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Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 15758 times)
MechAg94
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« Reply #25 on: October 08, 2019, 11:16:36 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/al-gore-predicts-massive-apocalypse-if-billions-are-not-spent-on-his-books-films

Al Gore Predicts Massive Apocalypse If Billions Are Not Spent On His Books, Films

Quote
Several scientists on the panel agreed wholeheartedly with Gore’s assessment. “The evidence is irrefutable,” said Dr. Sufjan Swami of Johns Hopkins University. “To not buy Al’s books and movies at a time like this is tantamount to treason.” Various experts on the panel all agreed that it was time for all countries and communities to come together and commit all of their resources to the purchase of Al Gore’s books and movies.


Here is a graph so you know it is sciency.
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Angel Eyes
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« Reply #26 on: October 08, 2019, 11:46:06 AM »

I can just see Gavin Newsom reading this and thinking, "Hmmm . . . ."

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-law-would-force-drivers-to-listen-to-greta-thunberg-lecture-before-filling-up-their-cars
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fistful
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« Reply #27 on: October 08, 2019, 11:51:19 AM »

Huh?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Babylon_Bee

I don't see any mention of Frank Fleming.


Frank Fleming writes a lot of their stuff. If you people would listen to the BB podcast, you'd know this.  rolleyes  Tongue
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Republican: Woke since 1854
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« Reply #28 on: October 08, 2019, 12:40:07 PM »


I would normally insert an LOL emoticon here, but sadly, it is too close to potential reality. Much like with pollution controls, CA could insist all cars must come with a screeching Greta Thunberg recording that runs every time you start your car. The transmission is locked out until the recording finishes.
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"I'm a foolish old man that has been drawn into a wild goose chase by a harpy in trousers and a nincompoop."
MechAg94
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« Reply #29 on: October 08, 2019, 01:33:35 PM »

I would normally insert an LOL emoticon here, but sadly, it is too close to potential reality. Much like with pollution controls, CA could insist all cars must come with a screeching Greta Thunberg recording that runs every time you start your car. The transmission is locked out until the recording finishes.
The Cali DMV may require you to listen to a Greta sermon before leaving you alone.   smiley
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« Reply #30 on: October 08, 2019, 02:19:19 PM »

The Cali DMV may require you to listen to a Greta sermon before leaving you alone.   smiley

 cheesy

I think they finally got the hint. I haven't received any more notices. Though I guess the test will be when the vehicles would have come up for renewal next year.
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« Reply #31 on: October 08, 2019, 03:39:46 PM »

This has the potential to become a very long thread:

https://babylonbee.com/news/radical-far-right-library-just-has-books-no-drag-queens

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MechAg94
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« Reply #32 on: October 08, 2019, 04:33:07 PM »

laugh

I think you may be right. 
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MechAg94
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« Reply #33 on: October 09, 2019, 05:29:04 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/hilary-clinton-announces-she-will-seek-re-election-as-president-of-the-united-states
Hillary Clinton Announces She Will Seek Reelection As President Of The United States

Quote
"After much deliberation, consultation, and prayer to Moloch, I have decided that I will seek a second term," she said to a crowd gathered at a local Wendy's restaurant. "I feel I haven't accomplished everything I wanted to in my first term, and I really need a full eight years to implement my final solution to all of America's problems."



And the final punch line.
Quote
"Orange man bad! Orange man bad!" she chanted at one heckler, though the heckler turned out to be a Wendy's worker asking if she wanted the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger 4 for $4 or the chicken sandwich one.

Aides then gently ushered her back onto the bus to take her back to Bright Sunrise Home For Seniors
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MechAg94
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« Reply #34 on: October 09, 2019, 05:30:45 AM »

https://summit.news/2019/10/09/hillary-teases-2020-run-obviously-i-can-beat-him-again/
Hillary Teases 2020 Run: “Obviously I Can Beat Him Again”

This is not fake news as far as I can tell.

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TommyGunn
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« Reply #35 on: October 09, 2019, 09:12:18 AM »

Hillary seems more deluded than usual. 
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MOLON LABE   "Through ignorance of what is good and what is bad, the life of men is greatly perplexed." ~~ Cicero
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« Reply #36 on: October 10, 2019, 07:26:46 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/progressive-parents-sit-their-kids-down-for-talk-about-the-birds-and-the-bees-and-the-birds-who-want-to-become-bees-and-the-bees-who-identify-as-birds-and-buckle-up-kids-this-might-take-a-while
Progressive Parents Sit Their Kid Down For Talk About The Birds And The Bees And The Birds Who Want To Become Bees And The Bees Who Identify As Birds And Buckle Up, This Might Take A While

Quote
Molly Harper patted their daughter on the back. "What your father's trying to say is that, well, the birds and the bees... and, well, let's not leave out the birds who want to become bees, and the bees who identify as birds! Maybe we'd better start there and then we'll circle back to the cisspecies birds and bees."

