street directly in front of another vehicle and they collided.  TBone at 55 mph.  It is really strange trying to mentally process what you are seeing in an instance like that.  it's not supposed to happen.  You see it, but don't believe it.

I remarked out loud..."Did we just see an accident?"  I accelerated and (we were about 1/4 mile away) pulled up and stopped.  A quick look told me it was bad.  I called 911 on the cell and told them to send multipe ambulances and leo's.  Bad PI and potential code K.  I went to the first car and the driver was obviously deceased.  I think his neck was broken.  His wife was lying on him, unconsious and breathing sporadically, poor color.  I new that there was nothing I would be able to do to aid her.  She would live or die, but I could do nothing as she had no visible wounds to attend to and her body was free of obstruction.  If she could continue to breath, she would.  I thought maybe her neck was also broken.  They were T-boned dead on the driver door.

I moved to the other car.  The passenger in the front seat appeared to be shaken, but ok.  I spoke with her and told her to remain calm help was on the way.  She had a cell phone, so I told her to call relatives.  (would keep her occupied and stave off shock, I hoped).  All the airbags had deployed.  It was a PT Cruiser.  I moved to the driver.  Her seat had slid forward and the back rest was also pushed forward.  She was somewhat pale and sweaty, so I knew she was shocky.  I asked how she felt.  She said her chest hurt and it hurt to breathe.  I told her it was the airbag and the seat belt that caused that.  I told her she was not bleeding.  She said her legs hurt.  I told her her legs had hit the dash and they appeared ok.  I told her her color was good and she was breathing fine, even tho it hurt, she would be ok.  Her color got a little better and I told her that too.  That seemed to calm her a bit.  I pried open the door to get her some extra room and more air.  I did not want to move the seat as I did not know if she had other injuries.  The pros were on the way.  We could wait and she'd be ok, that I'd be with her.  I told her that.

I went to the back seat passenger.  She was a teen.  I asked her how she felt.  She said her arm was broken.  I told her fine.  Just let it lie in her lap and it would be supported that way and not to move around.  She said her head and chest hurt as well as her legs.  I told her to just remain still and lie back and breathe slowly through her mouth.  Her color was good, I told her so.  She told me she was 13 weeks pregnant.  I asked did she have her seat belt on.  She did.  I told her that the seat belt probably helped her and her baby and that he was in a safe place in her, designed to take some shock.  She relaxed a bit and sat back.  I pried the back door open to give her some more room and air.  I could see where her legs had pushed in the front seat.  I told her she wasn't bleeding and was probably just bruised and to remain quiet till the meds got here.  She smiled.  That made me feel good.  I asked her if she felt any fluid or wet in her pelvic area she said no.  I told her that was good for her and the baby.

It dawned on me that sometimes the best first aid is just being supportive and positive and calm for the injured.  I was calm and spoke quietly and reasurringly.  That seemed to help them.  The driver was probably the worse off, maybe some chest injury, but she was breathing well and her color was getting better.  She was still shocky though.

By this time others had stopped and we got the first car's engine to stop by prying open the hood and cutting the battery cable.  We were worried about fire.  I checked the driver again.  He was gone.  His wife was still breathing poorly, still unconcious.  I told bystanders to leave her alone, don't move her, the meds were imminent.  About that time volunteer firemen, a sheriff, a state trooper and ambulance arrived.  Advised the trooper to call for more meds.  They called for aeromed.  

Went back to the 3 ladies and comforted them for a little more time, told them the meds were here and all would be ok soon and then we left.

I called the State Police post awhile ago.  The driver was indeed deceased.  He never knew what hit him imho.  His wife died enroute to the hospital on the aeromed chopper.  She never woke up.  So sad.  They appeared to be elderly.  In some way I'm relieved that they both went.  An odd emotion, but I think it was just right, somehow.

I just needed to tell this thing.  Life is so tenuous.  They left the house to...do what?  Go to the store?  Visit a grandkid?  Get gas?  They lived just down the road from the corner.  They got in the car and then never went home again.  Now their family is collected somewhere in grief and sadness.  The driver of the PT Cruiser said to me, "I'm so sorry."  Her passenger said "Please don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault.  He turned right in front of you".  She's right, but that poor lady will be second guessing herself and having bad dreams.  I hope the baby is OK.  

