23andme

[RoadKingLarry]

Which version... Lord of the Rings or Epic Rage Quit? 

Brad

 

[K Frame]

Which version... Lord of the Rings or Epic Rage Quit? 

Brad

I'm not sure that I get the epic rage quit reference...

[Brad Johnson]

Another revisit because I just had the entire thing blow wide open.

I've picked at my maternal side a bit, but nothing serious. There really wasn't much there past a couple of third and fourth cousins on Ancestry and 23&Me. What little backtracking I did always ended up at a great-great-grandparent and a few related tidbits all centered on Kansas City, MO. Nothing downstream of that, a giant information black hole. I pretty much blew it off as unattainable without a lot of time, effort, and/or money, none of which I've the desire to apply.

I've emailed a couple times with my bio brother. Mostly the adult medical histories I was initially searching for. Never asked for any more, and made sure it was perfectly clear I had no expectations beyond that. Just a few minutes ago, he emailed with my bio father's contact info, said contact was welcome, and that bio father knows where my bio mother is. Wow. Never in a million years would I have expected that info to literally fall into my lap.

Brad

[HeroHog]

Wow! Hope it all works out for you.

[Tuco]

Brad.
I'm trying to imagine the emotions that today's email would open up in a guy and coming up blank. After some.processing time I'd love to know where your head ends up.
Good luck!

[Brad Johnson]

Brad.
I'm trying to imagine the emotions that today's email would open up in a guy and coming up blank. After some.processing time I'd love to know where your head ends up.
Good luck!

Actually, I'm already there. I made up my mind early on that whatever happened it would be a slow, cautious process, and that it wasn't going to change anything other than being a source of information. I was blindsided by the unexpected influx of information, sure, but only in the sense of suddenly having way more information than I ever expected, both quantity and quality. Otherwise it hasn't changed my state of mind about, well, anything.

I know who my parents are, they raised me. I have a great family and a great life that I wouldn't change for anything. This is just new information which fills in biological lineage gaps. It's cool to know, and will certainly be fun and interesting to investigate further, but is not otherwise life-changing in any respect.

It helps that I've always known I was adopted. My parents made no effort to hide it, instead choosing to treat it as a special, positive aspect in every way. As a result, I don't have some overwhelming sense of loss, urgency, or desire relative to my biological lineage. I've also taken the whole contact thing very slow, being absolutely clear that I don't want this to be a source of strife or friction for their families, and that I have no expectations or plans beyond adult medical histories. I'll let it play out organically.

Brad

[sumpnz]

A friend was adopted along with his (non-biological) brother.  All he knows of his birth mother is that she was 14 when he was born, tried to keep him but the German government forced her to give him up for adoption.  I can only imagine the emotions that can accompany finding your biological family.  Whether from a loving and accepting adoptive family or not.

[Brad Johnson]

Bridge crossed.

Nice emails back and forth from birth father. We both acknowledged the awkwardness and are in agreement the best course is to simply treat the situation as "new acquaintances" and go from there. I was very open that I treat my adoption as a blessing and harbor no resentment or ill will. That seemed to put him at ease. We exchanged a few general bits of life and background info, but nothing of great or extended detail. All in all a pleasant experience thus far.

He gave me a bit of background on my birth situation, much of which confirmed what I suspected... two college lovebirds who fumbled their way into a pregnancy. They were going to marry, but her parents promptly shipped her off to a home for unwed mothers. Relationship ended after that.

He mentioned he has always been curious how I was doing, so this seemed a nice bookend for him, too. He also mentioned he took the time a few years ago to research my birth mother's whereabouts. No contact, but he did find her location and a few generalities about her life. That was the info previously mentioned. Since there's been no contact between them, I asked him not to tell me anything about her out of respect for her privacy. I did, however, tell him that if she ever made contact to ask about me, he was free to disclose my info.

Brad

[Brad Johnson]

Maternal lineage nailed down. An unexpected contact from a very distant cousin provided the key. He was just fleshing out data on third and fourth cousins, but his notes turned up a name I hadn't previously run across. The person's surname was familiar. I was able to cross-reference with more familiar names, backtracking into an obituary which connected all the dots. I'd developed several lineages from Ancestry and 23&Me hits but couldn't make them join. This tied them all together. Within minutes I had a promising identity. It was confirmed today.