Quote
16 hours later, they'd gotten a good halfway through "the talk" and decided to leave the discussion about birds having surgeries when they're still hatchlings to become bees until the following day.
laugh
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MechAg94
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« Reply #37 on: October 10, 2019, 11:48:58 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-declares-clocks-will-fall-back-to-2017-this-year-granting-him-extra-time-in-office
Trump Declares Clocks Will Fall Back To 2017 This Year Granting Him Extra Time In Office

If only we could get Trump to retweet this.  The left's reaction would be so much fun. 

Quote
As Trump made the announcement, protesters gathered outside the White House to scream at the sky. Again.
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« Reply #38 on: October 15, 2019, 05:25:01 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/was-that-video-of-trump-shooting-various-news-outlets-in-the-face-doctored-an-in-depth-analysis
Was That Video Of Trump Shooting His Political Foes In The Face Doctored? An In-Depth Analysis


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« Reply #39 on: October 15, 2019, 09:06:08 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/was-that-video-of-trump-shooting-various-news-outlets-in-the-face-doctored-an-in-depth-analysis
Was That Video Of Trump Shooting His Political Foes In The Face Doctored? An In-Depth Analysis




Its almost as if they made it their mission to mock snopes.
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"now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb" -Dark Helmet

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MechAg94
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« Reply #40 on: October 15, 2019, 10:11:00 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/we-are-living-in-a-totalitarian-nightmare-says-protester-freely-without-any-fear-of-government-retribution
'We Are Living In A Totalitarian Nightmare,' Says Protester Freely Without Any Fear Of Government Retribution

Quote
The woman drew on her guaranteed free speech rights to state that "this government is like something out of a totalitarian dystopia," as police stood by guarding to ensure her and her fellow protesters' right to protest was protected.

Quote
At publishing time, she told reporters she would love to draw further comparisons to dystopian fiction novels other than The Handmaid's Tale, but she hadn't read any.
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MechAg94
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« Reply #41 on: October 16, 2019, 07:17:36 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-smart-doorbell-will-argue-with-jehovahs-witnesses-for-you
New Smart Doorbell Will Argue With Jehovah's Witnesses, LDS Missionaries For You

Quote
The device can also be set to Evangelist Mode, which explains the “Romans Road” to visitors and leads food delivery drivers in the sinner’s prayer before payment is made.
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Angel Eyes
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« Reply #42 on: October 18, 2019, 07:00:15 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/police-keep-antifa-away-columbus-statues-taping-job-applications-onto

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« Reply #43 on: October 18, 2019, 12:12:13 PM »

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"Individual liberty and freedom are not outmoded concepts."
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MechAg94
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« Reply #44 on: October 18, 2019, 04:53:47 PM »

 laugh
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MechAg94
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« Reply #45 on: October 20, 2019, 01:34:47 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/open-minded-programmer-works-non-binary-code
Open-Minded Programmer Only Works In Non-Binary Code

Quote
“I can no longer in good conscience turn a blind eye to the oppressive systemic abuse of power that excludes bits who don’t identify as either ‘1’ or ‘0’,” he said. “To demand that a marginalized digital bit identify with a number foisted upon it by a harmful system created by white males is extremely problematic. Code is a social construct.”

Notice that this story is 2 years old.  I am not sure if that is a good or bad sign of where we are headed. 
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MechAg94
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« Reply #46 on: October 20, 2019, 01:51:37 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-vows-to-cut-foreign-aid-to-california
Trump Vows To Cut Foreign Aid To California

Quote
Though this means no money for California for now, Trump has earmarked some money for California to help any pro-democracy movement within the state. So far none has emerged.
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RocketMan
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« Reply #47 on: October 20, 2019, 03:30:19 PM »


Quote
Though this means no money for California for now, Trump has earmarked some money for California to help any pro-democracy movement within the state. So far none has emerged.

 
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“Don’t be so open-minded that your brains fall out.” - G.K. Chesterton

Conservatives see George Orwell's "1984" as a cautionary tale.  Progressives view it as a "how to" manual.

My wife often says to me, "You are evil and must be destroyed." She may be right.

How many Democrats does it take to fix a problem?  No one knows because it's never happened.
MechAg94
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« Reply #48 on: October 20, 2019, 06:11:42 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/american-heart-association-sued-discrimination-trans-fats
American Heart Association Sued For Discrimination Against Trans Fats

Quote
“The AHA frequently employs phrases such as, ‘reducing trans fat in your diet helps reduce risk of heart disease,’ ‘trans fats raise your bad (LDL) cholesterol levels and lower your good (HDL) cholesterol levels,’ ‘eating trans fats increases your risk of developing heart disease and stroke, and is also associated with a higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes,’ an ACLU spokesman explained. “Their nutritional guidelines are blatantly transphobic.”
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MechAg94
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« Reply #49 on: October 20, 2019, 07:48:02 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/washington-post-article-on-evils-of-capitalism-hidden-behind-paywall
Washington Post Article On Evils Of Capitalism Hidden Behind Paywall

No article.  Link just has that headline.   grin
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