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Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 19652 times)
Angel Eyes
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« Reply #100 on: February 02, 2020, 05:21:08 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/iowa-prepares-to-matter
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"We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics."
                            - Joe Biden
MechAg94
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« Reply #101 on: February 17, 2020, 10:47:47 AM »

I saw this at lunch and thought it was just hilarious for some reason.  Very sacreligious. 

New Political Bible Adds (R) Or (D) After Each Character's Name
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-political-bible-adds-r-or-d-after-each-characters-name

Quote
"Obviously, right off the bat, God is followed by an R, while the serpent is followed by a D," the project's chief editor, Dr. Gary Leyland, told reporters. "Those ones are easy. Some of the other characters are a little tougher, as we have little written evidence of their modern American political ideology. But we can usually figure it out with context. For instance, if a character works a lot and is rich, they're a Republican. If a character is poor and wears sandals, definitely Democrat. Except for Jesus."

Quote
"The weird characters no one likes are probably libertarians."
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MechAg94
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« Reply #102 on: February 19, 2020, 08:08:35 AM »

Good article attached to this one...

https://babylonbee.com/news/police-officer-claims-he-feared-for-his-life-when-he-shot-familys-roomba
Police Officer Claims He Feared For His Life After Shooting Family's Roomba To Death

Quote
Now the officer claims he feared for his life when he was "aggressively approached" by the automated vacuum device.

"I feared for my life, and that is why I unloaded approximately 11 rounds into the dangerous, aggressive robot vacuum," he said in a press conference. "You don't always have time to accurately assess all threats when you are in a life-and-death situation like that. Police officer safety is our number one priority when we're out in the field."

"Uh, I mean, other than your safety, of course," he quickly added.
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MechAg94
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« Reply #103 on: February 23, 2020, 07:27:40 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/popular-new-noah-diet-has-you-eat-two-of-every-animal-at-every-meal
Popular New 'Noah Diet' Has You Eat Two Of Every Animal At Every Meal

Quote
The diet calls for adherents to eat two of every animal at every meal. While some complain the price would add up on all that meat, Embry says, "you can't put a price on good health." Embry is also developing new Noah milkshakes that contain two of every animal blended together in one delicious, easy-to-prepare smoothie. "We're also working on a jerky line," Embry told reporters.

A link for the next time you meet a vegetarian.   grin
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« Reply #104 on: February 23, 2020, 07:56:22 PM »

Good article attached to this one...

https://babylonbee.com/news/police-officer-claims-he-feared-for-his-life-when-he-shot-familys-roomba
Police Officer Claims He Feared For His Life After Shooting Family's Roomba To Death


Quote

At publishing time, an investigation had revealed that Officer Nimitz was in the entirely wrong house in the first place, with the correct address being over five miles away.

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MechAg94
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« Reply #105 on: February 24, 2020, 12:29:20 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-purchases-industrial-sized-washing-machine-spin-news-publication
CNN Purchases Industrial-Sized Washing Machine To Spin News Before Publication


Snopes actually fact checked this:
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/cnn-washing-machine/
Did CNN Purchase an Industrial-Sized Washing Machine to Spin News?
Quote
Labeled Satire

 ROFL
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Ben
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« Reply #106 on: February 24, 2020, 12:43:04 PM »

Snopes actually fact checked this:



I am continually amazed at what Snopes has become. They are broken people.
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230RN
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« Reply #107 on: February 24, 2020, 10:34:56 PM »

Re CNN's washing machine...

I'm no fan of Snopes, but I suspect it was the dozens, if not hundreds, of broken people who hit Snopes to check out the story who made them enter it as an item.

Either that, or Snopes has a sense of humor, too.

Terry
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"You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."

Maybe so, but 50% + 1 is all the "all" you need, Mr. Lincoln.
MechAg94
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« Reply #108 on: February 26, 2020, 07:10:54 PM »

Grizzly Bear Shatters All Pro Wrestling Records After Identifying As Human
https://babylonbee.com/news/grizzly-bear-shatters-pro-wrestling-records-after-identifying-as-a-human

Quote
ôThe Grizzly has stated that his preferred pronouns are he/him/human and so we are going to respect that,ö said A.J. Styles, wincing in pain as doctors attempted to realign his spine Ś another victim of the Grizzlyĺs punishment.

There was a link to this bear survival book with the article. 
https://www.amazon.com/Bears-Want-Kill-Ethan-Nicolle/dp/B07R9TQYT6/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
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MechAg94
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« Reply #109 on: March 01, 2020, 07:33:59 PM »

Heroic Trump Saves Indian Woman From Sniper's Bullet Aimed Directly At Her Forehead
https://babylonbee.com/news/heroic-trump-saves-indian-woman-from-snipers-bullet-aimed-directly-at-her-forehead
Quote
While everyone else wasn't observant enough to notice the targeting dot planted right on her forehead, Trump's famed observational skills and reaction time saved the day.



