The State Department has its own dark green helicopters, right?

[vaskidmark]

A government agent pounded on my, door, demanded that I confirm my identity, and then handed me the following:

skidmark Household:

The Office of Passport Services, U.S. Department of State would like to better serve the Ameeican public's need fpr passport services in the coming months and years.  [Do they know something that I don't about my future need for a passport?]

To do this we are conducting interviews ....

....

Your household was selected [couldn't they find a better word to use?] at random. [Yeah, sure.]  In order for the rsults to be statisticall representative , it is important a person who is knowlegable about the travel habits of your household complete the survey. [Is it possible they are not sure and are looking for confirmation?]

Your participation, while voluntary [where have I heard that phrase before?] will be essential to the success of the study.  This study is estimated to take less than 10 minutes of your time and there are 2 easy ways for you to participate.

Please do one of the following before November 12, 2014:

1) ...
Enter the passcode xxxxxxx
OR
2) ...
Please have the passcode available ....

We will give you a call if we do not hear from you.

....
....

(all bold in the original)

As I see it, I have three possible courses of action:
A) Apply for a passport (I don't have a valid one at the moment and am pretty sure the ones on sale over the internet for $25 will  not stand up at a port of departure) and thus telegraph my travel plans to GTFOOD
B) Go online and enter my randomly-generated passcode that will not connect my name or other personal information with the responses I give [yeah, sure, and how much do you want for that ocean-front property in New Mexico?] and enter something like "99999" for every response
C) Wait for them to call me after November 12, 2014.  If I choose this option, should I put a note on the door that it is unlocked so they won't risk hurting themselves when it splinters open?

What I suggest is that everybody interested in divvying up my stuff meet at C&SD's place and carpool down some convenient date after November 12, 2014.  I'll leave the key to the safe under the rock next to the back door.

stay safe.

[Boomhauer]

Tell them you are planning to travel to Benghazi...

[HankB]

A government agent pounded on my, door, demanded that I confirm my identity, and then handed me the following:

Badge and ID? Which agency? Did the agent leave a business card?

[Nick1911]

As I understand it, you're not compelled to do anything.  If they call, you can simply tell them you are not interested in their survey.

[vaskidmark]

Badge and ID? Which agency? Did the agent leave a business card?

It was the mail lady.  She had a certified package I was expecting, and gave me the rest of my mail.

As I understand it, you're not compelled to do anything.  If they call, you can simply tell them you are not interested in their survey.

You, sir, are a party pooper.

stay safe.

[wmenorr67]

Tell them that you like to cross borders without papers just as others cross ours.

[Sergeant Bob]

I don't know if the State Dept. has dark green helicopters but, I do know they have (had a couple visit me in Panama) crop dusters. Any guesses as to what kind of crops they sprayed?

[KD5NRH]

C) Wait for them to call me after November 12, 2014.  If I choose this option, should I put a note on the door that it is unlocked so they won't risk hurting themselves when it splinters open?

Wall off your entryway, then pour it full of concrete.  Post videos of the attempts to ram the door open.

[Jamisjockey]

I don't know if the State Dept. has dark green helicopters but, I do know they have (had a couple visit me in Panama) crop dusters. Any guesses as to what kind of crops they sprayed?

Used for poisoning crops. 

As to what helos they have:
http://www.helis.com/database/org/us_department_of_state/
I know that when the Osprey came online, State acquired a bunch of the Marines old 46's.

[RevDisk]

Used for poisoning crops. 

As to what helos they have:
http://www.helis.com/database/org/us_department_of_state/
I know that when the Osprey came online, State acquired a bunch of the Marines old 46's.

We dug a bunch of S-61 Sea Kings out of boneyards to sell to the State Department as an alternative to ancient Soviet birds they were going to buy. For Afghanistan or other third world hell holes. Drug eradication was the main reason. Not sure about the test. I know folks on the Sea King overhaul line in Troy. Kinda fun to overhaul 50 year old helicopters with new wiring and engines, apparently.

[vaskidmark]

Just to let all y'all know - I am still thumbing my nose at The Department of State.  I have refused to participate in a voluntary survey, even with the coercive statement that "We will call you if we don't hear from you."

