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Author Topic: "No Child Left Behind" Law Replaced by "Every Student Succeeds" Act  (Read 5068 times)

roo_ster

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From the department of "You can't make this **** up."

Failed "No Child Left Behind" Law Replaced by Even More Implausibly Entitled "Every Student Succeeds" Act


Early in the 21st Century, noted education experts Ted Kennedy and George W. Bush got together to push through Congress the bipartisan No Child Left Behind act mandating that 100% of American public school students be above average by last year.

As luck would have it, that didn’t actually happen.

But now Obama has just signed a new bipartisan bill to replace No Child Left Behind, the even more implausibly entitled Every Student Succeeds act.

But don’t say that nobody never learns nothing. While Every Student Succeeds sounds like it’s bound to fail, this time Congress didn’t mandate that students actually do much of anything; so, looked at from the right perspective, Every Student Succeeds can’t miss.

"During the Camacho administration, The House of Representin' passed the "You're Just ****ing Awesome And Get Automatic Straight-As" education reform bill."



Regards,

roo_ster

“Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.”
----G.K. Chesterton

TommyGunn

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Re: "No Child Left Behind" Law Replaced by "Every Student Succeeds" Act
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2015, 12:03:43 PM »

" ' No Child Left Behind' Law Replaced by 'Every Student Succeeds' Act."


Well, THAT changes everything. :facepalm:
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HankB

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Re: "No Child Left Behind" Law Replaced by "Every Student Succeeds" Act
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2015, 12:06:11 PM »

"Every student succeeds"

Well, if the object is to get a participation trophy (like they hand out for "competitive" sports in some schools) I suppose universal success is possible.  :facepalm:
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griz

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Re: "No Child Left Behind" Law Replaced by "Every Student Succeeds" Act
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2015, 12:21:06 PM »

When I saw the thread title with "Every Student Succeeds" as the name of the new law, I thought it was a sarcastic description of another dreamy eyed attempt to achieve the Lake Woebegone like result of "all the children are above average"  But now I see that's the actual name.  Wow, reality keeps chipping away at satire.
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brimic

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Re: "No Child Left Behind" Law Replaced by "Every Student Succeeds" Act
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2015, 08:45:36 AM »

Well that will go great with the future 'equal pay for everyone act.'
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roo_ster

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Re: "No Child Left Behind" Law Replaced by "Every Student Succeeds" Act
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2015, 10:01:08 AM »

When I saw the thread title with "Every Student Succeeds" as the name of the new law, I thought it was a sarcastic description of another dreamy eyed attempt to achieve the Lake Woebegone like result of "all the children are above average"  But now I see that's the actual name.  Wow, reality keeps chipping away at satire.

Were an author to do somehting in a work of fiction, it would be regarded as "heavy handed and unbelievable."
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roo_ster

“Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.”
----G.K. Chesterton

Ned Hamford

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Re: "No Child Left Behind" Law Replaced by "Every Student Succeeds" Act
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2015, 11:03:37 AM »



Popped up on my dash; seemed particularly relevant.
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