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Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 21208 times)

Doggy Daddy

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #50 on: October 21, 2019, 12:09:00 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/washington-post-article-on-evils-of-capitalism-hidden-behind-paywall
Washington Post Article On Evils Of Capitalism Hidden Behind Paywall

No article.  Link just has that headline.   =D

Pretty sure Hawkmoon is having a meltdown.
Is this a devil's advocacy thing, or are you just programmed for "dick" ?
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #51 on: October 21, 2019, 01:50:26 PM »

Pretty sure Hawkmoon is having a meltdown.


 :lol:
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #52 on: October 21, 2019, 07:37:29 PM »

Currently listening to the BB podcast while in a Chick-fil-a drive-through. I'm pretty sure that's grounds for sainthood.
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RocketMan

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #53 on: October 21, 2019, 08:02:08 PM »

Currently listening to the BB podcast while in a Chick-fil-a drive-through. I'm pretty sure that's grounds for sainthood.

Saint Fistful.  Scary thought. :O
“Don’t be so open-minded that your brains fall out.” - G.K. Chesterton

Conservatives see George Orwell's "1984" as a cautionary tale.  Progressives view it as a "how to" manual.

My wife often says to me, "You are evil and must be destroyed." She may be right.

How many Democrats does it take to fix a problem?  No one knows because it's never happened.

Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #54 on: October 21, 2019, 11:10:13 PM »

Or at the very least, I now know for sure I'm among the elect.  :angel:
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MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #55 on: October 22, 2019, 08:45:54 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/amazing-this-mind-reader-can-instantly-guess-peoples-pronouns-with-999-accuracy
Amazing: This Mind-Reader Can Instantly Guess People's Pronouns With 99.9% Accuracy

Quote
Maybe scientists can study how he does that and make a pill or something so the rest of us have that ability. If we were all that quick and that accurate at knowing each other’s pronouns, almost no one would have to announce their pronouns upon first meeting someone. Think of that futuristic utopia!
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Groundbreaking Pew Research Study
« Reply #56 on: October 23, 2019, 03:28:17 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-extensive-pew-research-study-finds-100-of-pews-uncomfortable
Groundbreaking Pew Research Study Finds Pews Are Uncomfortable
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball
« Reply #57 on: October 23, 2019, 03:34:15 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-identifying-6-year-old-crushes-game-winning-homer-tee-ball-championship
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship


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His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.

Quote
Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Tim Tebow Suspended For Using Performance-Enhancing Bible Verses
« Reply #58 on: October 23, 2019, 03:38:11 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/tim-tebow-suspended-for-using-performance-enhancing-bible-verses
Tim Tebow Suspended For Using Performance-Enhancing Bible Verses

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“The league has a zero-tolerance policy on Bible verses that inspire and encourage a player to do his best and play for the glory of God, and thus bestow an unfair advantage,” league investigator Mack Columbeau said in a press conference. “We will be looking into this matter objectively and completely before rendering a final judgment on Mr. Tebow. If he has violated league policy, he’ll be punished appropriately.”

"Oh, Mr. Tebow I have just one more question......."   =D
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #59 on: October 23, 2019, 03:54:49 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/migrant-caravan-mysteriously-disappears-but-leaves-behind-cool-wooden-horse
Migrant Caravan Mysteriously Disappears But Leaves Behind Cool Wooden Horse

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U.S./MEXICO BORDER—The migrant caravan headed for the U.S. has been the center of much controversy, but the problem seems to have solved itself, as the entire caravan has mysteriously disappeared.

In other, unrelated, good news, there's now a really cool-looking giant wooden horse sitting right at the U.S. border, fresh for the taking.

This is just funny.  You have to read the short story on this one.   :laugh:


“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record
« Reply #60 on: October 27, 2019, 09:57:47 PM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/motorcycle-that-identifies-as-bicycle-sets-world-cycling-record
Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record

I wonder if this was Jamis.

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Banner also said he painted the word "HUFFY" on the side of his bike, ensuring he has no advantage over the bikes that came out of the factory as bicycles.