Kiss your kids, hug your wife/husband.  Treasure your friends.  Appreciate your work.  Look around you and see the beauty.  Take a deep breath and savor the taste.  If you believe, thank the Lord for the day.  If you do not, ponder that maybe you should, just so you might thank Someone for the fact you exist.
Life is so tenuous.
"Never wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."  G.B. Shaw

Paddy

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2005, 01:08:34 PM »
Wow.  You truly never know what's going to happen next.  Life is fragile and we don't truly appreciate what we have until it's gone.  In a way, I understand the gratitude that the elderly couple both passed away together.  Still, any life violently cut short is shocking and painful.  I think your actions helped the survivors considerably.

Dannyboy

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2005, 01:56:50 PM »
Quote from: grampster
They lived just down the road from the corner.  They got in the car and then never went home again.
A friend of mine was killed in a motorcycle accident last Sunday.  He was two miles away from his house.  You just never know.
Oh, Lord, please let me be as sanctimonious and self-righteous as those around me, so that I may fit in.

The Rabbi

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2005, 02:16:38 PM »
Kudos Grampster.  That was a very difficult situation but you sound like you handled it well and gave all the aid you could.  Wish there were more folks around like you.
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Larry Ashcraft

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2005, 02:24:16 PM »
My daughter witnessed a fatal accident about two blocks from her house a few months ago.

She had a hard time with it.  "Mom, the lady was just on her way home or to the store, how could she know she would never make it?"

Felonious Monk/Fignozzle

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2005, 03:38:44 PM »
Quote from: grampster
Kiss your kids, hug your wife/husband.  Treasure your friends.  Appreciate your work.  Look around you and see the beauty.  Take a deep breath and savor the taste.  If you believe, thank the Lord for the day.  If you do not, ponder that maybe you should, just so you might thank Someone for the fact you exist.
Life is so tenuous.
+1.
Now, take it a step further and seek to LIVE that way.

Good on ya, friend.  You did really well.

Standing Wolf

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2005, 04:04:26 PM »
If I'm ever in a car wreck, I'd like Grampster to be there.
No tyrant should ever be allowed to die of natural causes.

Devon

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2005, 04:06:29 PM »
Grampster, as a volunteer firefighter/EMT. Ya done good fella. Sometimes just being supportive is the best treatment in the short term. Get ahold of the fire dept. that was involved, find out if they will be having a critical incident debriefing and attend it if possible. It will help you get it out of your head. I worked a bad scene a couple of years ago, just kids in their late teens & early 20's. I still have dreams about it, get shook up , & teary eyed over it. I wanted to quit the fire service after that one, the debrief helped me get through it.

You did what you could and did it right. More folks should be like you.

Devon

esheato

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2005, 04:08:23 PM »
Carpe Diem and I hope everyone recovers to the best of their abilities.

grampster

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #9 on: November 12, 2005, 06:08:39 PM »
Devon,

     Thanks for the info.  I'm fine.  I just needed to type this thing out to get it out of me.  I think it's better if someone else listens.  You guys have been my debrief.

 Thanks also, the rest of you for the kind words.  Not a good day today.

     I serve on the Command Board of our local volunteer fire dept.  We're the guys who sort through the needs of the department, find the money, make sure our guys have the finest turnout gear, training and equipment, apparatus etc, appoint the officers etc.   I'm also a former leo in another life.  So even tho I wish I had been elsewhere, I'm no stranger to mayhem.  My guys are supposed to do this, not me.  Sigh....

  I'm not trained any more, but old stuff just came back, flooded right to the surface.  The one thought that was most powerful was "Don't hurt them any more.  If you don't know what you should do, if nothing else is mandatory to be done, don't do anything, just stabilize, comfort, be calm and re-assure".   Funny how that stuff still lurks in the background even after many years.    The responding dept was a volunteer unit in the next township.  They do a fine job.  Our department would have done as well or better.  We have the finest department in the county.

We're rural, so it took about 10 minutes or so for the pro's to arrive.  Not too bad in my opinion.  I've run the thing through my mind a bit, and I'm sure I took the correct steps.  The elderly lady was unconcious and not breathing well.  I am convinced there was nothing I could do for her.  She was not pinned, her airway was not obstructed, her head was in a position that the little blood that was coming from her mouth was coming out, not down her throat.  I'm pretty sure her neck was broken because of the violent sideways motion of the car when hit.  Attending to the other three seemed, even after re-thinking,  the proper thing to do.  I'm satisfied with my actions.

