Welcome to the polite society. (Updated October 11, 2008)

[Oleg Volk]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Welcome to the Armed, Polite Society discussion forum. We are hosted free of charge by Geovario. The rules of conduct here are what you would expect in any civilized home: be civil to others, don't advocate commission of capital crimes and keep the language and the imagery tame. Otherwise, all topics are welcome.

If someone treats you rudely, you may send a PM to me with the thread URL, offender name and the description of the problem. Depending on the severity of the offense, that person's account and all posts may be removed at once or we might wait until several complaints come in. Of course, anyone here can do the same if you are rude to them. That means treading lightly and being extra civil to everyone will be in your own self-interest. Keep in mind that participation in hot-button topics puts you at higher risk of accidentally offending somebody.

To prevent trolls from abusing this method and filing false accusations, I will treat deliberately filing false reports as a banning offense as well. It may happen the first time, or may happen the third time, but no self-styled Inquisitor will be able to get good members banned on a whim.

Of course, the easiest way to deal with problem members is to ignore them. Don't rise to the bait.

Enjoy APS forum and please be a credit to the RKBA lifestyle.

Oleg Volk

[280plus]

December 1 Memo


FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the
banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No host bar,
but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing
traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't Be
surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

December 2 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our
Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an
important holiday which often coincides with Christmas,
though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on
we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy
applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this
time.

Happy now?

December 3 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a nondrinking table ... you didn't
sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but
if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only" you
wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle
this? Somebody?

December 7 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December
2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids
eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours.
 Surely, we can appreciate how a luncheon
this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim
employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on
serving your meal until the end of the party the days
are so short this time of year or else package
everything for takehome in little foil swans. Will that
work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters
Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and
pregnant women will get the table closest to the
restrooms. Did I miss anything?

December 8 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you
expect me to do, a tapdance on your heads? Fire
regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our
"earthbased Goddessworshipping" employees, but we'll try
to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the
band's breaks. Okay???

December 9 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having
our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of
"Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil
connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a
tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family
feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on
Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?

December 10 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party

Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're
going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue
whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the
table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your freaking salad bar,
including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have
feelings too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've
heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now!

December 14 Memo

FROM: Teri Bishops, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a
speedy recovery from her stress related illness and I'll
continue to forward your cards to her at the sanatorium.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our
Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd
off with full pay.

We hope that this change does not offend anyone.

[Ben]

Hilarious, yet sadly, reality.

[Guest]

Sad but true.

Preface: I detest this time of year. I used to just hate it, I hit another level a few years ago.

I grew up with the holidays accounting for the big money for the year. I was not as "commercialized" as it is now.
I apprenticed under Orthodox Jews, I was brought up eating cookies in a Baptist church. We had all sorts of folks, from Catholic, to the Reformed Jew, to you name it.

Respect, common courtesy, and being polite. We didn't have Political Correctness.  Yes we had "office parties" , made no difference what belief system, skinny, fat, race, recovering alcholic, or the office drunk...we just had fun.

It was actually a cultural experience - seeing the different foods, how prepared, someone sharing their traditions...folks listened, and respected. Questions asked and answered - no bashing or trashing.

Many times we just headed out and took over the back room of  a resturant, hotel meeting room. Some Bosses had BIG homes, we went there and shot pool, table tennis matches, and even shot BBGuns in the basement.

When I was the one in the "authority role", even tho I was getting to hate this time of year, I asked what folks wanted to do. For a few years I asked employees kids - that was smart. Kids are sharp and really know how to bring things into perspective.

"Mr. Steve, can we go to that place that has the fish stuff with pinchers?"   Something about kids trying to eat a lobster and crab legs - well there was the entertainment for the night.  
Shrimp was popular too, Never show a kid how to flip shrimp tails with a spoon...hilarious, laughing so hard they  forgot about gifts.

Climate changed more - and  I started informing them to have a party and sign the tab, I had arrangements made at various places.

I left the business.  I was ORDERED to attend a Party. I was TOLD I would donate to something so the hosptial employing me looked good in the media.

"Nope, I am a free man, you do not OWN me. I choose to donate to whom I want to, and it happens to be the Children's Hosptial.  I do not understand why folks only celebrate only one day a year and act like heathens the other days of the year."

I volunteered to work instead. I worked the holidays

There was a time I enjoyed some of this, folks just being folks and employees kids torn between trying to eat crab legs , and unwrapping a gift.

Picture a red-headed little girl, Jewish buddy of mine seated on one side, Nun on her other, and both cannot crack crab legs fast enough for her. Parents are so thankful, they can actually eat their food for a change.

 Jewish wife dancing with the Catholic Father and the Resturant Mgr joining us. Who says you cannot line dance to Jimi Hendrix or slow dance to ZZTop.

Then the kids come from out the kitchen with a Chocolate cake with Reindeer Antlers coming out of it. So it took a dozen red cherries to make a reindeer nose - they had fun in the back decorating it, the Greek Orthodox pastry cook told them that was how it was done...

Political Correctness, Greed, and Commercialization ruined all this.

[roo_ster]

I used to be really cynical about Christmas & the associated hoo-ha.  

