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R.I.P. Scout26

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Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 19780 times)

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #150 on: October 31, 2020, 06:09:33 AM »

Is Kubrick still around? They'll need him to fake the new, amphibious moon landing.

Nope, died in 1999
Never Underestimate The Power Of The Stupid Side

Angel Eyes

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"We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics."
                            - Joe Biden

Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #152 on: November 19, 2020, 01:35:35 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-ar-15-glows-blue-when-libs-are-near

Quote
U.S.—An American firearms manufacturer is making waves after unveiling a brand new AR-15 that glows blue whenever libs are nearby. Constructed with ancient elven technology from the forgotten land of Gondolin, this semi-automatic rifle will pulse with an ethereal blue light whenever it detects a democrat within a 100-yard radius.
...
"We are also working on a version for progressives that will glow red whenever there is a racist nearby," said the representative. "Unfortunately that seems to be malfunctioning because it only seems to glow around progressives. We're still working on it."
"We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics."
                            - Joe Biden

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #153 on: November 19, 2020, 01:37:45 PM »

How many rounds would it take to make the barrel glow blue?
Never Underestimate The Power Of The Stupid Side

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #154 on: December 10, 2020, 08:29:56 AM »

 :rofl:

Immediately After Moving To Texas, Elon Musk Announces Tesla AR-15
https://babylonbee.com/news/to-celebrate-move-to-texas-tesla-introduces-battery-powered-ar-15

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"We really wanted to re-think self-defense," said Musk. "This new firearm will be the go-to rifle for our SpaceX volunteers when they encounter hostile aliens. It's also a celebration of the Second Amendment. If any federal authorities try to confiscate it, the rifle will automatically connect to the internet and file a lawsuit for you!"

Comment on TTAG

Quote
After the bullet passes the sighted distance, the bullet comes back and reinsert itself down the barrel, and into a preloaded chamber ready to be fired again.
(It’s why the one bullet you have to buy is $4,800.)
https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/no-the-tesla-ar-15-isnt-real-but-dont-you-wish-it-was/
Never Underestimate The Power Of The Stupid Side

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #155 on: December 10, 2020, 09:31:33 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-to-defeat-skin-cancer-by-ordering-americans-to-wear-sunscreen-for-100-days
Biden To Defeat Skin Cancer By Ordering Americans To Avoid All Sunlight For 100 Days

Quote
According to sources, Biden's executive order will require all Americans to draw the shades on their windows and live in the basement under at least 3 blankets until 100 days have passed. Additionally, all references to sunshine, such as the song "You Are My Sunshine" and crayon drawings of the Sun in children's art will be strictly prohibited. Experts say this will "do something really scientific to save lives."

Quote
The Biden administration and other politicians will be given waivers to enjoy the sunshine outside since the stresses of their political positions require time to rest and relax.
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #156 on: December 10, 2020, 09:33:16 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-its-a-wonderful-life-remake-angel-tells-george-bailey-to-go-kill-himself-because-hes-white
In 'It's A Wonderful Life' Remake, Angel Tells George Bailey To Kill Himself Because He's White

Quote
The film will be only 20 minutes long and it will end with George Bailey asking forgiveness for his oppression. He then donates all his life insurance money to BLM and jumps off a bridge.
:facepalm:
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

Ben

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #157 on: December 19, 2020, 09:34:41 AM »

Babylon Bee guide to MSM reporting:

"I'm a foolish old man that has been drawn into a wild goose chase by a harpy in trousers and a nincompoop."

Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #158 on: December 19, 2020, 08:37:36 PM »

"We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics."
                            - Joe Biden

Jim147

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #159 on: December 19, 2020, 09:22:57 PM »

But who shot first?
Sometimes we carry more weight then we owe.
And sometimes goes on and on and on.

BAH-WEEP-GRAAAGHNAH WHEEP NI-NI BONG

kgbsquirrel

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #160 on: December 20, 2020, 03:58:28 AM »

But who shot first?

Han shot.  The end.  No first or second.  Han waxed Greedo like an antihero bawss.

Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #161 on: December 20, 2020, 07:29:08 AM »

Han shot.  The end.  No first or second.  Han waxed Greedo like an antihero bawss.

https://youtu.be/IK_iw5Yps2M?t=306     (and f*** you George Lucas)

Han isn't the only one who shoots first:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP9eiXMPLcQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkr0bwV5YWE

https://youtu.be/JrYtD7gSWsI?t=40

"We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics."
                            - Joe Biden

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #162 on: December 20, 2020, 11:54:34 AM »

“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #163 on: December 20, 2020, 12:00:50 PM »

https://youtu.be/IK_iw5Yps2M?t=306     (and f*** you George Lucas)

Han isn't the only one who shoots first:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP9eiXMPLcQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkr0bwV5YWE

https://youtu.be/JrYtD7gSWsI?t=40


That Firefly scene was one of the two scenes that had me loving that series.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPRlHwwVIug
Here is the other one.
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #164 on: January 05, 2021, 12:54:22 PM »

Dire Report Warns Hospitals Are Filled To Capacity With Dancing TikTok Nurses
https://babylonbee.com/news/dire-report-warns-hospitals-are-filled-to-capacity-with-dancing-tiktok-nurses

Quote
Some hospitals are only 95% full of dancing nurses, but all the remaining space is being used for nurses to take judgmental glaring selfies telling people to "stay the f#$% home."
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #165 on: January 05, 2021, 12:55:05 PM »

Man Driving Alone In Carpool Lane Informs Officer His Preferred Pronoun Is 'They'
https://babylonbee.com/news/driver-allowed-access-to-carpool-lane-since-preferred-pronoun-is-they

“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge
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