Again thanks for being around so I could talk it out with myself, see the words, read them and put the thing to rest.  It is well, I think, for all of us to ponder the swiftness that our fate overtakes us.  Be kind to each other.
"Never wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."  G.B. Shaw

Stand_watie

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #10 on: November 12, 2005, 06:33:18 PM »
Quote from: grampster
A car pulled out of the cross street directly in front of another vehicle and they collided...  

The driver of the PT Cruiser said to me, "I'm so sorry."  Her passenger said "Please don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault.  He turned right in front of you".  She's right, but that poor lady will be second guessing herself and having bad dreams...
Maybe you already thought of this, but if you didn't, I think it would be a very nice thing to do for you to put that first statement in a letter to the driver of the PT cruiser. Probably going to be a lot of nights when any person (who isn't supremely self-confident) would like to roll over and take that letter out of the nightstand for re-assurance.
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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2005, 09:16:42 AM »
Quote from: grampster
Kiss your kids, hug your wife/husband.  Treasure your friends.  Appreciate your work.  Look around you and see the beauty.  Take a deep breath and savor the taste.  If you believe, thank the Lord for the day.  If you do not, ponder that maybe you should, just so you might thank Someone for the fact you exist.
Life is so tenuous.
I don't know how I would have handled it but if I'm ever in that type of situation, God forbid, I hope I do as well as you did. The type of mentality you describe is truly the way to experience life. I learned this early on when I was studying Bushido, which teaches you to live as if the current hour will be your last hour on Earth.

kudu

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2005, 09:47:24 AM »
Well done grampster, I would only hope I would do half as well in a like situation.  Now excuse me while I go hug my wife and kids.

Felonious Monk/Fignozzle

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« Reply #13 on: November 13, 2005, 10:35:21 AM »
Quote from: grampster
SWMBO and I were heading out to pick up the grandkids.  
Kiss your kids, hug your wife/husband.  Treasure your friends.  Appreciate your work.  Look around you and see the beauty.  Take a deep breath and savor the taste.  If you believe, thank the Lord for the day.  If you do not, ponder that maybe you should, just so you might thank Someone for the fact you exist.
Life is so tenuous.
No one's asked:
How is SWMBO? Have you made sure she's okay?  Hold her close and reassure her.

Guest

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #14 on: November 13, 2005, 11:02:38 AM »
Funny, I stopped to help out at an accident Tuesday of last week.

Some lady in a basic Japanese very small minivan thingie had solo-rolled in the rain, steep downhill freeway section...came to a stop upright just off the road.  She came out of it suprisingly VERY well, some cuts and bruises but apparantly nothing too serious.  I was second on scene, the first was a professional nurse.  The nurse had evaluated the patient and decided she could wait for the pros, and had retreated some ways up the hill.  There was scattered wreckage in the road, this was a blind curve in the rain and everyone present was worried about another hit.

Some other guy pulling up said he was in a hurry but was able to give me four flares.  I walked further up the hill and set up a "guide strip" around the accident, sending people into the outside lane away from the disabled car.  Only then did I do the sort of "comfort the victim stuff" Grampster describes...in this case preventing a second accident was priority one and the victim was alert enough to realize that.

I'd bet good money I know what happened: she got into the turn too hot, freaked out some, climbed all over the brakes.  The combined tire stress of both cornering and braking added up to "wipeout".  (The lesson, folks, is that it's often better to continue hot through the corner and keep it as smooth as possible so no "sudden jolts" hit the tires.  If you MUST brake in a serious corner do it real easy!)

She was wearing her seatbelt.  The upper windshield area was caved in pretty bad but near as I can tell, the airbag held her back from that and the net result was close to zero injury.  Quite impressive.

280plus

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #15 on: November 13, 2005, 11:13:04 AM »
Good job gramps, I had to deal with a similar situation many years ago. Semi T-boned a toyota at about 70 mph. The driver ended face up under the car after it rolled on the median. Somehow she survived. Out of nowhere a busload of the largest most muscular Jewish men I have ever seen lifted the car off of her. It took about 2 weeks to get it out of my head. A year later pics of the scene brought it all flooding back. Take care and write more if you feel the need.

