Author Topic: Insistent panhandler  (Read 8324 times)

Monkeyleg

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Insistent panhandler
« on: April 07, 2017, 03:13:57 PM »
I was coming out of Home Depot and headed towards my car today when a panhandler came up to me. He gave me the usual story about him and his wife needing to get to Birmingham (why is it always Birmingham?).

I told him I didn't have any cash, just credit cards. He asked if I could go to an ATM. I said I had to get back to work. He then asked if I could give him a ride to the supermarket (probably another good place to panhandle). I said no. He kept insisting. I finally said okay, but realized as soon as he got in the car that I had put myself in a potentially dangerous situation.

He complimented me on my car, and then said with a car like that, I could afford to give him money. I told him it was ten years old and was paid for nine years ago, and that I didn't have any money. I let him out in the supermarket parking lot, and thanked God that it didn't get any worse than annoying.

I've always been a soft touch for panhandlers. I don't know why, but I'm always mad at myself afterwards, as they probably have more money than me.

Fly320s

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2017, 03:20:19 PM »
Just say no.

That is always my answer no matter what they say.  A stern "no" and keep walking.
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2017, 03:52:58 PM »
I was coming out of Home Depot and headed towards my car today when a panhandler came up to me. He gave me the usual story about him and his wife needing to get to Birmingham (why is it always Birmingham?).

I told him I didn't have any cash, just credit cards. He asked if I could go to an ATM. I said I had to get back to work. He then asked if I could give him a ride to the supermarket (probably another good place to panhandle). I said no. He kept insisting. I finally said okay, but realized as soon as he got in the car that I had put myself in a potentially dangerous situation.

He complimented me on my car, and then said with a car like that, I could afford to give him money...


If I had let the guy in my car to begin with, I think I would have pulled over and booted him out right about there. I may even have done it literally.
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grampster

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2017, 04:09:48 PM »
Panhandlers are always disconcerting.  One never know when one is in the presence of angels. 

If the panhandler is not obviously drunk or stoned, I'll generally give them a buck or three.  My view on giving money is that once it leaves my hand into his hand, what he does with it is on him, not me.  This is my answer to those who say the guy/gal will spend the money on booze/drugs.

A few weeks ago in KW a rather oddly dressed character (tight shorts, halter top and a cape and tiara...he was a guy) was coming down the street greeting everyone with a song and asking for $2.00.  I gave him a $5.  He sang us a couple of verses of his song in thanks and then proceeded to tell everyone else about his good fortune as we walked along for a couple blocks.  It was humorous.....well maybe you had to be there.  I saw the guy a couple times after and he never appeared drunk.

A couple of weeks later a guy was standing in Walgreens with a wine bottle in his hand, obviously drunk, asking for a handout.  I passed on him.

The best panhandler story is when I gave a legless guy in a wheelchair $20 bucks.  When I walked by him he asked for a buck.  I told him I didn't have a buck and crossed the street.  My conscience started to bother me, so I walked back across the street.  I said "You wanted a buck and I said I didn't have a buck, I wasn't lying, but I do have a $20" and gave it to him.  He thanked me profusely, blessed me, spun his wheelchair around and went into the Starbucks that was on the corner.  After a couple of seconds for that to sink in, I walked and laughed out loud for about a block.  I wondered maybe if the guy never before had the cash to splurge on Starbucks coffee.  It was a rich moment.
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RoadKingLarry

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2017, 04:18:08 PM »
I was coming out of Home Depot and headed towards my car today when a panhandler came up to me. He gave me the usual story about him and his wife needing to get to Birmingham (why is it always Birmingham?).

I told him I didn't have any cash, just credit cards. He asked if I could go to an ATM. I said I had to get back to work. He then asked if I could give him a ride to the supermarket (probably another good place to panhandle). I said no. He kept insisting. I finally said okay, but realized as soon as he got in the car that I had put myself in a potentially dangerous situation.

He complimented me on my car, and then said with a car like that, I could afford to give him money. I told him it was ten years old and was paid for nine years ago, and that I didn't have any money. I let him out in the supermarket parking lot, and thanked God that it didn't get any worse than annoying.