Some critics say he needs to cut off his motor in order to make the competition fairer, but he quickly called these people bigots, and they were immediately banned from professional cycle racing.
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

Ben

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #61 on: October 28, 2019, 10:14:57 PM »

"I'm a foolish old man that has been drawn into a wild goose chase by a harpy in trousers and a nincompoop."

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #62 on: October 28, 2019, 10:26:40 PM »

I was just about that add that.   =D
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

Hawkmoon

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #63 on: October 28, 2019, 10:43:31 PM »

Damn dog.

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-uncovers-evidence-hero-dog-sniffed-butts

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He identified as pansniffual.

I need a new keyboard, and a windscreen wiper for my monitor.

RoadKingLarry

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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

Samuel Adams

Angel Eyes

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"We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics."
                            - Joe Biden

"But even Dr. King’s assassination did not have the worldwide impact that George Floyd’s death did."
                            - also Joe Biden

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #66 on: November 05, 2019, 08:39:54 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-installs-confession-booths-so-you-can-admit-to-eating-at-popeyes
Chick-Fil-A Installs Confessionals So You Can Repent From Eating At Popeyes

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"Bless me, assistant manager, for I have sinned," one contrite patron said to a smiling Chick-fil-A employee as she entered the booth. "It has been 3 weeks since my last Chick-fil-A meal and confession."

“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

Unisaw

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #67 on: November 05, 2019, 06:23:38 PM »

The most successful tyranny is not the one that uses force to assure uniformity but the one that removes the awareness of other possibilities.” —Allan Bloom

Perd Hapley

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MechAg94

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Slain Trump Balloon Rises Again Three Days Later
« Reply #69 on: November 13, 2019, 09:22:56 AM »

https://babylonbee.com/news/knifed-trump-balloon-rises-again-three-days-later
Slain Trump Balloon Rises Again Three Days Later

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TUSCALOOSA, AL—The famous big baby Trump balloon was stabbed to death in Tuscaloosa over the weekend.

Followers mourned its death. But when some women came to pay their respects to the downed balloon three days later, they were shocked to find the balloon was rising again.

"It's a miracle!" cried awed onlookers as the balloon slowly began to reinflate itself and ascend into the heavens. "Just as it was prophesied!"

"Go, therefore, and make America great again," the balloon said. "And behold, I will be with you always. Or at least for another seven or eight terms."

The balloon rose and rose until it disappeared from sight, hidden by the clouds.
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #70 on: November 13, 2019, 09:55:53 AM »

Some days I feel like this.

https://babylonbee.com/news/church-introvert-dons-do-not-greet-medical-bracelet
Church Introvert Dons 'Do Not Greet' Medical Bracelet

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LAS CRUCES, NM—Local church introvert Denny Patterson got dressed for church Sunday morning, grabbed his Bible, and slapped on his new "Do Not Greet" medical bracelet, a helpful visual reminder for other parishioners and members of the welcome team not to talk to him at all.

“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

Fly320s

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #71 on: November 13, 2019, 10:35:28 AM »

Kinda related thread veer.

I just recently learned that my airline does not follow DNR orders for passengers.  So, if you don't want to be revived, don't drop nearly-dead on my plane. 
Islamic sex dolls.  Do they blow themselves up?

K Frame

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #72 on: November 13, 2019, 10:45:12 AM »

"Some days I feel like this."

Some days?

Wow, aren't you the social *expletive deleted*ing butterfly...  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #73 on: November 13, 2019, 05:28:30 PM »

Some days I feel like this.

https://babylonbee.com/news/church-introvert-dons-do-not-greet-medical-bracelet
Church Introvert Dons 'Do Not Greet' Medical Bracelet



They sell "Do Not Greet" wristbands in their web store. I got one for a friend of mine at church.  :lol:
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MechAg94

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #74 on: November 13, 2019, 08:08:07 PM »

"Some days I feel like this."

Some days?

Wow, aren't you the social *expletive deleted*ing butterfly...  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
What they need is "Do Not Hug" wrist bands.   =)
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge
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