Nowadays, I eat it up with a big ol' spoon.  Can't get enough.  I start whistling Christmas carols in August, to the annoyance of those within earshot.  Anything made out of pumpkin or turkey is not safe with me in the house.

We have an official party at work I will not attend and an informal party I will attend, because I can bring my rugrat.

I also give the cold shoulder to the United Way special pleaders every year.  I give to those charities I want, not the one my company wants.

To all those who don't like Christmas because some folks are turning it into a commercial enterprise or something it isn't, I would say: don't let the actions and cynicism of others determine how you feel about somehting.

[mtnbkr]

To all those who don't like Christmas because some folks are turning it into a commercial enterprise or something it isn't, I would say: don't let the actions and cynicism of others determine how you feel about somehting

Yup.  

Chris

[grampster]

Tis the season to be jolly,
to kiss and hug beneath the holly.
Little Anna got a dolly,
little Jude hopes that 'prolly
he won't get a dolly.
Tis the season to be jolly,
to kiss and hug beneath the holly.

[Azrael256]

I do so love going to a Methodist school.  I don't attend the Christmas celebrations for the most part since it just isn't my thing, but it's nice to see them put up the decorations and sing carols.  Without that sort of stuff, it's just winter, and winter sucks.  We have an office Christmas party, and we all have fun.  I wish everybody a happy Channukah, and they wish me a merry Christmas.  It's an excuse to take off work, eat far too many cookies, get a little tipsy, and sing silly songs.  What's not to like?

[Chris]

I felt bad about the season, but two things have saved me.

Last weekend, after a day of Christmas shopping and such, I was feeling down on the season.  Feeling the commercialism, the P.C. "Happy Holidays," etc.  So, I'm sitting in Red Robin eating a quick supper with my wife and two boys when my five year old begins almost hopping up and down in his seat.  "I see Santa Claus."  My three year old gets into the act, pointing.  A few tables away is a man with white hair and beard, with a nice Santa Claus build, eating with what appeared tobe his wife and another couple.  The wife catches what my boys are saying, points it out to the others, and "Santa" waives to my sons.  We get them calmed enough to keep eating.  About ten minutes later, "Santa" comes over to our table, kneels down, and begins talking to my boys about how he was out doing work for the big day, and stopped to have dinner with Mrs. Claus and some friends, how he saw they were being good boys, etc.  Probably spent five minutes talking with the boys before he got up, wished us all a Merry Christmas, and walked away.

the next day, as we were getting ready for church, my five year old came down with several older toys.  When we asked what he was doing, he recalled that the church had announced they would be collecting toys for a charity Christmas drive, and he wanted to give away his older toys "that way all of the boys and girls can get a toy under the tree this year."

So, when anyone asks me if Sant Claus is real, I'm going to have to tell him yes.  I've met the man, and seen his spirit in the actions of my son.  Now I can truly wish all of you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Chaunaka, Happy Kwanza, or whatever holiday you and yours choose to celebrate.

[garyk/nm]

cas, thanks man, I needed that.

[280plus]

cas, thanks man, I needed that.

+1

[SADShooter]

+2. Ebenezer here almost teared up with that one.

I have much to be thankful for this season. But being lost in trees (moving/new job etc.) it's hard to see the forest. Thanks for the perspective.

SADShooter

[Azrael256]

Ebenezer here almost teared up with that one.

Yeah, got something in my eye.

[280plus]

Steady men...

[Chris]

Darn kid of mine, always seems to be giving me allergic reactions.  Guess it's not just me.

[Smoke]

Went to my wife's company Christmas party with my kids in tow.  Santa was there.  Kids told him what they wanted.  When my oldest (6 yrs) was done he came over all excited and said "I want to go outside"  when pressed for a reason he told me "I want to see Santa's reindeer and sleigh".

Uh-oh.  I told him the reindeer don't like to wait so they fly off and come back when Santa is ready  He still wanted to go outside to see if they were circling.  I told him to go ahead.  He comes back in a few minutes really lit up.  Grabs me by the arm and drags me outside while screaming "I saw 'em, I saw 'em"

I go with him and ask: "You saw Santa's sleigh"

"Well, not exactly"

"What did you see, Matt"

"I saw Rudolph's nose"

"You did"

"Yeah!  Right there" (points)

Sure enough ...way off in the distance, Rudolphs nose can be flashing in the night.
So maybe it was the light on a radio tower.  He didn't know the difference , and I'm not about to tell.
He saw Santa's sleigh....and I think I did too.

[Strings]

wow cas... mind if I share that lil' story?

And all y'all have a cool Yule!

[Headless Thompson Gunner]

Ha!

I love Christmas at work.  Every year our company buys a bunch of professionally bakes cookies to give to all of our clients.  They're honest-to-God CHRISTMAS cookies - mangers and wisemen and angels and the like.  The boxes all have a verse or two of scripture and some unmistakably Christian sentiments printed on the outside.  It's about as un-PC as possible, just the way our boss wants it.

I always volunteer to make the deliveries.  It's a lot of fun watching the reactions when I present the cookies to a new client.  Some turn up their noses at the obvious display of religion, but most give me a sort of silent cheer.  Most people are as fed up with this anti-Christian PC crap as we are, and they're glad to see somebody who hasn't been cowed under.

It's a good feeling.    Merry Christmas everyone!