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Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 15930 times)
MechAg94
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« on: October 02, 2019, 04:54:08 AM »

I saw a few stories on Babylon Bee that didn't fit any current discussion. 

https://babylonbee.com/news/survey-10-out-of-10-nazi-scientists-do-not-recommend-opening-the-ark-of-the-covenant
Survey: 10 Out Of 10 Nazi Scientists Do Not Recommend Opening The Ark Of The Covenant

Quote
At publishing time, they had also recommended against watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
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MechAg94
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« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2019, 04:55:18 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/nations-civil-war-reenactors-been-waiting-for-this-moment-their-entire-lives
Nation's Civil War Reenactors Have Been Preparing For This Moment Their Entire Lives

Quote
U.S.—After Trump tweeted about a civil war, the nation's Civil War reenactors excitedly began mobilizing, reporting that they have been waiting for this exact moment their entire lives.

Quote
Unfortunately, Trump then tweeted, "Lol jk," making the reenactors sad. They say their time will still come at some point in the future however, and when it does, they'll be ready.
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MechAg94
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« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2019, 04:57:04 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-opens-first-restaurant-in-megachurch-foyer-still-closed-sundays
Chick-Fil-A Opens First Restaurant In Megachurch Foyer, Still Closed Sundays

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MechAg94
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« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2019, 04:58:23 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-warn-we-have-only-12-years-left-until-they-change-the-dates-on-global-warming-again
Experts Warn We Have Only 12 Years Left Until They Change The Timeline On Global Warming Again


Quote
"Should we not change our ways, our old predictions will melt, dangerously raising the chance of us having to move the goalposts again," said Al Gore. "Do you really want me to write another book, film another movie, and go on another tour in my private jet just because you dingbats couldn't be bothered to alter your lifestyles? I don't think so. Let's all get on board with this 12-year figure, or we'll have to push back the date again."
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Mike Irwin
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« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2019, 05:27:30 AM »

Opening chick filet stores in church lobbies would work  For them as a business move if they opened and 7th day Adventist churches.

O, wait…

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Fly320s
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« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2019, 05:29:15 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-warn-we-have-only-12-years-left-until-they-change-the-dates-on-global-warming-again
Experts Warn We Have Only 12 Years Left Until They Change The Timeline On Global Warming Again



That is a winner.
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Islamic sex dolls.  Do they blow themselves up?
MechAg94
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« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2019, 06:29:05 AM »

Opening chick filet stores in church lobbies would work  For them as a business move if they opened and 7th day Adventist churches.

O, wait…

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
The larger Churches would have better parking.
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Angel Eyes
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« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2019, 07:01:29 AM »

The larger Churches would have better parking.

Two words: drive through.
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MechAg94
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« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2019, 07:33:27 AM »

Two words: drive through.

Have you seen the Chick-fil-A drive through?  They disrupt traffic all around them due to the number cars in line or those waiting to get in line.  That is the case down here at least.  Even at off times like mid-afternoon, the lines can be long.  They often are efficient and move the cars through pretty fast, but the lines are still long.
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cordex
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« Reply #9 on: October 02, 2019, 07:37:42 AM »

Have you seen the Chick-fil-A drive through?  They disrupt traffic all around them due to the number cars in line or those waiting to get in line.  That is the case down here at least.  Even at off times like mid-afternoon, the lines can be long.  They often are efficient and move the cars through pretty fast, but the lines are still long.
Yep.  They added a second drive through line at the local store, plus have four people outside taking orders on tablets, and another person outside the window handing things over faster.

Still a long line.
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fistful
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« Reply #10 on: October 02, 2019, 09:46:35 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/saudi-arabia-closes-down-new-chick-fil-a-location-for-disappointing-lack-of-homophobia

Since I joined their headline forum, I can't always remember which ones made it to the public side. Somewhere there was a line about one of the pres. candidates promising, if elected president, they'd impeach Trump.   cheesy
« Last Edit: October 02, 2019, 10:11:30 AM by fistful » Report to moderator   Logged

Republican: Woke since 1854
230RN
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« Reply #11 on: October 02, 2019, 10:03:06 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-opens-first-restaurant-in-megachurch-foyer-still-closed-sundays
Chick-Fil-A Opens First Restaurant In Megachurch Foyer, Still Closed Sundays

 
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Mike Irwin
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« Reply #12 on: October 03, 2019, 05:17:29 PM »

The larger Churches would have better parking.

7th Day Adventists hold their services on Saturdays.

The problem with this particular business model is, however, that many 7th Day Adventists are vegetarians/vegans.
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Doggy Daddy
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« Reply #13 on: October 03, 2019, 06:20:05 PM »

7th Day Adventists hold their services on Saturdays.

The problem with this particular business model is, however, that many 7th Day Adventists are vegetarians/vegans.