PS, What Standing Wolf said...
Avoid cliches like the plague!

grampster

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #16 on: November 13, 2005, 12:09:12 PM »
Swmbo is fine.  She stayed in the car.   She was more upset about all the gawkers that stopped who weren't doing anything to help, route traffic etc.  All they seemed to want to do was walk over and look and the victim who was deceased.  I guess I'd like to give them the benefit of maybe hoping they could do something for him before they discovered he was gone.
"Never wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."  G.B. Shaw

Guest

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« Reply #17 on: November 13, 2005, 12:26:10 PM »
Good job Sir.

Monkeyleg

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #18 on: November 13, 2005, 01:39:28 PM »
The ultimate Good Samaritan. Sounds like you did a great job, Grampster. Most people either wouldn't stop, or would try to do something that would make things worse.

When my wife gets home tonight, I'm going to hug her twice as hard.

Thanks for the perspective.

Guest

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« Reply #19 on: November 13, 2005, 02:52:21 PM »
Sounds like you did a great job, but I'm sorry you had to experience that. Sad

SMLE

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« Reply #20 on: November 14, 2005, 09:58:34 PM »
Good Job Grampster. I'm an EMT and it didn't take me long to learn that "bedside manner" is a MAJOR part of EMS patient care. The small, human touches that you can use to comfort someone often do more good than the O2 and IVs can.

Something that helps me deal with the patients that don't make it is that I have total faith in the infinite mercy and justice of G-d and I know that there are worse things than dying. Since you work for the FD, you shouldn't have any trouble setting up a CISD. Don't be shy about it either if typing it out here doesn't do the trick.


I have a copy of this on my wall.

The Oath of Maimonides

The eternal providence has appointed me to watch over the life and health of Thy creatures. May the love for my art actuate me at all time; may neither avarice nor miserliness, nor thirst for glory or for a great reputation engage my mind; for the enemies of truth and philanthropy could easily deceive me and make me forgetful of my lofty aim of doing good to Thy children.

May I never see in the patient anything but a fellow creature in pain.

Grant me the strength, time and opportunity always to correct what I have acquired, always to extend its domain; for knowledge is immense and the spirit of man can extend indefinitely to enrich itself daily with new requirements.

Today he can discover his errors of yesterday and tomorrow he can obtain a new light on what he thinks himself sure of today.

Oh, God, Thou has appointed me to watch over the life and death of Thy creatures; here am I ready for my vocation and now I turn unto my calling.

I have a copy of the last paragraph on the back of my EMT license.

Robert Sears

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #21 on: November 15, 2005, 07:23:35 AM »
Well done grampster.  I've grwon up in towns/big city(Houston,Tx), what is a muck farm?

Bob

MaterDei

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« Reply #22 on: November 15, 2005, 08:12:24 AM »
Grampster, you're amazing.  I'm most impressed with your expressed thoughts and feelings.  

So did you go pick up the grandkids afterwards?  Did you talk to them about what you experienced?

Bob41081, a muck farm is where crops are planted on drained wetlands.  The soil is black and sticky.  Mucky.

grampster

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Witnessed a double fatality this morning
« Reply #23 on: November 15, 2005, 02:48:59 PM »
Fianna,
You hold yourself to a high set of principals.  I salute you and what you do.  I extend the same felicitations to the rest of you here that volunteer or are career public servants in this way.

MaterDei,
Yeah, we went on and picked up the g'kids.  We came back to our place by a different route because I knew the road would be tied up most of the day with accident investigation minutiae.  I told them why when they asked.  I explained how serious it is to be always looking after ones self and being careful and how one small error can extract a heavy price.  The oldest is 15 and just starting to drive.  The other is 13.

Again, its been helpful to get this off my chest as well as reminding y'all how a moments lapse can lead to catastrophe.

I found out the man and woman who died were in their 80's, had 21 grandkids, were well known, loved and respected in our community.  They were going to the store for a small article and he had asked her to go with him as they always did things together.  The other three ladies were admitted to the hospital, but were "stable" according to the newspaper.
"Never wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."  G.B. Shaw