Author Topic: 70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries  (Read 561 times)

HeroHog

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70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
« on: September 13, 2020, 12:20:47 AM »
https://www.ovalkwiki.com/index.php/The_Seventy_Maxims_of_Maximally_Effective_Mercenaries

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The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries is a popular handbook in the Schlock Mercenary universe. The book's maxims are often quoted by Tagon, as well as other characters. The following is a list of the maxims found in Schlock Mercenary, ordered by maxim number.

1. Pillage, then burn.[1]
2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.[2]
3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.[3]
4. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.[4]
5. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.[5]
6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it. [6]
7. If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire.[7]
8. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.[8]
9. Never turn your back on an enemy. [9]
10. Sometimes the only way out is through. . . through the hull.[10]
11. Everything is air-droppable at least once. [11]
12. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. [8]
13. Do unto others. [9]
14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?" [12]
15. Only you can prevent friendly fire. [13]
16. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth. [8]
17. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster. [14]
18. If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear. [15]
19. The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer.[16]
20. If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win. [17]
21. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow. [18]
22. If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong. [19]
23. The company mess and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart [20][21]
24. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun. [22]
25. If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturers warranty, you didn't do enough damage.[23]
Amended: If a manufacturer's warranty covers the damage you did, you didn't do enough damage.[24]
26. "Fire and Forget" is fine, provided you never actually forget.[24]
27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.[25]
28. If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you. [26]
29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.[25]
30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.[25]
31. Only cheaters prosper.[27]
32. Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.[28]
33. If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.[29]
34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.[30]
35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.[31]
Amended: That which does not kill me has made a tactical error.[24]
36. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.[32]
37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'[33]
Amended: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload."[24]
38. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.[34]
Amended: What's easy for you can still be hard on your clients.[24]
39. There is a difference between spare parts and extra [parts].[35]
40. Not all good news is enemy action. [36]
41. “Do you have a backup?” means “I can’t fix this.” [37]
42. "They'll never expect this" means "I want to try something stupid."
43. If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.
44. If it will blow a hole in the ground, it will double as an entrenching tool. [38]
45. The size of the combat bonus is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it.[39]
46. Don’t try to save money by conserving ammunition.
47. Don't expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.[40]
48. If it ain't broke, it hasn't been issued to the infantry. [39]
49. Every client is one missed payment away from becoming a target [41] and every target is one bribe away from becoming a client.[24]
50. If it only works in exactly the way the manufacturer intended, it is defective.[24]
51. Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.[42]
52. The army you've got is never the army you want.[43] [24]
53. The intel you've got is never the intel you want. [43] [24]
54. The best way to win a one-on-one fight is to be the third to arrive.
Amended: It's only too many troops if you can't pay them.[24]
55. It's only too many weapons if they're pointing in the wrong direction.[24]
56. Infantry exists to paint targets for people with real guns.[24]
57. Artillery exists to launch large chunks of budget at an enemy it cannot actually see.[24]
58. The pen is mightiest when it writes orders for more swords.[24]
59. "Two wrongs is probably not going to be enough."[44]
60. Any weapon's rate of fire is inversely proportional to the number of available targets.[24]
61. Don't bring big grenades into small rooms.[45]
62. Anything labeled "This end toward enemy" is dangerous at both ends.[24]
63. The brass knows how to do it by knowing who can do it.[24]
64. An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.
65. After the toss, be the one with the pin, not the one with the grenade.[24]
66. Necessity is the mother of deception.[24]
67. If you can't carry cash, carry a weapon.[24]
68. Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.
69. Sometimes rank is a function of firepower.[24]
70. Failure is not an option - it is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.[45]
I might not last very long or be very effective but I'll be a real pain in the ass for a minute!
MOLON LABE!

230RN

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Re: 70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2020, 06:41:30 AM »
29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.

64. An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2020, 10:44:58 AM by 230RN »

grampster

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Re: 70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2020, 03:20:06 PM »
Those are good.  :laugh: :laugh: [ar15]
"Never wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."  G.B. Shaw