I've always been a soft touch for panhandlers. I don't know why, but I'm always mad at myself afterwards, as they probably have more money than me.


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K Frame

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2017, 04:29:28 PM »
Couple of years ago I was heading home from work outside the metro when this probably 20 something kid claiming to be a college student hit me up for cash. Said his father had had a heart attack and he needed to get back to his dorm.

Just didn't ring true to me (I'm a skeptic), so he asked to use my phone... Nope, sorry, it's a government phone. I did give him a cigarette.

About a month later I was heading home and was at a different metro stop in Virginia, and he hits me up again, with the EXACT SAME STORY.

He didn't recognize me at all. I told him his father should ask the doctors why he was having a heart attack a month, and if he was really on that kind of schedule, maybe the son ought to put some money away for heart attack travel day...
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KD5NRH

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2017, 04:33:00 PM »
He complimented me on my car, and then said with a car like that, I could afford to give him money.

I'd likely have tossed him out after pointing out that with all that time to panhandle, he could find some way to earn money.

K Frame

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2017, 04:38:31 PM »
The only "panhandler" I ever willingly helped was an older Indian/Bengali/Pakistani guy, probably in his 70s, carrying a bag of groceries, who asked me for a ride back to his house about 2 miles away if I was going his way.

I wasn't, but I had seen him shopping, he had standard groceries, including some perishable stuff, and it was BRUTALLY hot and humid. So I gladly drove him to his place. He thanked me profusely, offered me a soda (which I declined as I had my own perishables), and felt good about it.

I also had .38 in my pants pocket so I wasn't too worried.
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K Frame

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2017, 04:39:02 PM »
I'd likely have tossed him out after pointing out that with all that time to panhandle, he could find some way to earn money.

Yep. GTFO the car, pal.
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KD5NRH

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2017, 05:43:16 PM »
The only "panhandler" I ever willingly helped was an older Indian/Bengali/Pakistani guy, probably in his 70s, carrying a bag of groceries, who asked me for a ride back to his house about 2 miles away if I was going his way.

I've helped out a few who were looking longingly at the McDonalds dollar menu, or had their card declined for $10 worth of gas, (paid for their gas directly, just to be sure) and I've handed food to a few of the "hungry, please help" ones only to get dirty looks in return.  (Generally offered them the burger first, and if they weren't appreciative, I had myself an extra drink and fries.)  Even thought I'd be mistaken for a taxi after stopping to pick up folks I recognized from my time riding the Dallas buses and trains when I saw they'd missed their regular bus.

I don't mind helping someone out of a momentary issue, but if you're making a career of panhandling and/or welfare, GFY.

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2017, 07:44:33 PM »
Normally I don't give to panhandlers, as the majority of them IMNSHO are frauds.  A few months back after a trip to the Hickory Home Despot, I stopped at the Five Guys across the street for a burger and fries.  A young, ragged looking homeless couple hit me up in the parking lot for a few bucks, intimating they wanted to get something to eat.  They were very polite in their asking, not rude or pushy at all.
I had just seen them coming out of Five Guys looking a bit dejected, so I thought they might be telling the truth in this case.
I told the couple that I didn't have any cash on me, but offered to buy them lunch there at Five Guys. (I usually don't carry much cash.)
They took me up on it, and were quite grateful.
We walked inside, and after letting the guy behind the counter know their lunch was on me, I told couple not to worry and just order whatever they wanted.  They each ordered a good burger and fries combo with a drink and ate like they were genuinely hungry.
I felt pretty good about the whole episode for the rest of the day.  My wife said God brought us together just so I could help them out.  She's probably right.
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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2017, 08:11:22 PM »
Had one dense *expletive deleted*tard try to beg money off of me twice within 5 minutes...and he's done it twice. All in all, I've run into the guy probably 10-12 times in total now. Always the same schtick, and when I call him out, he just *expletive deleted*ing grins like it's the funniest thing in the world.
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BlueStarLizzard

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2017, 08:28:56 PM »
I drive a different way home now and the only thing I hate about it is that it puts me making a left at an intersection where the local panhandlers set up shop everyday. I'm pretty sure they are organized and have a schedule and I know this, not only because of how well they keep the "good spots" occupied with a good rotation but also because one of them is the special needs kid of some of my Dad's friends (whole 'nother horrible story that makes me want to strangle some people) and he was basically one of several that had a panhandler version of a pimp.

