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Kids and &err&me.

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Guest:
Kids and &err&me.

Steve, let me tell you what YOUR adopted niece pulled on her Mom and Grandmother&

Larry and Chris you might want to pay attention, not sure the wives need to read this tho.

With Easter coming up , Grandma thought getting the   5 almost 6  year old a dress for the occasion would be sweet and uneventful.  Seems I am to blame for what happened, cant imagine why.

So in the nice store full, of shoppers I dont want a dress the kid says. Mom, asks sweetie why not?  You outgrew that pretty one with the bow you liked so well?

 Because all I hear is how women have to shave their legs when they got to wear dresses, I dont want to wear those stupid white hose and have to shave my legs, and I was a dumb young kid when I got that frilly dress, it is so, girlie.

Shoppers are nonchalantly getting into earshot.

Besides Mom, you are not gonna wear one, you said you were going to wear that nice business thingy with the pants and coat.

Poor Grandma intervenes Honey, I am going to wear a dress& Yeah but Grandma you have very close veins you said you hide...and them hose are old ladies hose&

Sales lady comes up, asks to assist.

Yeah, you got any pant and coat stuff like you are wearing for a kid my size?

Well, umm, let me think&is this for Easter Sunday? Sales lady asks.

Yeah, I mean yes maam.

Oh, well how do the other kids dress for Sunday school and Church?

Who cares about them the kid says Besides my Uncle Steve told me better stories than the Sunday school teacher, and she doesnt give us Cookies and Grape Kool-Aid like they did him when he was my age.

Until now the Mom and Grandma had stepped back a bit, now they came much closer to hear the stories.

 I like the one where the guy was surrounded by lions, and this other guy came waterskiing behind a whale, he snatched up the guy before the lions ate him and they were going so fast the sea parted

Hey, she is a kid, and besides I might have missed something going after more cookies and Kool-Aid as a kid back then&

So the child is modeling a smart looking business suit in charcoal gray. You got any togas? Uncle Steve said the toga was some good reading and the only toga I have seen was that movie with the food fight scene.

Sales lady looks at mom and grandma, and my name was uttered in vain .

Other shoppers made some distance when the kid said Grandma, thanks for the suit and shoes, can we go to the store that sells BBs and .22 ammo, I want to take my guns to your place and shoot with Grandpa after we eat.

Hey, I was five once, a kid has a right to be a kid. I was just passing forward as others passed forward to me at that age

Werewolf:
Great Story! Got'ny more?

P95Carry:

--- Quote ---?very close veins?Bwhahaha!  A small kid I know calls them ''Blue leg maps''!!

I was once five as well Steve (yeah - really!) - back when I could walk round the shops with my silver cap shooting revolver - trying (unsuccessfully) to scare the crap outa other shoppers! LOL.  Something I continued to attempt for probably 5 to seven more years.  Gun lived in a very ornate ''Roy Rogers'' rig - oh and I always but always wore my Sheriff's badge BTW!

Enjoyable piece Steve, as ever - thx

wasrjoe:
Hahaha, Steve, thanks for the stories.

Holly76201:
LMAO, Steve. Very cute.

I took my kids to several churches when they were little, but didn't force them to go, just made the option available to them. I had been forced to go to an old fashioned "Hell and Brimstone" Church of Christ and didn't want to inflict that particular torture on my own chirrens.

Anyway, my son was not real impressed with any religion. We're shopping in Dillard's one Easter season and he stops and says "Mom, what's with all the Easter Eggs and Jesus? I don't get it." So I tried to make sure he knew who Jesus was, and he did. So then I explained that the Pagans used to celebrate the rebirth of the earth and Nature every Spring, but when the Chrisitans came along they took it over and changed it into the story about Jesus's crucification, death for 3 days and rebirth.
At thihs point he does a reality check to make sure he understands, "So you mean Jesus is like a Zombie?"

At that point I lost it, I am standing in the middle of the aisle, doubled over with laughter, tears running down my cheeks. As I told this story to my friends, we all kept up the joke of Jesus the Zombie. I'm sure if there's a hell, all of us blasphemers are going, but Dang it was funny.  This little innocent 9 y.o. face looking up at me and asking that question.

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