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Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 822 times)
MechAg94
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« Reply #25 on: October 08, 2019, 11:16:36 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/al-gore-predicts-massive-apocalypse-if-billions-are-not-spent-on-his-books-films

Al Gore Predicts Massive Apocalypse If Billions Are Not Spent On His Books, Films

Quote
Several scientists on the panel agreed wholeheartedly with Goreĺs assessment. ôThe evidence is irrefutable,ö said Dr. Sufjan Swami of Johns Hopkins University. ôTo not buy Alĺs books and movies at a time like this is tantamount to treason.ö Various experts on the panel all agreed that it was time for all countries and communities to come together and commit all of their resources to the purchase of Al Goreĺs books and movies.


Here is a graph so you know it is sciency.
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Angel Eyes
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« Reply #26 on: October 08, 2019, 11:46:06 AM »

I can just see Gavin Newsom reading this and thinking, "Hmmm . . . ."

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-law-would-force-drivers-to-listen-to-greta-thunberg-lecture-before-filling-up-their-cars
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"Individual liberty and freedom are not outmoded concepts."
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« Reply #27 on: October 08, 2019, 11:51:19 AM »

Huh?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Babylon_Bee

I don't see any mention of Frank Fleming.


Frank Fleming writes a lot of their stuff. If you people would listen to the BB podcast, you'd know this.  rolleyes  Tongue
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My name is Josh. If you speak English, you can figure out the pronouns yourself. I'm not gonna do it for you.
Ben
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« Reply #28 on: October 08, 2019, 12:40:07 PM »


I would normally insert an LOL emoticon here, but sadly, it is too close to potential reality. Much like with pollution controls, CA could insist all cars must come with a screeching Greta Thunberg recording that runs every time you start your car. The transmission is locked out until the recording finishes.
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MechAg94
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« Reply #29 on: October 08, 2019, 01:33:35 PM »

I would normally insert an LOL emoticon here, but sadly, it is too close to potential reality. Much like with pollution controls, CA could insist all cars must come with a screeching Greta Thunberg recording that runs every time you start your car. The transmission is locked out until the recording finishes.
The Cali DMV may require you to listen to a Greta sermon before leaving you alone.   smiley
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« Reply #30 on: October 08, 2019, 02:19:19 PM »

The Cali DMV may require you to listen to a Greta sermon before leaving you alone.   smiley

 cheesy

I think they finally got the hint. I haven't received any more notices. Though I guess the test will be when the vehicles would have come up for renewal next year.
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« Reply #31 on: October 08, 2019, 03:39:46 PM »

This has the potential to become a very long thread:

https://babylonbee.com/news/radical-far-right-library-just-has-books-no-drag-queens

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MechAg94
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« Reply #32 on: October 08, 2019, 04:33:07 PM »

laugh

I think you may be right. 
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MechAg94
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« Reply #33 on: October 09, 2019, 05:29:04 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/hilary-clinton-announces-she-will-seek-re-election-as-president-of-the-united-states
Hillary Clinton Announces She Will Seek Reelection As President Of The United States

Quote
"After much deliberation, consultation, and prayer to Moloch, I have decided that I will seek a second term," she said to a crowd gathered at a local Wendy's restaurant. "I feel I haven't accomplished everything I wanted to in my first term, and I really need a full eight years to implement my final solution to all of America's problems."



And the final punch line.
Quote
"Orange man bad! Orange man bad!" she chanted at one heckler, though the heckler turned out to be a Wendy's worker asking if she wanted the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger 4 for $4 or the chicken sandwich one.

Aides then gently ushered her back onto the bus to take her back to Bright Sunrise Home For Seniors
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MechAg94
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« Reply #34 on: October 09, 2019, 05:30:45 AM »

https://summit.news/2019/10/09/hillary-teases-2020-run-obviously-i-can-beat-him-again/
Hillary Teases 2020 Run: ôObviously I Can Beat Him Againö

This is not fake news as far as I can tell.

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« Reply #35 on: October 09, 2019, 09:12:18 AM »

Hillary seems more deluded than usual. 
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MOLON LABE   "Through ignorance of what is good and what is bad, the life of men is greatly perplexed." ~~ Cicero
MechAg94
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« Reply #36 on: October 10, 2019, 07:26:46 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/progressive-parents-sit-their-kids-down-for-talk-about-the-birds-and-the-bees-and-the-birds-who-want-to-become-bees-and-the-bees-who-identify-as-birds-and-buckle-up-kids-this-might-take-a-while
Progressive Parents Sit Their Kid Down For Talk About The Birds And The Bees And The Birds Who Want To Become Bees And The Bees Who Identify As Birds And Buckle Up, This Might Take A While

Quote
Molly Harper patted their daughter on the back. "What your father's trying to say is that, well, the birds and the bees... and, well, let's not leave out the birds who want to become bees, and the bees who identify as birds! Maybe we'd better start there and then we'll circle back to the cisspecies birds and bees."

Quote
16 hours later, they'd gotten a good halfway through "the talk" and decided to leave the discussion about birds having surgeries when they're still hatchlings to become bees until the following day.
laugh
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MechAg94
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« Reply #37 on: October 10, 2019, 11:48:58 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-declares-clocks-will-fall-back-to-2017-this-year-granting-him-extra-time-in-office
Trump Declares Clocks Will Fall Back To 2017 This Year Granting Him Extra Time In Office

If only we could get Trump to retweet this.  The left's reaction would be so much fun. 

Quote
As Trump made the announcement, protesters gathered outside the White House to scream at the sky. Again.
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« Reply #38 on: October 15, 2019, 05:25:01 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/was-that-video-of-trump-shooting-various-news-outlets-in-the-face-doctored-an-in-depth-analysis
Was That Video Of Trump Shooting His Political Foes In The Face Doctored? An In-Depth Analysis


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« Reply #39 on: October 15, 2019, 09:06:08 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/was-that-video-of-trump-shooting-various-news-outlets-in-the-face-doctored-an-in-depth-analysis
Was That Video Of Trump Shooting His Political Foes In The Face Doctored? An In-Depth Analysis




Its almost as if they made it their mission to mock snopes.
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MechAg94
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« Reply #40 on: October 15, 2019, 10:11:00 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/we-are-living-in-a-totalitarian-nightmare-says-protester-freely-without-any-fear-of-government-retribution
'We Are Living In A Totalitarian Nightmare,' Says Protester Freely Without Any Fear Of Government Retribution

Quote
The woman drew on her guaranteed free speech rights to state that "this government is like something out of a totalitarian dystopia," as police stood by guarding to ensure her and her fellow protesters' right to protest was protected.

Quote
At publishing time, she told reporters she would love to draw further comparisons to dystopian fiction novels other than The Handmaid's Tale, but she hadn't read any.
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MechAg94
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« Reply #41 on: October 16, 2019, 07:17:36 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-smart-doorbell-will-argue-with-jehovahs-witnesses-for-you
New Smart Doorbell Will Argue With Jehovah's Witnesses, LDS Missionaries For You

Quote
The device can also be set to Evangelist Mode, which explains the ôRomans Roadö to visitors and leads food delivery drivers in the sinnerĺs prayer before payment is made.
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« Reply #42 on: Today at 07:00:15 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/police-keep-antifa-away-columbus-statues-taping-job-applications-onto

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« Reply #43 on: Today at 12:12:13 PM »

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"Individual liberty and freedom are not outmoded concepts."
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