Anyway, I really hate them. They stand there and try to force eye contact and if you even glance at them they are likely to approach your car. Plus, I always have my drivers side window at least cracked and, now that it's warmer, I have it down. The other day one came up to talk to me and then got pissy at me because I told him that I was made very uncomfortable by him approaching my car.
Panhandlers are like the ultimate combo of all the things I don't like in strangers. I don't like being ambushed, I don't like being centered out, I generally don't like talking to any stranger and I'm going to say no to them no matter what and I don't like IRL conflict. Plus, I get really antzy around any man that smells like booze unless I know them pretty well.

The only one I ever considered giving money too had a sign that said his spaceship had broken down and he needed money to fix it. That one actually made me laugh but I had a green light. I've seen the same guy again, but he switched signs and the new ones aren't funny.
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Monkeyleg

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2017, 09:07:16 PM »
I saw a couple in a Walmart parking lot with a huge mofo RV, and not a cheap one, panhandling for gas money.

In Atlanta, at the end of an exit ramp to a posh area, a group of guys will post at different corners, all with "homeless vet" signs. I'm guessing they work as a team, and probably aren't even vets.

dm1333

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #14 on: April 07, 2017, 09:17:42 PM »
I drive a different way home now and the only thing I hate about it is that it puts me making a left at an intersection where the local panhandlers set up shop everyday. I'm pretty sure they are organized and have a schedule and I know this, not only because of how well they keep the "good spots" occupied with a good rotation but also because one of them is the special needs kid of some of my Dad's friends (whole 'nother horrible story that makes me want to strangle some people) and he was basically one of several that had a panhandler version of a pimp.

Anyway, I really hate them. They stand there and try to force eye contact and if you even glance at them they are likely to approach your car. Plus, I always have my drivers side window at least cracked and, now that it's warmer, I have it down. The other day one came up to talk to me and then got pissy at me because I told him that I was made very uncomfortable by him approaching my car.
Panhandlers are like the ultimate combo of all the things I don't like in strangers. I don't like being ambushed, I don't like being centered out, I generally don't like talking to any stranger and I'm going to say no to them no matter what and I don't like IRL conflict. Plus, I get really antzy around any man that smells like booze unless I know them pretty well.

The only one I ever considered giving money too had a sign that said his spaceship had broken down and he needed money to fix it. That one actually made me laugh but I had a green light. I've seen the same guy again, but he switched signs and the new ones aren't funny.

They absolutely do organize and figure out who is getting what spot.  I've witnessed it myself along with having local LE and charity workers tell me that they do this.  Eight years in CA has left me numb to panhandlers, all they get from me is "GTF out of my way"

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #15 on: April 07, 2017, 10:40:31 PM »
I figure I ain't smart enough to tell the difference between those who are in real need and those who are grifting me.  So I leave it to others to dope it out.  I got hit up by panhandlers countless times downtown, so I'm kind of sick of it.
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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #16 on: April 07, 2017, 10:53:27 PM »
I've helped out a few who were looking longingly at the McDonalds dollar menu, or had their card declined for $10 worth of gas, (paid for their gas directly, just to be sure) and I've handed food to a few of the "hungry, please help" ones only to get dirty looks in return.  (Generally offered them the burger first, and if they weren't appreciative, I had myself an extra drink and fries.)  Even thought I'd be mistaken for a taxi after stopping to pick up folks I recognized from my time riding the Dallas buses and trains when I saw they'd missed their regular bus.

I don't mind helping someone out of a momentary issue, but if you're making a career of panhandling and/or welfare, GFY.

Those are a little different. If they're not asking, but you're offering, that's really paying it forward in my mind.