So, tofucken sammiches.  (pronounced toe foo kin, oh ye of filthy minds)
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MechAg94
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« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2019, 06:41:32 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/unable-to-compete-with-reality-babylon-bee-founder-starts-real-news-site
Unable To Compete With Reality, Babylon Bee Founder Starts Real News Site


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Hawkmoon
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« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2019, 06:51:56 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-registry-allows-engaged-sex-couples-choose-christian-florist-put-business


https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-it-may-be-too-late-to-halt-climate-change-town-hall-on-cnn
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MechAg94
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« Reply #16 on: October 06, 2019, 01:11:08 PM »

Quote
At publishing time, experts were revising their predictions, claiming that future climate change town halls could still be avoided if everyone followed the climate change advocates’ advice to “do as we say, not as we do.”
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French G.
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ohhh sparkles!


« Reply #17 on: October 06, 2019, 06:35:06 PM »

I couldn't figure out why I liked the Bee so much, took me a long time to realize the guy behind it was Frank Fleming of imao.us nuke the moon fame. I loved that site.
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AKA Navy Joe   

I'm so contrarian that I didn't respond to the thread.
Hawkmoon
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« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2019, 01:09:06 AM »

I couldn't figure out why I liked the Bee so much, took me a long time to realize the guy behind it was Frank Fleming of imao.us nuke the moon fame. I loved that site.

 Huh?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Babylon_Bee

Quote
The Babylon Bee was created by Adam Ford and was launched on March 1, 2016. In 2018, Ford sold the website to Seth Dillon, “a successful businessman who uses his resources for Kingdom purposes." In a public announcement published on his personal website, Ford cited several reasons for the sale, including his discomfort with the power wielded by social media companies like Facebook over creators and their perceived anti-conservative and anti-Christian bias. He wrote that "Facebook has the power to kill publishers, and they do, not only based on publishing techniques, but based on worldview. Just think about that.”

At the time of the website's sale, Kyle Mann, who had been head writer since September 2016, became editor in chief. In 2019, Ethan Nicolle, creator of Axe Cop, was brought on as Creative Director.

I don't see any mention of Frank Fleming.
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Hawkmoon
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« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2019, 01:17:34 AM »

Speaking of the Babylon Bee ...

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-gun-debate-flash-cards-get-you-through-arguments-with-speed-and-efficiency

Order your cards now so you'll be sure to have them when the anti-gun relatives come over for Thanksgiving dinner.
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brimic
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« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2019, 03:22:15 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/unable-to-compete-with-reality-babylon-bee-founder-starts-real-news-site
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MechAg94
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« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2019, 05:55:54 AM »

Speaking of the Babylon Bee ...

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-gun-debate-flash-cards-get-you-through-arguments-with-speed-and-efficiency

Order your cards now so you'll be sure to have them when the anti-gun relatives come over for Thanksgiving dinner.
They should print those on playing cards so we can have gun debate poker night.  

Or put the gun debate for/against on two suites and the abortion debate on the other two.  Guaranteed to liven up a party and make sure everyone goes home friends.   grin
« Last Edit: October 07, 2019, 12:01:41 PM by MechAg94 » Report to moderator   Logged

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MechAg94
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« Reply #22 on: October 07, 2019, 12:44:20 PM »

This one may just deserve its own thread.

https://babylonbee.com/news/un-warns-climate-change-will-destroy-earth-by-2005
UN Warns Climate Change Will Destroy Earth By 2005

Quote
When several scientific researchers pointed out that 2005 came and went 13 years ago, they were informed that the earth was actually destroyed, everybody was killed, and we are all actually ghosts.

"Every person on the planet is now a spirit who was killed over a decade ago by climate change," said a UN spokesperson. "And anyone who does not believe this will be labeled a ghost science denier."
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Angel Eyes
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« Reply #23 on: October 07, 2019, 04:17:19 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-worried-if-impeachment-fails-theyll-have-to-nominate-electable-candidate

Nah . . . it'll never happen . . .
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MechAg94
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« Reply #24 on: October 08, 2019, 04:58:25 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-criticized-for-breaking-longstanding-american-tradition-of-remaining-in-middle-eastern-countries-indefinitely
Trump Criticized For Breaking With Longstanding American Tradition Of Remaining In Middle Eastern Countries Indefinitely

Quote
"Occupying a country on the other side of the globe and staying there forever is an American pastime," said a CNN host. "For Trump to pull out when we haven't even been there a decade yet is a disgusting display of his selfishness and unwillingness to conform to the standards of presidential decorum."

"Has he no respect for our ways of life?" the host concluded gravely.

Quote
In a rare moment of unity, pundits on Fox News agreed. "We just need another 20 or 30 years in Syria, and we can accomplish our goals," said a morning host on the right-leaning news station. "He didn't even really give our soldiers a chance to settle in."

Quote
"This is America, for goodness' sake—land of the free and home of messing with other countries' affairs. I don't like criticizing the president, but he's way off on this one," he added.

laugh
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