Quote
At publishing time, Trump had saved hundreds more women from would-be assassins all across the land.
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
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Angel Eyes
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« Reply #110 on: March 12, 2020, 06:25:17 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/coronavirus-passes-over-houses-with-cfa-sauce

I knew it . . . I knew it . . .
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TommyGunn
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« Reply #111 on: March 12, 2020, 07:24:57 PM »

Oh great .... cue massive run on Chic-fil-A   in 3 .... 2 .... 1 .....  Tinfoil Hat Smiley
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MOLON LABE   "Through ignorance of what is good and what is bad, the life of men is greatly perplexed." ~~ Cicero
Perd Hapley
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« Reply #112 on: March 12, 2020, 08:08:43 PM »

Oh great .... cue massive run on Chic-fil-A   in 3 .... 2 .... 1 .....  Tinfoil Hat Smiley

That story was posted a day or 3 ago, but there's always a run at CFA.
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Viking
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« Reply #113 on: March 12, 2020, 10:10:13 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/nations-nerds-wake-up-in-utopia-where-everyone-stays-inside-sports-canceled-social-interaction-forbidden
Finally, my time has come!
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« Reply #114 on: March 13, 2020, 02:22:58 AM »

That story was posted a day or 3 ago, but there's always a run at CFA.

For realz. 
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Islamic sex dolls.  Do they blow themselves up?
fifth_column
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« Reply #115 on: May 20, 2020, 08:20:05 AM »

I got a chuckle out of this headline:

https://babylonbee.com/news/obamas-promise-to-donate-all-proceeds-from-multimillion-dollar-book-netflix-deals-to-combat-wealth-inequality

Also the last line:
"At publishing time, the Obamas had released a video in which they committed to allowing refugees and undocumented immigrants to stay in their new mansion."
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No American citizen should be willing to accept a government that uses its power against its own people.  -  Catherine Engelbrecht
Perd Hapley
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« Reply #116 on: May 20, 2020, 08:44:40 AM »

I got a chuckle out of this headline:

https://babylonbee.com/news/obamas-promise-to-donate-all-proceeds-from-multimillion-dollar-book-netflix-deals-to-combat-wealth-inequality

Also the last line:
"At publishing time, the Obamas had released a video in which they committed to allowing refugees and undocumented immigrants to stay in their new mansion."

No doubt the refugees and illegals will turn down the cash, and ask for one of Michelle's hash-tags, instead.
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zxcvbob
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« Reply #117 on: May 28, 2020, 07:40:41 AM »



https://babylonbee.com/news/time-names-karen-person-of-the-year
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MechAg94
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« Reply #118 on: May 28, 2020, 07:48:32 AM »

ROFL
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WLJ
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« Reply #119 on: June 20, 2020, 06:57:52 PM »

The back and forth in this is Popcorn time

Pastor dad warns that The Babylon Bee is Ĺa white supremacist rag that exploits Christians for clicksĺ
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2020/06/20/pastor-dad-warns-that-the-babylon-bee-is-a-white-supremacist-rag-that-exploits-christians-for-clicks/
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Angel Eyes
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« Reply #120 on: June 20, 2020, 08:06:23 PM »

It was only a matter of time before someone accused the Bee of racism.  Something near and dear to his heart got satirized.


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230RN
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« Reply #121 on: June 21, 2020, 04:42:47 AM »

Glasses cleaning time.  I read it as "...exports Christians for chicks."
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"You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."

Maybe so, but 50% + 1 is all the "all" you need, Mr. Lincoln.
lee n. field
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« Reply #122 on: June 21, 2020, 06:26:54 AM »

The back and forth in this is Popcorn time

Pastor dad warns that The Babylon Bee is Ĺa white supremacist rag that exploits Christians for clicksĺ
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2020/06/20/pastor-dad-warns-that-the-babylon-bee-is-a-white-supremacist-rag-that-exploits-christians-for-clicks/

When they say "racist", it doesn't seem to mean anything in particular.
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Perd Hapley
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« Reply #123 on: June 21, 2020, 12:54:52 PM »

When they say "racist", it doesn't seem to mean anything in particular.

Whites being racist toward blacks, at least in America, became a joke sometime around 2009. Not because a black guy was elected, but because the race card was finally so over-used, it just gave out.

Of course, that's just my opinion. When I hear that a white American has been racist, I tend to roll my eyes, or laugh. Unless, of course, the evidence shows it's true. Clearly, there are people still being fooled by the wolf-crying.
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230RN
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« Reply #124 on: June 22, 2020, 01:34:44 PM »

Meanings are getting badly blurred in the language, with connotative meanings being used for everything.

Racism is bad, but not everything bad is racist.  I'm surprised that nobody is using the term "racist" to describe a 30-car pileup on the highway.  

Hey, pileup bad.  Racism bad.  Therefore pileup is racist.

It may come to that sooner or later if everything is called racist.
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"You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."

Maybe so, but 50% + 1 is all the "all" you need, Mr. Lincoln.
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