The ones who want food, but then give you a ration of crap, REALLY piss me off.

Had one of those near my office in DC. Black lady, used to swing by a couple of times a month and would ask for money to "get something to eat."

I never carry money (or very little if I do) so I can honestly say sorry, nope. One of the other guys on my contract got hit up (I was outside smoking) and he said he was going to Subway and she should come along and he'd be very happy to buy her a sub...

She got kind of shifty and hesitant, and then said she didn't like Subway, just give her the money instead.

He didn't because we both knew that she wasn't hungry for food... she wanted some cash to hit up the liquor store that was a block down the street.
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K Frame

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #17 on: April 07, 2017, 10:58:24 PM »
The one that really bugged me was the older guy who was sitting outside the metro stop where I got off.

Never asked anyone for anything (unlike the one who came up to me and demanded $20 one day), just sat at the top of the stairs with a sign that said "Disabled WW II Vet. Please help."

I always wondered if he was what he claimed to be, but in this day and age, I just don't trust anyone anymore. I help the service organizations like Salvation Army and the like, but I'm just not inclined to help individuals anymore. Supposedly in the DC area a significant number of them are outright frauds.
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lupinus

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #18 on: April 08, 2017, 09:35:32 AM »
I had one on Christmas Eve desperate. DESPERATE I TELL YOU! To get to his daughters in Atlanta two hours away and if I could pleassssse spare just five bucks for gas?

I offered to swipe my card and fill his tank, little car so probably would have been pretty cheap. Oddly enough a full tank of gas wasn't going to help him more than five bucks in cash. He started with some attitude and he got the hint when I told him to get lost.

I hate panhandlers. What I hate even more are frauds. And nine times out of ten it seems the two are one in the same.


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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #19 on: April 08, 2017, 10:49:36 AM »
. . . Anyway, I really hate them. They stand there and try to force eye contact and if you even glance at them they are likely to approach your car. Plus, I always have my drivers side window at least cracked and, now that it's warmer, I have it down. The other day one came up to talk to me and then got pissy at me because I told him that I was made very uncomfortable by him approaching my car . . .
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Austin, TX has plenty of pan handlers. One of my "favorites" was the woman who was continuously and uninterruptedly 8 months pregnant for 3 straight years.   :O
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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #20 on: April 08, 2017, 11:05:52 AM »
As in past topics on the subject, my opinion hasn't changed. Like Mike, barring being absolutely sure about the veracity of an individual panhandler, I give my money to the Salvation Army and similar. Any panhandler that is truly starving can go there and get a meal, no problem.

I don't mind panhandlers who just sit there with a sign and don't bother anyone. Like Liz, I. CANNOT. STAND. the "gimme money" people that get in your face and follow you. I'm pretty big and often look angry, so I don't have a problem with the following, but I can see how uncomfortable that would make Liz and many others.

I've mentioned before the homeless guy that used to sit at the Santa Barbara harbor. He was one of the okay ones who just sat with a sign reading a book. People often brought him meals. He also, usually a couple of times of day, had to empty out his money jar because it got full, so I think he was making a pretty good living.

I used to get a kick out of offering gas or food to the people asking me for that - a couple of times when they had a gas can in their hands - and listening to their excuses about why money would be more helpful (I didn't give them any). I don't have the time for that anymore. I have a lot more respect for the people with shopping carts looking for cans and bottles - at least they're trying to make a living.
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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #21 on: April 08, 2017, 11:13:01 AM »
In my job, I have a fair amount of interaction with local law enforcement and social service agencies.  They consistently tell me that the majority of the local panhandlers are doing it for money to buy drugs, most commonly heroin.  Since I am seeing these same people in my clinics for medical/dental care, I agree.
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K Frame

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #22 on: April 08, 2017, 11:32:28 AM »
Now let's talk about the people who feel obligated to help panhandlers...

Many years ago I was in DC for something, and was walking up to a metro (panhandlers used to really congregate around the metro; still do, but not as much anymore, I think many have moved to street corners).