Now I realize that it is just a few days past the deadline, but no helicopters that I am aware of, nobody kicking in the door after throwing flashbangs through the windows (possibly because I don't have an infant in a crib next to any of the windows?).

Long live the revolution!  Death to tyrants!  They'll get my opinions when they pry them out of my cold dead brain!

stay safe.

[never_retreat]

I saw a friend of facebook post something the other day about a census worker showing up at his house and leave a note.
He called the number on it and they could barely speak english. I told them to f off and hung up.
Not sure why census is 5 years away.

[Scout26]

The census will do various surveys and special censuses for any number of reasons.  Most have to do with money.

[vaskidmark]

Another invitation, hand-delivered by a government agent.  (The mail lady put it in the box.)

The deadline has been extended by two weeks, the notice of voluntary participation comes earlier, and the threat that they will call me remains and is again bolded in the original.  Does not look like I'l be having company dropping in for Thanksgiving.  (Darn!)

stay safe.

[KD5NRH]

The deadline has been extended by two weeks, the notice of voluntary participation comes earlier, and the threat that they will call me remains and is again bolded in the original.  Does not look like I'l be having company dropping in for Thanksgiving.  (Darn!)

You need some advance notice of the visit so you can borrow a buttload of kids, and maybe an extra wife or two.

[vaskidmark]

You need some advance notice of the visit so you can borrow a buttload of kids, and maybe an extra wife or two.

If I had all that, there would be no room at The Children's Table for the SWATers.  They would be banished to a picnic table in the yard - except I have no picnic table.

stay safe.

[KD5NRH]

If I had all that, there would be no room at The Children's Table for the SWATers.  They would be banished to a picnic table in the yard - except I have no picnic table.

Card table and folding chairs sinking unevenly into the dirt.

You are going for the Phil Robertson facial hair look too, right?

[vaskidmark]

Got no card table or folding chairs.  Not going to try to borrow any from the VFW either.  They can balance paper plates (the really thin ones that leak) and red plastic drink cups while squatting on some of those folding camp stools.  But I will see if I can get some extra sporks from KFC - theirs seem to break easier than anybody else's.

stay safe.

[KD5NRH]

Got no card table or folding chairs.  Not going to try to borrow any from the VFW either.  They can balance paper plates (the really thin ones that leak) and red plastic drink cups while squatting on some of those folding camp stools.  But I will see if I can get some extra sporks from KFC - theirs seem to break easier than anybody else's.

Call the LDS missionaries and ask if they can snag you some forks.  Rarely made it through a potluck without losing at least one tine off a fork.  OTOH, carrying chopsticks in my suit jackets has come in handy a few other times too.

Just remember when you're borrowing extra wives that the more you have, the less attractive any particular one can be.  If you get too many, they're going to start looking like jamisjockey.

[Boomhauer]

OTOH, carrying chopsticks in my suit jackets has come in handy a few other times too.

You are the first person I've met that carries chopsticks as part of a suit...

[vaskidmark]

Call the LDS missionaries....

I'm not allowed to speak to the LDS missionaries.  Local Bishop came to my door and told me my behavior was unacceptable.

I still don't get it.  They were in the neighborhood in the summer.  It was hot/humid out.  In the goodness of my heart I invited them to come in to the AC, rest a while.  I offered them their choice of Coca Cola, ginger ale, beer, or iced coffee.  They do their trolling for souls thing and I ask if they would mind if I got down my own copy of The Book Of Macaroni to check some of the stuff they are tellling me.  (It's dogeared, has color-coded underlining, and I use a stick of jerky for a bookmark.)

Next thing I know they are running out the door, and a day later the Bishop shows up.  So much for brotherhood.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgASBVMyVFI

stay safe.

[KD5NRH]

You are the first person I've met that carries chopsticks as part of a suit...

Usually the stainless takedown set, but sometimes I just drop a pair of wooden ones in there.  Never know when you might need to pick up something hot, or just want to eat Chinese food properly.

I offered them their choice of Coca Cola, ginger ale, beer, or iced coffee.

Heck, I've heard stories of that happening with active members.