They came for my front porch!

[Kingcreek]

Rotten little porch eating vermin b@stards!



Red fox squirrels. I live in a wooded area with oaks and walnut trees everywhere. I don't know why they want to chew the hell out of my cedar porch rails and posts. Some they leave untouched and others are splinters. The squirrel hunting season is not currently open in Illinois so I most definitely did NOT shoot 4 of them off the porch yesterday and I probably did not shoot several others on previous occaisions. The 12g hulls littering the landscaping are from last fall.
Any suggestions are welcome except the inevitable detcord one.

[Perd Hapley]

Any suggestions are welcome except the inevitable detcord one.

But have you considered detcord?

[KD5NRH]

Crock pot.  Stewed long enough, they're not so stringy.

[Kingcreek]

But have you considered detcord?

High speed lead injections seem to discourage them but I would love to find something to keep them from damaging any that I eventually replace. There is a brush on cayenne formula on the market but my understanding is you have to keep reapplying it and results are mixed.
This covered porch is 58 feet long with 9 support posts and a lot of rail. It weren't cheap.

[HeroHog]

Deconstructed bug zapper. One or two hits and anything with wire mesh on/near it will be avoided like the plague.

[HeroHog]

and, there's always this: https://youtu.be/l3Ya6z-NlDo     

[K Frame]

I recommend deconstructing the bug zapper with...

det cord.

[Frank Castle]

I found the best thing keep pest away, a hyper dog.

[KD5NRH]

High speed lead injections seem to discourage them but I would love to find something to keep them from damaging any that I eventually replace.

Know anybody with a metal lathe?  Bet you can make posts and rails they're not going to chew on for long.

[BlueStarLizzard]

A serious suggestion:

Put something on the wood to make it taste bad? IDK what, exactly, because I don't know what wouldn't hurt the ceder or what kind of finish you have on it.
Just spit balling, but maybe something like diluted clove oil made up into a spray?

[zxcvbob]

A serious suggestion:

Put something on the wood to make it taste bad? IDK what, exactly, because I don't know what wouldn't hurt the ceder or what kind of finish you have on it.
Just spit balling, but maybe something like diluted clove oil made up into a spray?

Bitrex spray.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denatonium  I think it's sometimes called "bitter apple"

[Kingcreek]

any applied spray would have to be reapplied frequently and completely cover all 58 feet worth. That was the purpose of the cayenne formula.
I also don't like that they are going to have to eat it to taste it. Maybe there is an arsenic or cyanide stain?

[KD5NRH]

any applied spray would have to be reapplied frequently and completely cover all 58 feet worth. That was the purpose of the cayenne formula.
I also don't like that they are going to have to eat it to taste it. Maybe there is an arsenic or cyanide stain?

Maybe you can rig up a really small version of https://www.aphis.usda.gov/publications/wildlife_damage/content/printable_version/fs_m44_device.pdf

[Marnoot]

[Scout26]

Did you smear peanut butter on your front porch ?!?!?!   Holy crap did they tear it up.  


I can think of no other option then full scale nuclear war, although an air rifle might cause less noise then your on-going practice with an shotgun.


APS does not advocate or condone illegal activities.
 

[Kingcreek]

Noise is not a problem. We can't even see our closest neighbor's place and he hates the damn things anyway since they ate the wiring harness out of his pickup. We hear each other shooting at anytime day or night (coyotes) and think nothing of it.
My wife opens the door and yells at them. I open the door followed by loud booming noise. They usually take off at mach 1 when the deadbolt clicks so I would have to get them on the run to the creek or tree line at the edge of the yard (if I were actually shooting them).

[lupinus]

Have you considered ninjas?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[KD5NRH]

APS does not advocate or condone illegal activities.

Which is why I only suggested a method used by the Federal government to control other nuisance animals.

[RoadKingLarry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI6aMY8OS2g

[Scout26]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elupFNLJrIA


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZztIdU1fbEQ

[MikeB]

Det cord is the usual go to for APS, but this really seems to be a better fit for claymores.  

To be more serious have you considered trapping or just too many of them for that to make a difference?

[230RN]

1.  If you ever get a chance, pull out the flyback transformer from an old TV set or monitor.  Real handy thing to just "have around."  For all legal purposes, of course.  Just don't break the damned CRT tube.

2.  Regarding noise, a friend of mine borrowed a pump-up Crosman for defending his city garden against squirrels.  I warned him about the noise attracting the ire of neighbors.  When I saw him again later, he said one neighbor spotted him dispatching them and thanked him.  His garden apparently became the neighborhood squirrel "sink."

3.  I'd have put a wide-mouthed steeply sloped funnel under the squirrel zapper going into a squirrel-proof container to avoid sprinkling feed on the ground.  Loved the musical background in that zapper one.

4.  I couldn't quite tell how that squirrrelapult was triggered --manually?

5. Obligatory, in spite of OP's prohibition, and for all legal purposes, of course:

[Frank Castle]

https://www.amazon.com/Orbit-62100-Enforcer-Activated-Sprinkler/dp/B009F1R0GC

[freakazoid]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTs7VRFV36c
 

[HeroHog]

Serious suggestion I found
https://youtu.be/yTVVS5Sk5Zk