This guy was sitting there, and I have no doubt that he was both homeless AND more than a little nuts. He was authentic, and he both stank of the street and insanity.

This probably middle 50ish woman, short, fat, very plain, clothes that made it pretty apparent that she was a hippy survivor of the late 1960s early 1970s, rushes up to him with cash and hand.

To my dying day I'll remember exactly what she said --- "Oh you poor man, may I be PERMITTED to help you?"

I've always had the gut feeling that if you were to really sit down and talk with her, it would have been an endless litany of what today is known as white privilege having abused this poor, noble man (because of racism!) and forced him onto the streets because evil white male oppressor conservatives...



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K Frame

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #23 on: April 08, 2017, 11:41:05 AM »
In the late 1980s I was regularly going to visit my now ex-wife in New York. I'd often take the train, which required jumping from Penn Station to Grand Central via cab.

There were always tons of guys standing around the tax stands waiting to hold the doors to the cabs for you for a tip. OK, no big deal, they were pleasant.

Once you got into Grand Central, though, it was like a gauntlet.

My ex-MIL had a guy come up to her, demand money, and when she refused he got REALLY loud and aggressive, right in the middle of the concourse. I got in between them and was trying to back us off, really thinking I was going to get hurt, when security came in and nabbed the guy.

Supposedly that white oppressor privilege bastard Giuliania really cracked down on aggressive panhandling in NYC, especially Grand Central, when he was mayor.

Once my ex met me at Grand Central and she surprised me by taking me to dinner at the Oyster Bar. It was tasty, it was pretty expensive, but overall it was a really neat experience. Unfortunately, getting to it required walking down a corridor that was essentially vacant except for the Oyster Bar. And when the bar was closed, it was apparently the toilet for the pan handlers. The reek of piss, with a strong undercurrent of *expletive deleted*it, was just nasty.
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Declaration Day

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Re: Insistent panhandler
« Reply #24 on: April 08, 2017, 11:56:14 AM »
Oh, do I have beggar stories.

With the exception of my solo trip to Las Vegas a year and a half ago, I don't hand out cash any more.  ( I was just in a really happy and generous mood.  Vegas will do that to you).

One late night at a gas station just outside of Detroit, a 30-something woman pulled up to a pump while I was putting gas in my car.  She claimed to be pregnant, that her boyfriend kicked her out, and she needed gas to get to her parents' house.  I suspected she might have been full of crap, but I offered to put $5 in her tank.  I walked into the store and paid the clerk $5 for the pump where she parked.  As I was walking out, she walked in and said "I wonder if they have a bathroom here."  What she really did was ask the clerk for the $5.  He said no, that she had to put the gas in her car.  I learned this because I went back in to buy a drink, and the clerk says she does this all the time.

Another time, at a nearby gas station, there was a disheveled looking man holding a 2 gallon gas can loitering in the lot.  He asked for a few bucks so he could buy gas, and I gave it to him.  He didn't even wait until I left; he started asking other people for a few bucks for gas, within clear earshot of me.

This third one is a bit different.  Bright sunny day, probably 70 degrees out.  I had just parked my truck at a local grocery store.  Within seconds of exiting my truck, a man drove up to me on an electric scooter, quickly enough that it caught me off guard.  I ordered him to stop and moved my hand near my concealed pistol.  He looked to be in his 40s and seemed to be quite able-bodied.  He then told me the battery was dead on his scooter (clearly it was not) and that he needed a ride two miles to his house.  He could have easily walked it home.  I declined and went on my way.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I worked as a valet.  The company I worked for had several accounts, including one where nobody ever wanted to work: The Pretty Woman at 7 mile and Van Dyke in Detroit.  It was bad.  All evening, I'd have people walking by trying to sell drugs or stolen merchandise.  Fortunately, I rarely got stuck working there.  So this big black dude came walking by, trying to get me to give him a dollar.  He was clearly high on something.  After refusing him several times, he said "I tell you what.  You just give it to me to hold on to, and when my white woman comes to pick me up across the street, I'll give it back."   ??? :lol: