Point in the first: If I am on sufficiently intimate terms with someone to buy them a $2000 piece of exercise equipment, I think I am likely a better judge of weather they want, will use, or appreciate it then NPR and the gender studies major working at Jamba Juice. Thanks. In point of fact I DID buy my wife a fancy piece of exercise equipment for Christmas this year*.
Point in the second: I am just about done with the polite smile and nod at the pro cardiovascular disease body positivity movement. Yes, there is a wide range of healthy and beautiful body types in the human race. No, you are not in that range. No, you are not beautiful at ANY weight. No, that is not healthy. And since you seem determined to make me pay for the long term health costs of your diabetes, heart disease, joint damage, and overall bad health, to the very bitter end of $200,000 a day ICU care, put down the Slurpee and get on the *expletive deleted*ing Peloton.
Point in the third: Stop gas-lighting every *expletive deleted*ing male in the country because your freshman year sociology prof had some bad dates on Plenty of Fish. My wife is an intelligent, beautiful, strong woman with several degrees. She is perfectly capable of telling me if she feels my behavior is unacceptable (trust me). Neither of us need, or want, the woke crowd's Cosmo-like snarky nitpicking on "what men do wrong" trying to wiggle into our house. We at least had some years to get stable before you loons went off the deep end. How is a couple in their 20's right now supposed to build any kind of trusting relationship with "woke" following them around like a chain-smoking, divorced aunt at Thanksgiving telling them the male is wrong.
*expletive deleted*ck. Right. Off.
*By "buy her for Christmas" I mean she found the new Garmin running watch she wants on a Black Friday sale, cashed in some Credit Card points, and told me she had gotten it so I didn't think the rest of the cost was credit card fraud. She's bought me a customized Kimber for Christmas, I just need to tell her.
