Author Topic: Let boys enjoy their toys, even if they're guns and action figures  (Read 877 times)

RadioFreeSeaLab

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Let boys enjoy their toys, even if they're guns and action figures

Last week I read a report from the Washington Post titled, "Toy makers struggle to attract girls," which got me thinking about my own toy afficiandos, Ford (5) and Owen (3), who are very definitely not girls, and, as it turns out, not the subject of Margaret Webb Pressler's article either. (Apparently there is no depletion of boy toy-buyers; while girls are moving on and advancing at the speed of technology, little boys, God love 'em, are hanging on to their Spiderman action figures and super-gusher water pistols for as long as they can, or, at least until they're 20.)

You see, Pressler's piece uncovers the phenomenon of girls dismissing traditional toys by the time they are 8, and of toy makers' attempts to win them back, keeping the cash flowing straight from Mom's wallet to their own. Apparently, according to Pressler, Barbie, who has always been the classic 8- to 9-year old's toy, is now being discarded to younger sisters' closets, sisters who don't have the skilled fingers and fine motor skills to dress Barbie's irritatingly thin waist and long legs. The article points out that this pushing down - much like the way kindergarten is now first grade and preschool is kindergarten - is causing one vexing dilemma: Moms are tired of dressing Barbie for their 3-year-old daughters!

Quite honestly, I had never given this grave concern much thought. My sons' Batman and Superman have their clothes painted on them. Even the superheroes' shoes are permanently affixed to their feet. That's right, I"ve never stepped on a tiny high heel.

But boys' toys aren't as wonderful as they may seem, even though experts claim boys are more likely to stay in the toy market until they are 12, a notion with which any one married to a man would like to disagree. While moms of girls are dressing Barbie for their preschoolers and wondering why their middle-school child is more interested in Bratz, moms of boys are telling their 4-year olds, "No you can't play with that water gun. I don't care if you're pretending to be a cowboy!" Girls might be growing up, but boys are growing down.

Boys have been playing "war" and "cowboys and Indians" since the beginning of boys. Only now parents are expected to discourage such behavior. "Why don't you color a picture," we're supposed to say. "Instead of expressing your fears through aggression, Ford, why don't you share your feelings using this hand puppet."

I freely admit, I'm one of "those moms." When I sit down to play Star Wars with Ford and Owen, I make all the storm troopers hug before they march off to battle. And when my Princess Leia talks to Luke and Darth Vader about conflict resolution, let me tell you, it is legendary good-parenting stuff. Unfortunately, the boys usually kick me out of their play before I can get to the part where everyone agrees weapons are bad and donates their light sabers to others in the galaxy without electricity.

Let's face it, our boys would rather chomp on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich like a saber tooth tiger eating its prey than they would hear us say, "Chew with your mouth closed, Honey." Even my husband, who is a 30-year old child and a highly trained military pilot, does an impressive imitation of T-Rex, stomping through the house, eating imaginary pterodactyls and burping.

So my point is, according to Pressler's article, little girls are maturing faster than they should, abandoning baby dolls and soft toy puppies for things like glitter lipstick. But don't grieve for the loss of childhood just yet: apparently, boys are expected to take girls' place as the kinder, gentler sex. As much as I have tried to jump on this parenting bandwagon (I don't want to be the only mother who lets her boys play with fire-breathing dragons, do I?), my boys are hardwired to be, well, boys. I think this has something to do with their father, but I'm not sure.

Of course, it's responsible to teach children about kindness and sensitivity . . . within the context of the child's world. Because, quite honestly, Ford and Owen never even imagined people would kill one another until I brought it up, in one of my hand puppet lectures about weapons. They didn't know the words "hell" or "damn" until I told them they were bad.

So I'm giving up on the hugfest for superheroes, and I'm putting away the therapy puppets. Instead I'm letting my boys be innocent as long as they might, while staying open and available for their questions as they grow. And I'm going to be glad that Ford and Owen have the chance to remain toy-playing kids until they are 12 - maybe longer.

Oh, and also glad that they've never showed any interest in glitter lipstick.

Sarah Smiley is the author of "Shore Duty," a syndicated newspaper column, and of the memoir "Going Overboard: The Misadventures of a Military Wife." She is the wife of a Navy flight instructor living in Florida and has been a military dependent for 30 years. Her column appears weekly in The Herald.

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crt360

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Let boys enjoy their toys, even if they're guns and action figures
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2006, 01:59:12 PM »
Toys are what it's all about.  Relationships and family are fine and all, but what do most of us want to do in our spare time?  Right, play with our toys.  Why do we go to work?  To provide food, clothing and shelter for ourselves and our family?  No.  We go to work hoping that we can make enough to provide the necessities and have enough left over to buy more toys.
For entertainment purposes only.

Winston Smith

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Let boys enjoy their toys, even if they're guns and action figures
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2006, 02:21:42 PM »
I go to work because I like my job.

Yeah, that's right, I get to have fun TO have fun. Yesssssss


I guess it's all in how you look at it.
Jack
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I'm eighteen years old. I know everything and I'm invincible.
Right?