As with my paternal family, I've no desire to initiate contact. No need to rock the boat unless they take the first step. Even if they do, I'll probably stay arms-length as her and her immediate family's social media is rife with ultra-lib sentiment and support. Not my thing.

An interesting aside, she and her husband live in small Colorado town just off a road SWMBO and I have traveled many times. I've been within five miles of her home on at least a dozen occasions.

Brad

[WLJ]

They got hacked

23andMe confirms hackers accessed data of 6.9 million users
https://www.foxbusiness.com/fox-news-tech/23andme-confirms-hackers-accessed-data-6-9-million-users

[Pb]

And... someone leaked the information of hundreds of thousands of users that have Jewish DNA:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/23andme-user-data-targeting-ashkenazi-jews-leaked-online-rcna119324

Perhaps you should re-think the 23andme thing.

[230RN]

Good grief, people, think. Twice. If Orwell knew people would willingly put microphones and cameras in their homes, and send off dna samples to the feds, (and yes, they are going to the feds), he would have written "You fools deserve what is coming", rather than "1984".

 I would not be one bit surprised if the entire DNA "ancestry" BS was in fact a fed operation from the very start, part of the total information awareness program.

My two "boys" (they'e now both near 50) kept bugging me to do it --they had already done so, but what tokugawa noted was running through my head before even then.  They finally bought me a kit, so I felt obligated.  Came back with exactly what I had been told by my parents:   (Deleted European) background; and that my two sons were my issue.

The thing is, 23AndME kept importuning me to go further with more informational tidbits, each of which cost additional fees.  I mean, hardly a week went by that I didn't get two more e-mail "offers" from them.  No big deal, but it got kind of annoying so I relegated their e-mails to the trash bin.

So maybe I have two more cousins somewhere, so what?  Unless I can borrow money from one of them, who cares?

Besides, at 85 yo, establishing new filial relationships would be kinda pointless, no?

Terry, 230RN

EDITED TO ADD:  I deleted details of my background since paranoia prevails in terms of data mining by whomever.  Thanks for expressing that openly, tokugawa!

[K Frame]

This is my shocked face.

Yep, completely shocked that someone managed to hack their system.

I've not done, and will not do, one of these programs. The Chinese, Norks, Russians, etc., have more than enough of my information already, thank you very much.

[WLJ]

And... someone leaked the information of hundreds of thousands of users that have Jewish DNA:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/23andme-user-data-targeting-ashkenazi-jews-leaked-online-rcna119324

Perhaps you should re-think the 23andme thing.

That story is from the morning of Oct 7th, same as the Hamas attacks, which means it was posted as the attacks were occurring. Interesting timing.

[230RN]

Wouldn't it be funny if some (or many) of those Hamas people showed that damned near universal Jewish DNA?  Maybe they should start requiring 23andMe testing to "out" their own impure members.

Tee-hee-giggle-giggle.

[Pb]

I don't know if it is true, but I read some years back that the Jews were most closely related to the Kurds.

[230RN]

Actually, I'm already there. I made up my mind early on that whatever happened it would be a slow, cautious process, and that it wasn't going to change anything other than being a source of information. I was blindsided by the unexpected influx of information, sure, but only in the sense of suddenly having way more information than I ever expected, both quantity and quality. Otherwise it hasn't changed my state of mind about, well, anything.

I know who my parents are, they raised me. I have a great family and a great life that I wouldn't change for anything. This is just new information which fills in biological lineage gaps. It's cool to know, and will certainly be fun and interesting to investigate further, but is not otherwise life-changing in any respect.

It helps that I've always known I was adopted. My parents made no effort to hide it, instead choosing to treat it as a special, positive aspect in every way. As a result, I don't have some overwhelming sense of loss, urgency, or desire relative to my biological lineage. I've also taken the whole contact thing very slow, being absolutely clear that I don't want this to be a source of strife or friction for their families, and that I have no expectations or plans beyond adult medical histories. I'll let it play out organically.

Brad

You sound like you've got your head on pretty straight.  Your parents done good.

Just a new adventure path if you choose to follow it.

Congratulations !

Terry, 230RN