Let me give just a tiny bit of advice here.
If someone you know, yea that's it, someone you know decides to pleasure themselves anally with a glass banana do no expect the string you taped on it for retrieval to remain taped in place, after all it is kind of "steamy" up there. Once you are left holding the short end of the string in your slippery paw do not and I repeat DO NOT attempt to retrieve the banana with a screw driver, nope, don't do it. Just hitch up your pants and walk, how ever funny that walk of shame may be, to the nearest ER. If you just swallow your pride there is a good chance you won't be pooping into a bag for a few months while your natural exit, which is now no longer an exit, heals.
Just sayin' you know, just in case.
bob
